Session December 16, 2017

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The yacht, I realized when I arrived at the dock, was no yacht at all.

By CC

We met by night beneath the dinghy dock out by the roads, where the boats would heave and roll in the passing tides. Here, we decided the order of things for the next season’s food procurement and waste disposal, with a focus on maximizing our use of the bipeds’ habits and structures, because they were so helpful. Generally the young pelicans were assigned to sailboats in the roads, where they quickly honed their skills with intake and disposal. I had progressed through the ranks and had finally been assigned to the largest yacht in the largest marina in the district. In other words, I had risen to the top of the hierarchy. For a moment I was a little disconcerted. I was still young, and it didn’t seem quite right that I had risen so fast in the hierarchy. But still I was pleased and eager to assume my new post. But the yacht, I realized when I arrived at the dock, was no yacht at all. I felt a cold bath of shame wash over me as I looked at the little battered skiff with its single oar. They had singled me out for a nasty laugh at my expense. But I would show them. I hopped onto the skiff and did my best. On a neighboring boat, a small canine growled at me while a biped holding a beer rushed out waving his arms and shouting at me. It was too much. I attacked, and they retreated in a frenzy of fear. Suddenly it hit me: I could do this. I looked around at the marina and felt a surge of self-confidence. I could be the terror of this marina. And write a new chapter in the annals of pelican history. Bipeds would fear me. I’d make sure of that. And at the next general meeting, they wouldn’t dare make fun of me!

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A rich life exercises all parts of your mind.
by CG

It's a funny thing when we begin to use all of the parts of our brain. For some time I had been paying a therapist a healthy chunk of change to help me deal with some long-running depression I had been experiencing off and on for the last couple of decades. I couldn't understand what the purpose of my life how, nor how to find it. Last Wednesday, as I lay in bed with the covers over my face as usual, deciding whether I would get out of bed that day, I received a text  from my sister. Her father-in-law was in the hospital, and she would have to drop her 10 year old Dominic off with me to attend to him. I don't have any kids, I don't know anything about them, and I've got no "maternal instinct" to speak of. Never have. Nevertheless, as the curly-haired, plump child sat on my cluttered living room floor, he looked up at me with big eyes and all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of peace.

"Could you help me with my project at school?" he implored. "It's a mind map." Reluctantly, I started helping him come up with ideas to put on various sticky notes to link together, notes of affirmation. 

"Refuse to lose," I said, placing a note on the corner of the poster. 

"Yeah! Never give up," he chimed in.

It was then that it dawned on me, as we pieced together the mind map: A mind is not a singular thing...it's connected to all other minds. Indeed, a rich life exercises all parts of your mind. I have never been back to see my therapist since that day.

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In ancient times, the coinage of money was conducted and controlled by the priesthoods in obedience to their gods.
by JS

In ancient times, the coinage of money was conducted and controlled by the priesthoods in obedience to their gods. 

In our more modern times, the gods have changed, and so have their demands.

The fashionistas are now in control. And, as illustrated here, the prime goal is preserving those items produced by the high priests of fashion - this year, fashion-conscious cobblers are crating high-end footwear and charging astronomical prices. But these shoes are a must have, even for those in low income brackets.

What can be done to guarantee the investment's longevity? Enter the "Cobbler's Umbrella," priced at a very reasonable $6.99/each (not per pair) and available in almost every color of the rainbow (see Roy B. Giv), also plaids, checks, harlequin, and stripes.

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In all fairness to doctors, it's the system that's twisted.

by RMAF

Dr. Thurber Gugenheimer of International Kooks Anonymous invented an ancient head on a chain pendulum that he says is better than the latest GPS system invented. To prove his point, he'd spin the head as fast as he could and when the head stopped, he'd know exactly which way he should go.

Therefore, he has been going in circles and he stays dizzy much of the time! But he feels that it is okay with him because his girlfriend is a ditzy dizzy dame and they get along quite well.

In all fairness to Dr. Thurber Gugenheimer, it's his system that's twisted.