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http://surrealistisch.blogspot.com/2010/06/odd-nerdrum.html
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by CC
She was two faced, he thought bitterly. It had nothing to do with them, it was just her. He turned to look at his siblings. They were telepathic triplets. Right, said Rolf, after hearing Berks thoughts. She was a veritable Janus! Oh yes, chimed in Julius, you couldn’t believe anything she said.
They stood up and walked outside. She was a horror, said Julius. A monster, said Rolf. They began to walk faster, enjoying the outdoors. Your panties are showing, someone called from the sidewalk, but they didn’t care.
Faster and faster they walked, galvanized by her wretched duplicitousness. How did we ever put up with it, they said in unison, wrapping their cloaks closer against the wind chill. It was exciting. The triplets hadn’t had this much fun in ages. Oh she was so awful, cried Julius.
There were paths and trails and meadows and woodland, there were mountains and endless dawns! They could go on and on, marching in delicious unison, declaiming her evils! It was beyond thrilling. It was what they were made for. But then they heard the siren. It sounded miles away. But louder and louder it grew.
Oh rats, said Julius. I know it, said Rolf. She was awful, said Berk. They stopped walking and their cloaks fell down over their panties again. The van cut its siren as it pulled up behind them. They obediently turned back towards it.
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https://plus.google.com/113771818026031455748/posts
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“Ginger and Polly were best friends until the day it happened”
Ginger and Polly were best friends until the day it happened. It was kind of a fluke, actually—very much a fluke. They were being transported to another zoo, in a city about two-hundred miles away, and the arrangements had been made to take them in one of those giant Huey helicopters that the army uses for troop transport. It seemed like an okay arrangement, considering that they had to arrive at the zoo in time for a performance.
You see, Ginger and Polly were two giraffes. They were not very old and had not grown terribly tall yet—just about eight feet at the shoulders. They were also trained giraffes. I know, that sounds a bit bizarre to you; you’ve never seen giraffes in the circus or anything like that. Nevertheless, they did tricks, and the reason they did them at the zoo is simply because they had had a very special keeper once upon a time who had thought it would be marvelous fun to teach them. Most people do not realize just how intelligent giraffes are.
The Huey, I said, was a logical choice of transportation; only they had to stick their heads out the two large cargo doors as they flew. Ginger particularly liked this part. The trouble arose when the pilot noticed his fuel gauge; he was almost out of gas. This almost never happens with these guys, but it did on this day. They were almost to the zoo, going over the roof-tops of the city in fact. There was a very suitable landing spot on top of one of the tall buildings, so he just dropped sweetly onto it and told them to get off.
“I’ll be right back for you and we’ll continue on our way,” he said cheerfully, knowing already that they would understand. Ginger and Polly gingerly got out of the Huey and stood on the top of the building watching the pilot fly away.
They waited and waited, but he did not return. “Something must have happened to him,” Polly said. “I think that we’ll have to improvise.”
“Like what?” Ginger quipped. “We’re on the top of a very tall building. I doubt we’d fit in the stairwell or the elevator.”
“True,” Polly replied. “But see that rope over there? We can use it to walk to the next building over there.” She gestured with one hoof. Ginger saw that the other building had a pedestrian ramp from an observation tower. It wound down all the way to the street below.
“Well, wonders never cease,” Ginger said, “but what does the rope have to do with anything?”
“Simple.” Polly picked up the rope with her mouth and deftly tied a lasso onto the end. Then, using the incredible strength and flexibility of her neck muscles, tossed it over to the other building, where it caught an extended pipe very neatly.
It would bore you to relate all the details of how she got it good and tight, but she did. Then she proceeded to simply walk across to the other building.
“See?” she said, “No problem.”
It was not a problem for Polly, but it turned out to be quite a problem for Ginger. What, with the fact she had never done that particular trick, and hights were not her thing. I know, you think that no giraffe should be afraid of heights. Polly thought that too, until she saw Ginger suddenly cart to the side and go plummeting down.
“Oh, well,” she said to herself. “Now I will have to get another partner. And we’ll work on this trick. You never know when it will come in handy.”
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http://thechive.com/2012/04/25/animals-that-its-hard-to-hate-35-photos/animals-funny-goofy-interesting-8/
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"You're never fully dressed without a smile."
by RMAF
Mr. Fred Furball Falanderer was a male cat who had a stubborn, ornery, sassy personality or should I say catality. His pet parent has been working with him for years to clean up his cat act. Every day, she would say to him "You're never fully dressed without a smile." And every day after she told him that Mr. F.F.F. would stick out his little pink tongue and say Phhhffft! to that!
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http://all-that-is-interesting.com/odd-photos#1
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by TNT
Lisa Mae was an extrovert. She was a show off like her cousin Humphry who climbed up to the top of bridges, water-towers and trees and spray painted his logo - an egg - on them. He had his fame. Now Lisa Mae was going to show him and his friends that she was a serious competitor. But first she would make fun of him by dressing up like an egg and sitting on a wall like Humpty Dumpty. She sat there all day long but no-one noticed her. Lisa Mae had a good reason for everything she did. Dressing up like an egg wasn't a good enough reason. So she climbed down. "Life is dealing with disappointments," her mother told her. Well, next week-end she'd dress up as an egg and hang out the top story of the high school window. They would notice her there, she smirked to herself. "See Lisa Mae! She dressed up as an egg! Hope she doesn't become an omelet!" She didn't become an omelet but she was seriously reprimanded by the teacher and sent to detention hall. Humphry and his pals took offense and threatened to beat her up if she dressed like an egg again. She promised.
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http://acidcow.com/pics/12924-odd-haircuts-17-pics.html
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"An eclipse cast its shadow across the sea."
by BG
Cassidy had never strayed from her conservative style in her life. She had lived in a middle-class town in middle America as the middle child of a family that lived in the middle of a mid-sized development. Then in the middle of the family vacation mid-way through the summer at the beach, an eclipse cast its shadow across the sea. The next day she went out and had a chunk cut out of the middle of her conservative mid-length haircut.
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http://www.businessinsider.com/apple-brain-busting-interview-questions-answers-2012-6?op=1
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Though Julio bathed five times daily he always felt dirty.
by GS
The voyage from Arcturus had been difficult. Arriving on the mysterious blue planet was a welcome break, and the first native Julio encountered was friendly, though a bit simple. The pastoral lifestyle had some drawbacks, such as the incessant dirt and innumerable flies which thrived on equine fecal matter. Nevertheless, Julio attempted to blend in as much as possible. Though Julio bathed five times daily he always felt dirty. The local inhabitants were much amused by his compulsive cleanliness, yet were not particularly concerned about his size or appearance, as though extra-terrestrial visitors were a common occurrence. His host, Simon, attempted to make Julio as comfortable as possible but had to draw the line when the water pump broke down from excessive usage. All those baths had strained the farm's water system and under current drought conditions there was no solution. Regretfully, Simon shook hands in farewell and sent Julio back to his spacecraft.
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http://www.funfluster.com/funny/strange-funny.html
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"The phone rang and rang with no answer."
by PV
One thing that really upset Imori was the inattentiveness of most of the populace. They ran their little lives with not a care for the big picture. And even in their own affairs they had so much to juggle that life was definitely a daunting task. And how had that happened? Well it was the usual head-on clash between greed and survival and all the rationalizations betwixt them. This time it had gone too far. As punishing giant, his ire was up. Having super sensitive hearing didn't help. Imori knew there was a steady flow of sensitive information which was not being delivered because they were having some ridiculous party. It irritated him no end. Imori, unfortunately, was only 3 years old and his punishing rage knew no bounds. So he acted - as the phone rang and rang with no answer.
