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| http://visboo.com/funny-dogs.html |
by RMAF
It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. I know I shouldn't have had sex with that stuffed toy pug dog but I couldn't control my doggie urges. He was so available, so cuddly, so cute and so warm! And I thought I heard him say that I was so cute!
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| environmentalgraffiti.com |
by PV
The party was over. Perhaps they had overdone it a bit. Thankfully the fireworks inside hadn't broken any windows. The heat had blistered the ceilings when the gravity had been increased and the whole cathedral edifice began its descent. The light was still good and most of the revelers were passed out outside. Viewed with horror by the populace trapped along with them in this descent to hell, they never regretted a moment of it, which surprised everyone. Had they no unforgivable sins?
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| herbmother.com |
recited by GS
reinterpreted via faulty memory by CC
The child had long ago begun to run free in the gardens. He explored every bush and the crops growing in rows, until of course the crops were fenced off. He was an adventurous eater, and had decimated pretty much everything his parents had tried to grow. Pretty soon he was reduced to scavenging in small side lots and secret patches. As there wasn't much foliage, he learned to nibble dirt. Pretty soon dirt seemed to become his favorite food. His parents did not know what to do with him. His father found it innovative. His mother was less sanguine but still perplexed. "He's not having any other problems, and I haven't found an acceptable alternative," she said.
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| ballybofeyandstranorlar.com |
By BG
Strange things were happening around him. It was so hard to not be able to participate in the activities he saw from his position. Even though he pointed and gestured and sometimes offered silent opinions, no one ever took time to notice any activity from his direction. He so wished he was somewhere else, somewhere like that Hogwarts Castle he'd heard whispers about, where it was recognized that all of the portraits had the ability to interact with the living inhabitants and help them make decisions. It wasn't fair, being stuck at the Vatican while all of the ambulatory gathered for a vote of some sort and no one even bothered to clue the portrait contingency in as to what all the commotion was about.
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| http://www.binau.com/Kent/blog/2009_03_01_archive.html |
by CC
"It wasn't my idea," squawked Alicia, flapping her wings and walking on tiptoe as if she were still wearing high heels. Since she had been turned into a turkey five years ago, life had become exponentially worse. Wendy, her former friend, her pretend friend, always kept an unnatural distance now. Don't tell me she's not reacting, thought Alicia angrily. Gobble! Gobble! she shouted before she could stop herself. Damn! It's like having Tourette's, she thought. "As I was saying," she began again, "this was not MY idea, as you know!" It was so hard to enunciate with this darn stubby tounge and the hideous beak. She spoke slowly and took long, elegant steps on her toes. "Yes, now I have slimmer legs and I'm a lot bustier, but I never wanted to be an actual bird." Wendy tutted from her position down the block. "Why don't you come closer, Wendy, I can't hear you half a block away! You act like you're embarrassed to be seen with me now!"
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| http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kissing_dogs_edit_Lycaon.jpg |
By TNT
Snacking is a full time occupation for chipmunks. Daryll and Daisy met and kissed their greetings as usual. They divided up the Cheetos while talking about Berty.
"Last time I saw him, he was turned into a pair of sandals."
"Oh, how awful! Tragic!"
"Yes, isn't it? Well, the Indians tanned leather by smoking it over old wood, very old, so old it had no sap left. It becomes tough enough to resist cactus spines and rattlesnake bites. It stays flexible and soft. And if you are hungry, you can eat your sandals like jerky."
"Well, it's not as good as Cheetos."
"Tata, Darling -See you later!"
Kiss, Kiss.
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by AD
As inconsequential as the whole experience might have been, I came to see it as a perfect opportunity. I still live with my Mother, and we have no money, a rotten cot, a little overgrown garden and a pig, but today I will change all of that. The Prince of Spain is having a bull run but with women as the bulls. We are to wear wedding dresses and caps with bull horns, and run a 50 mile race to his palace. He will marry the winner. It has been 48 miles in this race and even though I am a little supersized, as I put it, I ran a hell of a lot faster than the other women! A blond falls back and I take first place. The Prince walks out to me, pulls his hand on my head and says, This race was just a bunch of bull shit! Excuse me, I shout. He pulls the hat over my face and yells, April Fools, and runs off making Daffy Duck noises.
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