Session April 8 2017

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Are you a beginning birder?

By CC

Cho was tired of rowing with his leg, but that was how it was done in Burma, how it had been done for centuries, and he had to continue the tradition or be laughed off the river, or worse. So he continued his labors as the small boat slid down the river.

Nancy and Harold Bloombury were his charges today. He was taking them on an authentic Burmese river tour, one sanctioned by the government.

Nancy looked at Cho curiously, one hand idly spinning the crystal she wore around her neck for absorbing grief. “Are you a beginning birder?” she asked, after a  minute.

Cho didn’t quite understand. What was a birder? He shifted the fish basket on his hip and looked sideways at her. What should he say? There was nothing in the government training manual about this word. He just nodded his head.

Nancy turned to Harold and said, “I told you so. He IS one of them.”

“Now, Nancy, don’t jump to conclusions like that. Not all birders are bad people.”  He reached out to comfort his wife but she twisted away from him. 

“I don’t care what you say. Our little Julie would still be alive if it wasn’t for beginning birders!”  Harold’s eyes misted a little, remembering the small daughter who had been knocked into a marsh by a beginning birder on the hunt for the rare Wilson’s Snipe. Little Julie had drowned.

Suddenly Nancy pulled a pistol out of her travel vest and shot Cho right through the heart. His hat flew off into the river and his last thought, as he slumped over the side of the skiff, was “what the hell is a birder?”

Harold grabbed the pistol away from Nancy and threw it into the river. He looked around anxiously.  They had no oar, no way to control the skiff, and the river current was strong. He turned to Nancy and said, “Are you happy now?” in a voice he hoped was dripping with sarcasm. 

“Yes, Harold. I’m very happy. In fact my heart is at peace now.” 

His face softened. Perhaps it was all worth it.

And they floated down the Iriwaddy towards the great sea.

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People respond to this by becoming angry and upset.
by MD

Katie was an independent child - she'd always been that way. And to her mother's bemusement, there was something about the full moon that triggered a wanderlust in her. By the time Katie turned four, she'd been found roaming the cornfields behind her home, the forest across the street, the cemetery at the end of the block, and the schoolyard close to town. 

Although Katie's mom was alarmed by this propensity of her daughter to solitary travels, eventually the mom knew Katie was independent enough to function well on her own, and smart enough to keep herself out of harm's way. So Katie's mom became extra vigilant at the time of the full moon, but generally trusted in Katie's own maturity to look after herself.

The problem was with the rest of the townfolk. People respond to this by becoming angry and upset. So one evening, as the full moon approached, Katie's next door neighbor reported her mom to child protective services. Katie's mom was taken to jail on charges of child neglect, and Katie herself was placed in a foster home for (as the authorities stated) "her own protection." The next night, under the light of the full moon, Katie ran off in search of her mother.  She is still missing, although her mom believes she wanders unharmed and they will eventually be reunited once she is released from jail.

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Some people are oblivious to their surroundings.
by CT

I tread the walkway of the Great Wall in China. Slowly, oh so slowly, I stroll, amazed and awed by the scenery and the workmanship of the stonework. 

I hear a voice, a man's voice, raised in anger and frustration. 

"What do you MEAN, the papers haven't been signed? You were supposed to sign and deliver them to the lawyer yesterday. This hoopla has to END! Do you HEAR me?"

I rounded a curve just in time to see him stumble over the low wall and disappear from sight. 

I peer over the wall, see the broken body sprawled below, call for help on my cell phone, and settle down to wait for the emergency crew's arrival. 

I muse "some people are oblivious to their surroundings."

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Everyone needs a pass with a photograph now.
by BG

Jeramy and Jeffrey were best friends. They did everything together. They lived with their families next door to each other in the same neighborhood. They were in the same class in the school just a few blocks away. And they played together after school, on weekends and on vacations. 

Their stomping grounds were their own back yards and the wonderful fields of woods of the local county park that backed up on the yards of all the houses on their block. 

There were all sorts of activities they discovered to keep themselves busy. They explored and they competed athletically. They made up stories and invented scenarios to act out. They built things to go along with those scenarios. They made pacts with each other and formed a secret club. 

This summer their imaginations went over the top. They had just finished third grade and had learned about Native American culture. Their project began the day school let out and by the end of July, they had completed a sweat lodge in the park, right out in the field. It truly was amazing. People from the neighborhood came to see it, then word of mouth spread news of their feat. Soon people came from miles around. 

At the end of August they announced that there would be a special event.  They put up posters and even had an ad in the paper. It was going to be very special and the information read "everyone needs a pass with a photograph now" to get in. 

All that arrived that day had obliged. The boys checked them all out, matching photos to faces and then arranging the whole group to get the best view of the lodge. But we will never know what they had planned as the lodge caught fire by spontaneous combustion before anything started.

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A poor diet can cause a dog to shed more.
by RMAF

Rapunzel could not contain her fright and horror any longer. She read in the dog magazine that a poor diet can cause a dog to shed more.  Since her "claim to fame" in the fairy tale was her beautiful, thick, long hair (a ladder for her hormonally active suitor), she found herself running as fast as she could to the nearest fruit and vegetable plantation for a nourishing vitamin and mineral packed dinner.