Session March 29 2014




http://www.art-spire.com/en/photographie/les-photo-montages-loufoques-de-lei-wi/

"Luther wasn't feeling at all well."
by CC

Akiko was irritated. She had had pets before; once she had a Pekingese that followed her everywhere. But this was entirely too much. She worked for a lawyer named Hiraku Moritani, and he was a punctual man. Every morning Akiko tried to sneak out of bed and dress soundlessly, hoping Luther wouldn't notice. But invariably he found a way to stop her from leaving. Oh, yes, she should feel sorry for him. But mostly he just irritated the crap out of her. So needy, so whiney, so aggressive. She hated to lie and was pretty sure that Moritani-san didn't believe her when she called in to say Luther wasn't feeling at all well. Luther was never sick! Of course all he could ever get was a head cold. Akiko was always irritated these days.

 


http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/11/the-unbelievable-and-impossible-photos-of-li-wei/

"Wind gusts shook the ladder as he climbed, but singing "Spanish Ladies" kept his courage up."

by TNT

He was a better man for all the strange stunts he had dared. He never allowed his face to be revealed to the press. When the journalist trapped him in a bookstore he buried his face in a pile of magazines until the journalist went away. He remembered the last daring exploit when wind gusts shook the ladder as he climbed the outside of the 37-story building, but singing "Spanish Ladies" kept his courage up. That of course and not looking down. He wore a mask until he got to the top and then climbed in an open window and, like an ordinary visitor, he took the elevator down. The press had filmed his climb but didn't know it was him when he emerged from the elevator. He looked anonymous, like everyone else, and mingled with the gawking crowd. He smiled to himself at his own cleverness.





http://blazecreationsphotography.com/f579242922



"When he opened the bag, hundreds of dragonflies flew out."
by RDC

Joseph handled the paper bag very carefully. He had given his last dollar for this "pig in a poke" gift bag at the county fair. Joseph had never, ever done such a thing before, not that he had no curiosity to see what was in them - his friend always had this one little game - but because he was a miser. Joseph's favorite saying was "a penny saved is a penny earned". But for some inscrutable reason, he had done it this time. Something inside told him that this bag was going to be special. Joseph also did not normally listen to such urgings from his Id - in fact, he didn't even believe in an Id. But, he was down to his last dollar and he didn't know what he could or would do from now on, without a job or any prospects. He was now one of those "homeless" people that others liked to make fun of, having been laid off two days earlier. So Joseph took his sack out to the open field where no-one else could overlook his discovery. And then he held his bag on his lap as he sat on a rock. When he opened the bag, hundreds of dragonflies flew out. Quicker than Joseph could imagine, several swallow-type birds began to gobble up the dragonflies. Joseph was both amazed and flustered at the same time. It was a great show, and yet, there went his last dollar on a whim!



"The girls were acting silly, so Jake left them alone."
by PV

It was lonely out here, orbiting alongside a stalled space probe. Where was a discussion as to where they were going to sell it when they got back to Earth? The antiquities police had stepped up their apprehensions of anyone seeking to capitalize on historical pieces of early exploration. Already someone had absconded with Neil Armstrongs flag planted on the Moon's surface. Jake found it hard to concentrate in the cubicle of his cabin. He had wanted to hunt more, but the silly ditty about my beautiful balloon was blasting through the walls. The girls were acting silly so he left them alone. Pygmies iin space could wait another day.

Session March 1, 2014

http://thewildsource.com/wild-places-safari.aspx

"Let's not be hasty," he said. "It's not all your fault."
by CC

Johnson Smith had dreamt of this day. Growing up in a Chicago tenement, he had long been possessd by the dream of wide open spaces and a don't fence me in attitude. He wore a cowboy hat and boots to high school, and his girlfriend, Betsy, had a pleasingly bovine disposition. One day they ran away from school and hopped a freight train to Billings, Montana. As they stepped off the train, a wizened, native shaman came up to them, nodding appreciatively at Besty. "That's one fine cow you've got there," he cackled, laughing as he walked away. Betsy was upset and so was Johnson, but the day was too beautiful to stay mad. A great meadow of long grasses, rimmed by majestic mountains, beckoned to them. Hand in hand they walked out into the plain, until Betsy pulled back and started stamping her feet. Suddenly she turned into a bull, snorting and pawing the earth. "Look at what he's done to me," she cried.  "Right," said Johnson. "You're not a cow at all." "I never should have skipped school," she bellowed. "Let's not be hasty," he said. "It's not all your fault.I wanted to go, too. And now we can start our herd!"

http://londoniscool.com/5-very-strange-places-to-take-a-date-in-london

"He had dissected frogs in biology class, but this? It was too much!"
by TNT

It was cold. The piano was made of stone. Whose idea was it to put that stone piano over his grave? He couldn't play it even if he wanted to, which he certainly didn't. Tombstones glittered in the moonlight all around him. Now the grave robbers were digging him up to cut him into pieces, for goodness sake! Was there no peace? He had dissected frogs in biology class, but this? It was too much. Was it his punishment for having died of asphyxiation by carbon monoxide in the garage after his violinist ran away with the tuba player?  Heaven was too far to go and Hell was playing a stone piano for an audience of tombstones.



http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/25/arts/design/mystery-of-a-nazi-photographer-solved-by-online-readers.html?_r=0

"Marion put her head in her hands and cried." by PV

She saw him off at the train station. There were a lot of people applauding. What if, what if, he had not gone to art school? What if he had ended up at a monastery, just think, Adolph might have gone all the way to Rome. And then the crusades would have been a success. She could even hear the tanks rolling through the Saracen lines. He would have been a leader anywhere. But what if his art work had been successful? Already she could see his universal motif of the happy face - oh, dear, isn't life strange? Marion put her head in her hands and cried.

http://www.greencountryshowcase.com/2013/11/traditional-unusual-restaurants-visit/

"He was suspicious of the intentions of the French."
by BG

Chan was retiring and wanted to move out of the city to someplace more peaceful and scenic. He searched the Internet for hours and hours, and finally decided on a company to assist him in his move. The name of the firm was a bit unusual - "Joie d'Vivre" - but he did think that they would be a good fit for finding the right spot for him. A thinking outside the box type of company! So he explained what he wanted: a compact home, lots of windows, modern amenities and he wanted it located perhaps near the seaside or in the country and above all he must have a view. He wanted to see far and wide from all those windows. So he took the next step, contracted "Joie d'Vivre" and waited. Several months later they notified him that it was almost ready. They sent a car for him, and as they drove up to the house, he gasped. After all that research he had never had second thoughts, and now he found he was suspicious of the intentions of the French.

Session March 15, 2014



"Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try."
by BG

The voyage had started out wonderfully: a true adventure of a lifetime! There were years of careful planning and calculating, scrimping and saving, and finally the time had come. After all aspects had been considered, the date was chosen and they weighed anchor. The weather was perfect - calm water and clear skies. Excitement was in the air. They approached the longitude and latitude they had agreed upon, but found nothing on the horizon. What was amiss? Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try. They set their sights a few degrees to starboard and increased the speed a few knots. Soon they were successful. Full speed ahead, batten down the hatches and fire those cannons! Their lifetime dream of a pirate attack became a reality.



http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_727_17-photographs-from-history-that-would-explain-everything/

"Wow," said Marlene. "You amaze me time and again."
 by PV

Yes, yes. I know we all thought a group of skinny, splintery Druids made Stonehenge for their indestructible calendar. But really, my dear boy, did you have to create such an apparition of the actual deed? You will  set back thousands of years of carefully crafted Druidic traditions presided over by that personification of wisdom residing in many ancient beings. Yes, I know we are ready for a change but you are sending us back to galloping, flying cherubs. Honestly, how can we ever be serious? Marlene stamps her feet before the smiling Buddha-like baby sitting in the manger. "Wow," said Marlene. "You amaze me time and again."



http://horrorsnotdead.com/wpress/2011/the-chronicles-of-horror-movie-night-demon-wind-1990/

"They both brought umbrellas and felt more secure with them."
by CC

Doug bought the Little Debbies at his neighborhood Safeway. Well, it was fate, pure and simple. He never asked why he was lucky customer #49 who got the tainted package of junk food. He accepted his fate, and fortunately so did his elderly sister Lorna, though he suspected that was due to her blindness. But she could hear just fine, and when the green ooze had started pouring out from his eyes and lips, congealing on his face like mounds of nutty peanut butter, she heard him bellowing in surprise and consternation. She was the first person to get zapped by the electromagnetic rays that crackled out from the palms of his hands. Fortunately, his developing powers were still weak, and she wasn't badly hurt, though the book case into which she had been flung was considerably disarrayed. Picking herself up from the floor, she said, "Doug, it's not like you to be so energetic. I fear something is wrong."  "Hunggh, Hunghhaba, ba ba ga," said Doug. "That's it," said Lorna. "We're taking you to the doctor." She headed for the door, then stopped. "I hear rain. Is it raining, Doug?" "Unghh gubaba," said Doug. "Well, something tells me you won't like getting wet," she told him. She went to the front door and rummaged around. When they went out, they both brought umbrellas, and felt more secure with them.

http://www.topdesignmag.com/incredible-photos-moments/

"The question hung over them like a loaded pistol."
by RMAF

The question hung over them like a loaded pistol. What was the blankety-blank idiotic captain of this ship doing when he smashed into the dock??

http://stuffkit.com/amazing-mixed-up-photographs-from-around-the-world.htm

"The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them."
by TNT

The man held the globe of the full moon over the city as if he let it go it might crash and explode. The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them. But the man held up the full moon in defiance. If the Sultan didn't renounce his bogus claims - yes - he would let go of the moon and it would destroy the city and all civilization. "It's either THAT or quit trying to bully and push us around!" he told the Sultan. The Sultan sighed and woke up from his empirical dream. He certainly didn't wish to argue with a man that could hold up the moon.

Session February 15 2014

http://claudiaretter.com/mysteries-spirit/

"No more eggs," he told her angrily. "I am sick of eggs!"
by PV

Fafnir wondered what the Good Mother had prepared for breakfast. Yesterday had been a nightmare. His log trencher had been filled with the most ghastly assemblage. The Roc egg shells were still riding like the little peoples' ships  in a sea of predigested plunder. It had been too much and he had roared. "No more eggs," he told her angrily. "I am sick of eggs!" And then his mother showed hurt and chagrin, her eyes became milky and hooded over and a few drops of sulfurous acid leaked from those really most remarkable dragon eyes. Ah well, a sensitive and dutiful son must distract a distraught mother first, and apologize afterwards. So he reminded mama of the hilarious incident they had in the past while trying to down a paté of jellyfish. So he eyed warily the poison plums in the bowl.

http://lightbox.time.com/2013/12/09/most-surprising-photos-of-2013/#1

"Never before had anyone taken such a dangerous course of action."
by RMAF

It is said when you begin physical exercise to start out slow and build your way up by adding a little more exercise to your routine every day. But not for "Porky" P.U. Pigalopus. He was determined to lose those 300 pounds he put on "with the boys" while drinking beers, eating fried chicken, breaded cheese sticks and pizza while watching sports on TV. Never before had anyone taken such a dangerous course of action. Bare footed, bare bellied, bare chested and bare headed, he made up his own challenge exercise. He hid out by the roller coaster at the Amusement Park all night long. At sunrise, when no one was looking, he scaled the Giant Zipper Dipper to the very top. Then he made a major mistake. He looked down! There on the ground he saw some workers the size of ants. They were all yelling "Come down!" He would if he could, but he couldn't - he was too afraid of heights. Then he heard his wife's voice. "Porky, come down from there, now! I'll make you your comfort food favorites - cold ice cream, hot grilled double-decker sandwiches, french fries and Coca Cola!" So he slid down faster than he went up, and everyone cheered. He thought, I'll start another exercise regimen tomorrow...




http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/radio4/posts/in_our_time_the_measurement_of

"She dug frantically through her purse for the missing ticket."
By BG

Mr. Schwartzenmuller was almost finished with this last timepiece. He had been working nonstop for the last 5 weeks completing the order. He was so pleased at making the deadline. A few more finishing touches, then he would let his apprentice, Franz, pick them up and deliver them all. He would be ready to go, then. He'd hang up his work jacket, stow away the last few tools and then duck into the little lavatory at the back of the work shop to wash up a bit. Then he would be ready. Mrs. Schwartzenmuller was on her way to the shop to pick him up. It was a special day. She had dressed carefully, making sure she would look her best. There would probably be photos taken. She'd left enough time so they would not have to rush if there were traffic delays. As she arrived, she greeted Franz. He congratulated her and went back to the let the boss know she was there. Suddenly she remembered the ticket - where was the ticket? They would not award the lottery winnings without it. She dug frantically in her purse for the missing ticket.

http://www.topdesignmag.com/incredible-photos-moments/

"Lucy saw the UFO out her bedroom window."

by CC

Lucy saw the UFO out her bedroom window. "Holy Cow," she said to herself, looking up from the table where she had been writing in her journal. Outside, the UFO sparkled in the inky depths of the night sky. It called to her. She felt a tingling in her blood, then suddenly a voice spoke in her head.  "Meet us at the top of Mt. Everest at high noon on July 24th," it commanded. Her mouth dropped open. She stood up, dazed, and crossed the room. It was impossible! She was 30 pounds overweight, had high blood pressure and worked at a retail pharmacy, making so little money that her credit cards had maxed out on necessary expenses. "DO IT," the voice shouted, echoing through her skull. She flung herself on her bed, crying. She didn't know how, but she would obey the UFO's commands. So it came to pass that 6 months later Lucy was walking along a precipice on the way to summiting Mt. Everest with 2 Sherpa guides. She had applied for 6 more credit cards and maxed them all out buying climbing gear, plane tickets, hiring guides and paying for her food and rent, because she quit her job to begin intensively working out in order to get fit enough for the climb. Now, at the top of Everest, her gamble paid off. The UFO appeared then dipped down low, and extended a small ladder. She climbed up and into the craft, and they sped off towards the Pleiades. Her guides headed back to camp, grumbling. They would take the rap for this. They'd have to make up some story about her falling.

Session February 1 2014



http://www.commoncraft.com/china-week-strange-translations

“Less is more, she told him with a smirk.”

By AD

“Help protect the cultural relics, help protect the railings,” Azula read on the sign in bold red lettering. A smug look crossed her face; she was lost in thought. “Why do people try so hard to protect this?” Azula was a member of a group of atheist assassins and terrorists, whose goal was to kill all religious leaders and destroy sacred buildings. Though it wasn’t known, it was their leader who was behind the assassination of Gandhi. Their goal today was to destroy a Buddhist temple. She climbed over the gate with her partner and set out for the Buddhist sacred shrine. She gazed at is as they approached. It was a statue of the stereotypical Buddha: A fat, happy, bald man with tranquil eyes and a joyful, wan smile. The statue was made of silver and adorned with gems. On his belly was a swastika – not the one used by Hitler, but the true one – Swa Asta Ca, ones with life and soul. She wondered what the words meant. As she gazed at the figure in its splendor something in her changed. She wanted serenity, she wanted peace, and she wanted forgiveness. Her partner was trying to loosen the statue so they could topple it. “Less is more,” she told him with a smirk, and plunged a blade in his back. She dragged his body away from the holy figure and cast it away. Twelve months passed. She was now a Hindu, a Christian, a Muslim, cleansed of her past sins for the first time in her life. She was happy. Then she died in a car accident. Later, her brother was happy to greet her as she walked through the golden gates.




http://ankaberger.blogspot.com/2011/03/himalaya-reloaded-2011-15th-day-phortse.html

“They were both unwell but didn’t want to admit it.”
By RC

It had been a very long, hard trek. They had not fully conceived on starting out the level of difficulty involved, and now it was beginning to tell. Besides all the other natural difficulties of getting themselves and three mules down the steep, winding grades of the gorge, they had this additional problem: They were both unwell, but did not want to admit it. Peter had begun this trip with a mild head cold – one that he could easily ignore. Joe had awakened that day with a headache. Not your garden variety headache, but a real whanger. He felt that someone had been beating him with a cane while he slept. But he was not about to admit defeat and put off his trip with Peter. They had planned too well and had made too many sacrifices to stop now. They were going to get to the mine, and they were going to dig out the gold that he knew was there, and they were going to strike it rich – or die trying. And that was that. So on they went, cursing the mules each time they balked at a particularly difficult turn. Perhaps that is why they didn’t notice the slight, oh-so-slight gap in the trail where some of the rocks and soil had fallen down the slope. Joe was riding on the lead mule while Peter brought up the rear, and he could not understand why the dumb animal would not continue. It was not the mule which put its foot down in the spot where the ground had slipped away, but Joe. Yet his hold on the reins of the mule assured the fatal accident which meant that he would never see the gold he so longed for, and had invested everything to acquire.



http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/06/11/12163199-help-sought-to-solve-civil-war-photo-mystery?lite

“No more wine, he told himself. He would stick with whiskey.
by PV

Theodore Moreston opened the miniature with shaking white-gloved hands. Even before he did so he had a bittersweet foreboding. Clicked open, it revealed a picture of his great  grandmother, Eloise, when she was 6 years of age during the Civil War. He knew this – he knew with a gut-wrenching intensity. His dream last night, before sorting through his grandmother’s estate, had led him here. He even remembered the sounds of Sherman’s assault on Atlanta shortly after. The screaming outside had rattled through the studio windows as the photographer  dutifully bundled up the plates to be developed later. His grandmother had said it was chaotic. No more wine, he told himself. He would stick with whiskey.



http://designyoutrust.com/inspirations/friday-photography-inspiration-53-machoarts/

“Skeptical by nature, he kicked it, sure it was a fake.”

By CC

Ted learned to walk when he was a tadpole. Other frogs tittered when he tottered by, but he didn’t care. They said, behind his back, that his grandmother had human blood – which was a terrible insult – but Ted was oblivious. He just walked on, striding over lily pads, tripping across the tops of logs, mincing over mudflats. One day when he was much older, he set out across a wide field where cows had been grazing. He came upon a large mound on the grass. What could this be? He heard a cow moo. But – this couldn’t be that? Could it? Skeptical by nature, he kicked it, sure it was a fake. Bam! His foot sunk in. Hey, it was warm! But it was disgusting too. He hopped down and headed back to the pond, shaking his foot and dragging it over the grass as he went. What a day. Too bad nobody would believe him.



http://www.fws.gov/refuges/refugeupdate/julaug_2012/Q&A.html

“I have a terrible earache, she told the doctor.”

By TT

The birds landed on the backyard and looked at him as though they expected something from him. He went out from the screen porch. The door banged behind him. He expected the sound of the banging door to fluster or displease them. It did not. He walked carefully through them trying not to step on them. They were picking at feathers and waddling around quietly. They looked at him as if he were their leader or a zookeeper. Where did they come from? Why didn’t they fly off? Finally he sat down on a rock among them and smiled for the camera.  His daughter had set up the camera to photograph them with her father. She wanted to send the photo to the newspapers and also to find out what kind of birds they were. But yesterday she said, “I have a terrible earache, I told the doctor.” The noise of the squawking birds bothered her, he supposed. It didn’t bother him. He was deaf. And all the bird guano was going to be great for his garden, so he didn’t mind.



http://listverse.com/2013

“He hadn’t felt well since they ate dinner the night before.”

By LD

Suddenly feeling as though there was a transition taking place, the peacefulness of the land begins to become the most important value of experience. A deep desire to breathe and lift his arms upwards in a gentle formation was a sensation that allowed him to deal with his rapidly changing body alignment. Although he hadn’t felt well since they ate dinner the night before, he was pleased with his decision to go out to the desert to experience this Extraterrestrial event.

Session January 18, 2014

http://reelfoto.blogspot.com/2011/07/edward-s-curtis-first-americans.html

"She felt judged, and she didn't like it one bit."
by PV

Ever since she put the Ancestors' basket on her head, she felt judged and she didn't like it one bit. There was so much jabbering, you'd think after all those years of being dead they'd have sorted it out. Maybe death as a hermit would be better, and she would only be listening to wind in the reeds, the creaking of pine branches and the slurping sounds of the waters on clay rich shores. If this was the stir she created standing by the town's central tower, what might they say if she were to stroll down the causeway in Kabul's airport? Talk about culture shock to the spirits! Mohammed had it easy.



http://designbeep.com/2012/05/15/10-flickr-groups-for-vintage-photography-inspiration/

"Warren threw his cap against the wall in frustration."
by LJD

Josh announced with a lisp, "The glee festival is next week in L.A. and I will NOT go looking like a fool!" Warren, always feeling like the last to know anything, threw his cap against the wall in frustration, saying "I was on my knees this morning praying 'Jesus use me.' Well, am I invited or not? We can take a trip to the beauty supply to buy wigs and go as something like - how about "The Faith Tones?"  After Josh, Warren and Zack took a trip to the beauty supply they experienced a beautiful conversion, and began to laugh as they looked in the mirror. Those 3 big smiles completed their transformation into a very beliveable religious singing group.

http://www.screenjunkies.com

"It will never be the right time, so why wait?"
by BG

It will never be the right time, so why wait? Higby had dreamt of being able to just go right up to a total stranger who just happened to be in the area minding their own business. Would it be OK to ask permission to get together to make a spur of the moment memento of this fine day at the park? Being in the same place at the same time just had to mean it was destined to happen. Would it be OK to ask "Why are you at the park today?" Hopefully, yes. So Higby took a deep breath, mustered up as much courge as possible, motioned to his photographer, shuffled over to the blonde, and asked, "Can I have my photo taken with you?"

http://www.royalcollection.org.uk/event/exhibition-talk-for-groups-the-queen-60-photographs-for-60-years

"She didn't even care that they were wet."
by TNT

Mrs. Higgins Hat and the Fish
It was a fine day for sitting in the park and feeding the fish in the little pond. She wore her flowered dress and a plaid coat. On her head was her father's bowler had and her husband's broad-shaded working hat. That's the way she kept them - one over - one under - to fit over her hairdo, which was monumental under the hats. She didn't like her hair to blow around or hairs to fall over her ears. She watched the fish and fed them tiny crumbs. They swarmed up and over the banks to nibble her offerings. As she looked up, the fish made a pattern in the sky. They swam neatly. She liked seeing the fish up there. She didn't even care if they were wet. They roared above her. My goodness! Fishing in the sky was the next thing to do. She would get a fishing pole from her closet. Her father and husband had left one there. She would get those roaring little fish down and eat them for dinner.

http://www.geoffreyrickaby.com/photography/oshkosh-photography-group-%E2%80%93-first-national-bank-photo-shoot-extended

"Then the storm blew out all the lights."
by CC

Millie was a good shot, and she had been thinking about whom to shoot since noon. Would it be Arturo, who stole her paycheck, or Geraldo, who stood her up? She decided to shoot both of them. Just then a squawk from her weather alert radio advised her that a tornado was bearing down on town. Time to get busy. She went out to the curb where the old Pinto was nestled next to a fire hydrant. She scraped the parking tickets off the windshield and into the gutter, then climbed into the car and took off. On the freeway she could see the tornado approaching so she sped up, weaving between cars, until she reached the offramp and pulled into the parking lot of the Whiskey Jug tavern. She went in, looking for either Arturo or Geraldo, but they were both at the bar, drinking. They turned to look at her with expressions of shock and dismay. She aimed her pistol carefully, then the storm blew out all the lights. That's all it took to ruin her aim, and give both men a chance to race out of the bar. Millie watched the men get picked up by the tornado. They were swirling around in the air with the Pinto. She smiled and poured herself a drink.

http://izismile.com/tags/strange+trees/

"Moonlight fell on them in a misty blue glow."
by RMAF

Nobody would believe me, but in the early evening moonlight fell on the trees in a misty blue glow and strange things happened. As soon as all the hikers left that part of the forest, all the trees down in the hollow began to sing their repertoir of tree songs - It's Apple Blossom Time, Tom Dooley, September Song, Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me, Autumn Leaves, I Love Paris in Springtime.

Session January 4 2014

http://longstreet.typepad.com/books/2010/12/when-.html

"They demand and receive total obedience."
by PV

Either something was completely awry, or I was witnessing an unprecedented conclave. Someone was minding the kitchen for sure and after that hiatus the maestroes would enter and put the finishing touches on the culinary delights being served in the heart of the bush to the King and Queen in celebration of their gracing the outback with their presence. From their relaxed stances in this photograph it was obvious to us, with regard to the cooks, that they demand and receive total obedience.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1198572/Find-odd-place-lie-face--Is-pointless-internet-craze-yet.html

"She anointed the Cherub and then had second thoughts."
by CC

Valerie had gone out for a walk. The season was turning and it was a little brisk outside, but she never minded the chill. It was the Cherub that had her worried. She thought about the Cherub incessantly. It upset her so much that she had taken to drinking, eating chips and then suspending herself over path markers until she burped. Once she burped, things always seemed so much better. One day she came home and went to the closet where the Cherub lived. It glowered at her from the birdcage in which she kept it. But today was the big day. She took the cage out of the closet, causing the Cherub to rub its eyes and blink. She opened the cage and took it out, setting in on a tufted ottoman. Taking a vial of peppermint oil from a nearby drawer, she anointed the Cherub and then had second thoughts as it suddenly grew 8 feet tall and hit its head on the ceiling, knocking itself out. When it fell, it broke Valerie's favorite lamp.

http://www.iup.edu/page.aspx?id=110230

"She opened the door and found a large praying mantis looking in at her."
By RMAF

The States 1-1-2014. In Colorado, Legalization of Marijuana.
It's bad enough seeing a large praying mantis but after attending a festive celebration of the Merry Weed party, I was not smoking the drug but my fellow pot smokers were blowing it all over the enclosed room. I was a second hand smoker, and that was enough for me. I went into the bathroom to throw up the lousy, greasy marijuana-laced cookies. When I opened the bathroom door, I saw two large praying mantis' dressed up in freaky Dance of the Dead costumes. I screeched in horror "Oh my God! What Pandora's box have the pot-smoking law-passers just opened up for nearly anyone to try?"