Saturday, February 23, 2013

Session: February 23, 2013


"Joe glanced at his watch: Not even noon and it had started already! He wondered if he could take any more of this."
by GS

Hangovers are not usually a problem for Joe Sixpack. He can put away gallons of watery American beer and barely register on the sheriff's breathalyzer test. So waking to the sound of jackhammers in his head was very unexpected. Joe stumbled into the bathroom and eliminated several gallons, mostly into the bowl, but wtih the usual splashing that infuriated his wife. The jackhammers subsided a bit as he attacked his coffee, but he knew this was not his usual morning after. What had they snuck into his mug at the bar? Clearly he had ingested something with his Coors Lite that made a difference. Once he got outside the glanced at his watch: Not even noon and it had started already! He wondered if he could take any more of this. Halloween was supposed to be fun for everyone, but he never expected the local hoodlums to trap a cat in his pumpkin! Who was responsible for this sadistic act? Then Joe began to remember more about the night before, how he had come home to a yowling cat on his doorstep, and his drunken reaction. He had stuffed that cat in the pumpkin! Maybe it was time to stop drinking, he postulated. He knew he couldn't take any more of this!



"The doctors had to be wrong."
by AD

A man stood beside me as I woke up in a strange building. I was strapped into a bed with a blanket covering my lower half. I looked to the left and saw my friend lying dead, his nose bleeding. What happened to us? Last thing I remember was that we were at a huge party in Losieana Madigraw, that explains his bloody nose. That skirt chasing fool had seen how the girls dressed. No wonder his nose is bleeding so bad. I looked at the man and asked where am I. I saw desert all around me. You are in a mental prison in New Mexico. Your friend there died of blood loss and overintoxication. Poor fello. And you my friend have sliced off your mid section when you jumped off a building. Now you are officially a jack ass. The doctor had to be wrong. I flipped the covers off and true enough, I had the lower body of a donkey. Everyone here is mad. He said I don't have a medical degree so how is your health insurance?


"Deep in the Iron Pentacle, the red-hot Iron energy flows upward."
by CC

Deep in the Iron Pentacle, the red-hot iron energy flows upwards. Edgar knew this well, but still he went into the strange forest on a new moon. He could feel the iron pentacle deep in the earth. Its vibration shimmered up through the lether soles of his boots. The energy would flow faster soon so there was no time to waste. Wandering through the trees in the dark, he soon arrived at the center of the woods, where stood the little card table he had set up at the full moon, when the pentacle slept. On the table sat the glass of collected dew. He quickly drank the few sips, then slid the glass into his pocket. It was done. Now he had to get out, fast. As he headed back through the trees he could hear the pounding start. He picked up his pace. The ground began to shake and before he could find his balance, the trees all suddenly shifted to the north. Edgar fell over a moving trunk and scrambled to his feet. He was almost out, but the polarity shift had done something to him. He felt strange, unlike himself. When he emerged onto the street at last, he knelt in the road and watched the stars spin overhead. Soon he felt better. Dawn approached. He turned towards home.



"These days, I am attempting to live more in balance."
by PV

Being a library cat is not the easiest. I know, libraries are dens of quiet - truly the cat's meow with plenty of snoozing time to allow those frisky and fractious mice to come out from the shadows of our brains to cavor in gleeful, insulting abandon until they unknowingly awaken us feline giants - and pow! It's mouse au gratin on a paw, slapping this sneaky squeak into the next life, leaving me to gleefully crunch his bones. Nice, huh, and sloped-back books do present such easy literary recliners. These days, I am attemping to live more in balance.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Session February 9 2013

http://www.dailyinspiration.nl/mysterious-photography/
They wobbled when the air pressure suddenly changed.
By TT

I am an aironaut and live in a small community of wandering Christian sisters. My job is to draw the maps of the territories we visit so that we can remember the areas we have been. I also record the experiences we had there and the histories and names of converts. We show the natives of the region how to make sellable crafts and we take the items to a market.

Some natives are suspicious and think we are stealing their wives, daughers or children when we convert them to our religion. We don't accept men as converts. We take our converts up with us into our airships to show them Heaven and Earth. They are usually so impressed they wobbled when air pressure changes. When they are not impressed we throw them out of the ship.




Everyone said it was a global pandemic.
by PV

Vijana was so absorbed, but she was dressed well in the garden. I scarcely noticed the other figures frozen in the foliage. Even their floating eyes in their still bodies were eclipsed by Vijana's still gaze - a pond of limpid clear resolve stretching out forever on this day we all were made to play statues. Later, in modes of analysis and recovery, most agreed and everyone said it ws a global pandemic. But I felt we and especially Vijana had lived in a second of God's life.




davidandallensprojectblog.wordpress.com
Her side of the story.
by GS

She had been searching through the woods for hours, knowing that the shrine to the Goddess of the Moon was hidden within. It had been built by a coven of Wiccans decades earlier, and many troubled women made the pilgrimage each year. The exact location was never documented to diminish the probability of male interference, thus searching was always needed. Once she found it a profound sense of relief arose in her heart and mind. Now she would be able to express her side of the story to an understanding diety!




It didn't make any sense, but not much did anymore.
by CC

Lawrence sat in the ruined jet at the bottom of the sea. It was the darn Bermuda Triangle, that's what fouled him up. And now he was obviously dead, still strapped into the pilot's seat. Well, the straps shouldn't pose a problem, he thought, and drifted out into the ocean like a scuba diver. The light cascading through the waves was soothing. But he needed to tell someone what had happened to him before he went on to whatever came next. But how could he do that? He noticed a shark swimming lazily overhead. Could he possess it? It didn't make any sense, but not much did anymore. He floated up and into the shark and took control. They exited the sea in the Florida Keys. He walked the shark's body up to a Kayak Rental stand and knocked with a flipper on the door. The man who opened it roared with laugher and pointed at him. Land shark, he laughed. Land shark! Lawrence flopped away in disgust. He went to a small motel nearby but the story was the same: At every door the person would hoot and holler and shout Land Shark! He felt like a walking comedy routine. It was a cruel joke. He was angry. The next door he knocked on was opened by yet another laid back island type. Lawrence suddenly decided to get proactive. Land shark, he said to the man, and then ate him.



http://www.squidoo.com/wierd_things
He felt himself being watched.
By RMAF

He felt himself being watched on the street in Tijuana. He turned around and there were three sleuths on the sidwealk. There were a canine and a feline officer from the Chula Vista Police Department. But my criminal luck was with me again! Ole! The three furry officers had been drinking tequila all night long on their stake out. They were drunk out of their gourds by morning. I and a dozen other mule packers all walked right by them and they didn't even notice! Onward mule packers, northward to all the big cities up the coast! We're going to make lots and lots of dinero!



http://www.dailyinspiration.nl/mysterious-photography/
The shrine room was apparently keeping the unhealthy spiral at bay.
by AD

The shrine room was apparently keeping the unhealthy spiral at bay along with this very strange man who was dancing. Both of these characters were very strange. The spiral would consume an object in a strange blue light before that item would vanish, and the man was now screaming. The only thing left in this room was the bust of the founder, the monk who built this temple. He didn't have a name so he became known as Shed, short for Shining Head. The spiral went into the bust of Shed and music began to play. We looked over at the man dancing and hopping, screaming "I am the song of Shining Head la la la!" Right then every one of us who had lived in this temple our whole lives, some of us 12, some 90, all realized something. We realized that we worshipped and followed the teachings of a psycho, and all of us wondered why we couldn't see it before.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Session January 26

http://www.123rf.com/photo_10854354_wine-tasting-in-a-vineyard.html

Their lives hung in the balance
by PV

Hildegard and Franz were proud this day. Years of planning, tending and even backbreaking work had resulted in two salubrious vintages. The piquancy of the two fit together like yin and yang. This important offering was viewed with gustatory delight by Inspector Gross in his tour of the magnificent vineyards along a sublime bend in the Rhine.

To the side stood Oscar feigning obsequiousness. His moment had arrived and only the Gods could sanction the revenge he desired. He knew it all well in his 20 years of service. Even now he couldn't remember just which glass he'd put the poison in. He smiled broadly at the three others. Their lives hung in the balance.


http://www.dailyinspiration.nl/mysterious-photography/

She tried her best to turn things around.
by CC

Philip had enjoyed being in the maximum security jail. It had been comforting, and for the first time in his life he felt he belonged somewhere. As his mood and outlook improved he grew so upbeat and optimistic that he received an early discharge as a model prisoner. Martha came to pick him up. She was happy at first, but when he refused to change his clothes and just lay on the couch with a sad face, she knew something was wrong. She tried her best to turn things around, but nothing helped - not beer-can chicken, Budweiser with chips or Monday Night Football. Finally she knew he needed to go back in. It was the only way. She cradled his head in her lap as she devised his next crime. The room went still around them. Was this a sin, she wondered? Then so be it. She felt a surge of conviction.


http://misslottiecc.wordpress.com/odd things
i

Footsteps in the Dark
by GS

The fight had been over quickly. Jake's extra weight proved decisive so Buff just lay there in resignation, knowing he had again been overwhelmed by his large eldest son. "I'll probably be stuck here until dinner," he thought, remembering his last humiliation. Jake sat quietly now that his status had been reaffirmed. No need to waste energy on a fallen opponent after all!

Then they both heard footsteps in the dark, footsteps not at all familiar. Instantly, Jake jumped up into fighting mode and Buff quickly joined him. Now that an external threat loomed, they were completely focused on it and had no further need to fight each other. When the door opened they both attacked the stranger immediately. No trespasser had ever survived their combined efforts, and their perfect record remained intact once again.

http://www.piculous.com/weird-hairy-people/
We were forced to visit another powerful shaman in the town
By RMF

We were forced to visit another powerful shaman in the town because the prayers of the first one worked too well - now we need a different shaman to reverse our prayers. We prayed that Gertrude Agnes Olivia, who was going bald, would receive more hair. We never imagined our prayers would work so fast and so well.


http://npac.ca/?p=6129

Things were not as they seemed; someone was keeping secrets
by TT

Celtic Morning -No Coffee.
When the Romans left, the Celts were wandering around lost. Now there was no-one to revolt against, no-one to blame but themselves, no-one to petition or trick. It was awful. Would they have to go back to being barbarians again? But things were not as they seemed, someone was keeping secrets, like who gave the Druids the luxurious Roman spa? No-one was able to remove that dumb sword inside the stupid rock. There were no heroes in Britain.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Session January 12 2013

http://www.funzug.com/index.php/unusual-things/most-unusual-trees-ever.html
A bizarre creature met the launch upon the Beach.
by LD

It isn't a tree! It is a tree!  "I am so tired of your constant attitude of authority," said Mikey, the huge brother of two very threatening gorillas.  Telepathy seemed so silent to human ears, but to the big courageous mammals of the wild there was a very loud argument coming from the jeep the two had decided to sit in after running the 2 safari hunters off into the jungle to search for cellphone service. Suddenly a bizarre creature that could not be real met the launch upon the beach. "It is a mirage," yelled Mikey, the gorilla. "You're an absolute unadultereated idiot." Silent and serene was the tree and the countryside beyond  - themes in the telepathic waveform of communication between animals.


http://www.flixya.com/blog/21882/Unusual-photos
At that moment I should have left. by PV

But this was 1942, and the stop sign was the wrong shape. Where did she bank wrong in the sky corridors? The way before had been festooned with draped memories - someone else's - not those of her own aerie. They were the ossified remnants of avian memories, holding their own until time's arrow reduced them to clouds of dust. But this was new - she had escaped the tethers of the barrage balloons, the thudding ack-ack guns, and had been headed for the creamy cliffs of Dover and a nest with a view. It was light beyond the sign- she could have succumbed to despair - but I wanted to see more, to see what she would do, my links to her fading. At that moment I should have left.


http://theberry.com/2010/02/11/these-beds-are-anything-but-ordinary-20-photos/out-of-the-ordinary-beds
Lester was born with two left feet and two right hands.
by GS

Lester was born with two left feet and two right hands. At first life was quite difficult, especially when he needed to buy shoes, but he learned to cope. To compensate for his differences he designed an elegant living space that was both simple and comfortable. The large cylinder, which contained his bed, had started out as a window display case in an upscale store which went belly-up in the economic disaster, so he got it cheaply. He spent his time meditating in his bed with his two left feet tucked under his knees, his misplaced right hand in his robe so that casual visitors never even noticed his abnormalities. Not knowing what to do with his life he decided to ponder the state of the world until he could offer solutions to intractable problems. He died unfulfilled at an early age.



Ludwig was branching out, no longer satisfied with the status quo.
by TT

All eyes were fastened on Ludwig. His audience was riveted by his long whiskers and tail and his painted claws. He didn't notice them until he had eaten half the cheese - the limburger - and looked up. He was satisfied that he had their complete attention. It was good that he had the cage between himself and them. Ludwig was branching out, no longer satisfied with the status quo. He thought he'd put the cat treats closer and it amused him to see their faces.



http://hd-desktop-wallpapers.blogspot.com/2011/01/winter-fantasy-winter-background.html
My father used to tell me
By UV

My father used to tell me stories about the journeys he took to Alaska and the big bright moon shining through the trees glistening on the snow. He said you could almost reach out and touch it. My Father told about a time when he was on his way to his cabin and you could see the silhouette of an elk in the moon. He told me stories of his life at the cabin in Alaska, hunting and fishing, and his strolls through the woods as a young boy. I enjoyed the stories. My dad is long gone now. I visit the cabin often. One night I looked up and saw the silhouette of my dad and his dog in the moon. Now I tell my children stories about the cabin in the woods


http://www.auto-broker-magic.com/funny-car-pictures.html
The first cut is the deepest
by CC

Al and Ben stood in the snow hole where they had laboriously excavated their Ford Explorer. Al rested on his shovel while Ben pocketed the spoon he had been using. "You shouldn't be so tired, then, Ben," said Al. "I think I did most of the dang work."  "No, siree," said Ben. "I did just as much, working a lot faster."  "But I worked harder," said Al. "No, I worked faster, " countered Ben. "You little creep!," shouted Al, "I did all this work while you just flipped your little spoon around!" "Why, you jerk! The first cut is the deepest" shouted Ben, scraping his spoon across Al's cheek. As Al raised the shovel, Ben jumped in the Explorer. Al began to shovel snow back over the car while Ben started the engine. He believed in the power of the spoon, and began rocking the car gently forward and back in the snow.




I call it a spiritual odyssey, a kind of missioinary voyage
by AD

I call it a spiritual odyssey, a kind of missionary voyage for the truth of one's self. I left my family and my home to find the truth of myself, who I am. I traveled to many places over the world and had many battles like one over a banana with this monkey on a pirate ship, and my most recent battle with the bloodthirsty killer Shamu. If I didn't go to jail for 5 years he would have fed me overseas for many months. I've also made many enemies and am a wanted man in many places in Japan for the way they say I offended the Buddha and Sumo wrestlers and when I broke a sword on the last samurai. In American I fell on top of the First Lady and placed her in a coma. There were many hardships too like whenI was in a forest in Wales and used poison oak as toilet paper. Or on the sea, I had water everywhere and a glass of it to drink. I am now standing in the middle of New York City playing an ancient tune and doing a spiritual dance, and have realized the truth I searched for about myself: I am a crazy fat man and am making a huge fool of myself. Tomorrow on You Tube you will see a fat guy in his underwear dancing and playing a funny song on a weird flute.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Session: December 29, 2012

"Even though she didn't care anymore, she still had to tell him."
by CC

Bert was jealous of everyone that Arlene loved, but none more than Ardath the silkie. Arlene would run from their house to the shore on moonlit nights to visit with Ardath, who came out of the sea just to sit with Arlene and drink tea from an old thermos. Oh, how they joked about Bert! Bert sat in the house at his telescope and watched. He knew all the stories - the silkie wasn't interested in Arlene at all. She was for him, Bert! But as the moons passed, Arlene stood as gatekeeper with her old thermos. She was growing tired of the seal woman, who stank of kelp and had little pointed teeth. One night as she set out for the shore, a huge bolt of lightning went straight for the silkie. Arlene could hear her little bark as the bolt hit home. Poor Bert. Even though she didn't care anymore, she still had to tell him.


http://www.dilsedesi.co/forums/index.php?showtopic=29060
"No one could possibly suspect them, he thought."
by TT

No one could possibly suspect them, he thought as he dropped the piano from the floor above on top of Barbie and Ken's convertible. But it was not his problem anyway. They deserved it. Lydia used them as models for her new toys.



http://warships1discussionboards.yuku.com/reply/280220/Re-Big-turrets
 "To navigate the end of history, he became a galactic shaman."
by GS

The war had become the longest ever recorded at 130 years! Though active fighting only occurred sporadically, the news was dominated by reports of negotiations, retreats, new weapons, and double-crosses. Cedric had grown old in the Army but never rose above the rank of corporal for reasons he could not fathom. His boots were always polished and his dress uniform pressed. Someone had it in for him, he was sure. Finally he had had enough when the news reports bottomed out with imminent destruction from the new nuclear weapons now ready to use. To navigate he end of history, he became a galactic shaman driving around in his home-made cardboard tank which he propelled by walking behind the front wheel. His sanity had finally retired!


http://tak-rang.blogspot.com/2011/03/coolfashioncafe-unusual-things.html
"They become more severe in times of emotional stress."
by PV

His name was Mongli - but wait! Wasn't Mongli a nice brown Tamil boy cavorting with Baloo - a renovated Disneyesque Kipling bear - and Ka - what sort of a name was that? Lulls one into dangerous assumptions, defnitely curls one's tail opposite tucked in abject fear between one's legs. Now these paroxysms of fancy, they become more severe during times of emotional stress - so we all know what to do - calm out, immerse yourself in a wonderful misasmic cloud of enlightening burning smoke from prized vegetation.



http://www.fanpop.com/spots/winter/images/2368964/title/winter-wallpaper
"Marlene told the Masked Man, Let me go, I don't have what you want."
by RMF

The pair of deer found some auditable entertainment ou in the dreary, snow-covered forest - an electronic talking snow statue with blinking eyes.




http://people.zozo.jp/kanfuruya/diary?p=5
"He was starving but still could not bring himself to eat it."
by LD

He was starving but still could not bring himself to eat more of the 'homemade brownies' his sister made for the most dreaded "Darce Family Reunion." Not an ounce of love had ever been expressed amongst his less than favorite so called 'family members.' But thanks to Sistah this reunion was all about laugher and knee-slapping reflections. Kudos to my future brother in law, he thought. You can deal up "good times" with me any time!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Session: December 15, 2012

"Trouble, big trouble."
by PV

They were relieved, crossing the glacial flow. The storm clouds were scudding away and the night promised to be clear, crisp and bone-chilling cold. It was an outrageous, mad escape, scuttling between watchtowers, painfully arranging and cutting the barbed wire with stolen, almost useless pliers. His hands were a bloody mess. Zi tried to slow the flow of blood with scraps ripped from the hem of her skirt.

They needed to find shelter soon before the planes came buzzing in an angry waspish pursuit. But it was too late. Even as they ran forward, the roaring of a massive jet increased. They were forced to the rim of a crevasse - trouble, big trouble. The sound was disappearing, as if it came from beneath them. Incredibly, it did! There was a tremendous cataract roaring across the gap of the crevasse from one inner ice channel to another 30 feet away. They still had time.



"My secret collection"
By CC

Arlo the Catfish had an evolutionary growth spurt one afternoon when a North Korean satellite crashed into his bayou. The radiation spewed into his brain, creating a prefrontal cortex and a big appetite. Arlo crawled up onto shore and thought, Phew! This place stinks. I want out. He saw an Escalade parked nearby, belonging to a oil executive who was speaking with an engineer nearby about the potentials of fracking. Arlo slipped behind the wheel and took off. He needed protein, and something in him wanted to hunt.  People walking up and down the street started to look pretty juicy to Arlo. He conceived an exciting new desire for trophies. Pretty soon he pulled into a drive-through and gurgled through the squawk box that he needed a drink. When he pulled up to the counter, the man held out the drink but gave Arlo a very funny look. Arlo could tell he thought it was all a big joke. Well, Arlo thought, he'll be the first in my secret collection.





"We climbed to the top."
by GS

The new religion had caught on quickly. Everyone was bowing to their chosen flowers seven times a day. It was considered a big improvement over the outdated religions which had withered from their original significance. Some chose bushes with flowers, some chose single stem bulbs and some chose flowering trees. My husband and I chose the cherry blossoms as our personal gods. The tree we had planted grew quickly into the tallest in the state, and we were very proud. On National Prayer Day, we climbed to the top and inhaled deeply, reaching nirvana.



"Everyone was staring at me"
by TT

The day had begun badly. There was no help for it. I missed the bus and had to walk five blocks before I could get to the next appointment and I was already late. I threw my ice-cream wrapper at the trash can and missed so I bent down to pick it up. I didn't expect to block the sidewalk in the crowded street with bustling commuters pushing me. I lost my balance and fell. I grabbed at the trash can and it tipped over on top of me. By now, everyone had stopped and were staring at me. Someone said, "Here, pussy-pussy." Another guy almost stepped on my tail.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Session: December 1, 2012


 "Never again"
by CC

Frank hated being an orangutan. But he did his best to live a normal life. He signed up as swim coach at the Sunnyside Pool. They tried to give him some baloney about excessive body hair, but he just smiled at them with his big teeth showing, and they gave him the vest. The real test came when he saw Rusty, the dog next door. That loudmouthed hound kept him up all night- and now he was supposed to teach him how to swim? As Frank held Rusty in the pool, and Rusty pretended to dogpaddle, he kept thinking about just letting go. Rusty could sink or swim on his own. It was an appealling idea. Frank pondered for a few moments, then said "never again," and let Rusty sink like a stone.


"She looked down at her feet in amazement."
by GS

It had taken hours to walk all the way to the shrine, but she was determined to reach it so she could honor the memory of her dead dog. The shrine had been erected many years ago to provide a peaceful sanctuary for bereaved mourners, and her pain was so intense she had chosen to make the trip to seek relief. Her beloved German Shepard, Max, had died suddenly at age 7, and she felt she wanted to die with him. They loved each other immensely, and his loss was more painful than the loss of her human partner two years earlier. Also, her youngest child was now 18, and she felt useless and lost. As she walked, she stumbled over something in the grass while staring intently straight ahead. She looked down at her feet in amazement, seeing a very young German Shepard puppy gazing up at her. All of a sudden, she knew she still wanted to live.


http://photocompetition.upclive.com/seo/photo/572298/roodborstje_in_de_sneeuw/vogels

"Everyone else was laughing."
by AD

I was a powerful CEO, the big cheese who stands proudly, victoriously..on the backs of my employees, of course. I was rich, too; I had to be, in order to buy all the cars I have - Mustangs, trucks and enough to put on a 3 hour car show daily. A different woman every day on one hand, a different bottle of fine wine or sherry in the other. I walked into my meeting with an oil company about to go out of business which would benefit my checking account. I walked in and everyone else was laughing at me. Since when did the room and everyone else get so big? Why did I want to take a bath in the water pitcher? As I got close I could see I was now a tiny bird! Everyone in the room was dying of laughter. Let's see how funny it is when I poop on all their new cars.