Session March 29 2014




http://www.art-spire.com/en/photographie/les-photo-montages-loufoques-de-lei-wi/

"Luther wasn't feeling at all well."
by CC

Akiko was irritated. She had had pets before; once she had a Pekingese that followed her everywhere. But this was entirely too much. She worked for a lawyer named Hiraku Moritani, and he was a punctual man. Every morning Akiko tried to sneak out of bed and dress soundlessly, hoping Luther wouldn't notice. But invariably he found a way to stop her from leaving. Oh, yes, she should feel sorry for him. But mostly he just irritated the crap out of her. So needy, so whiney, so aggressive. She hated to lie and was pretty sure that Moritani-san didn't believe her when she called in to say Luther wasn't feeling at all well. Luther was never sick! Of course all he could ever get was a head cold. Akiko was always irritated these days.

 


http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/11/the-unbelievable-and-impossible-photos-of-li-wei/

"Wind gusts shook the ladder as he climbed, but singing "Spanish Ladies" kept his courage up."

by TNT

He was a better man for all the strange stunts he had dared. He never allowed his face to be revealed to the press. When the journalist trapped him in a bookstore he buried his face in a pile of magazines until the journalist went away. He remembered the last daring exploit when wind gusts shook the ladder as he climbed the outside of the 37-story building, but singing "Spanish Ladies" kept his courage up. That of course and not looking down. He wore a mask until he got to the top and then climbed in an open window and, like an ordinary visitor, he took the elevator down. The press had filmed his climb but didn't know it was him when he emerged from the elevator. He looked anonymous, like everyone else, and mingled with the gawking crowd. He smiled to himself at his own cleverness.





http://blazecreationsphotography.com/f579242922



"When he opened the bag, hundreds of dragonflies flew out."
by RDC

Joseph handled the paper bag very carefully. He had given his last dollar for this "pig in a poke" gift bag at the county fair. Joseph had never, ever done such a thing before, not that he had no curiosity to see what was in them - his friend always had this one little game - but because he was a miser. Joseph's favorite saying was "a penny saved is a penny earned". But for some inscrutable reason, he had done it this time. Something inside told him that this bag was going to be special. Joseph also did not normally listen to such urgings from his Id - in fact, he didn't even believe in an Id. But, he was down to his last dollar and he didn't know what he could or would do from now on, without a job or any prospects. He was now one of those "homeless" people that others liked to make fun of, having been laid off two days earlier. So Joseph took his sack out to the open field where no-one else could overlook his discovery. And then he held his bag on his lap as he sat on a rock. When he opened the bag, hundreds of dragonflies flew out. Quicker than Joseph could imagine, several swallow-type birds began to gobble up the dragonflies. Joseph was both amazed and flustered at the same time. It was a great show, and yet, there went his last dollar on a whim!



"The girls were acting silly, so Jake left them alone."
by PV

It was lonely out here, orbiting alongside a stalled space probe. Where was a discussion as to where they were going to sell it when they got back to Earth? The antiquities police had stepped up their apprehensions of anyone seeking to capitalize on historical pieces of early exploration. Already someone had absconded with Neil Armstrongs flag planted on the Moon's surface. Jake found it hard to concentrate in the cubicle of his cabin. He had wanted to hunt more, but the silly ditty about my beautiful balloon was blasting through the walls. The girls were acting silly so he left them alone. Pygmies iin space could wait another day.

Session March 1, 2014

http://thewildsource.com/wild-places-safari.aspx

"Let's not be hasty," he said. "It's not all your fault."
by CC

Johnson Smith had dreamt of this day. Growing up in a Chicago tenement, he had long been possessd by the dream of wide open spaces and a don't fence me in attitude. He wore a cowboy hat and boots to high school, and his girlfriend, Betsy, had a pleasingly bovine disposition. One day they ran away from school and hopped a freight train to Billings, Montana. As they stepped off the train, a wizened, native shaman came up to them, nodding appreciatively at Besty. "That's one fine cow you've got there," he cackled, laughing as he walked away. Betsy was upset and so was Johnson, but the day was too beautiful to stay mad. A great meadow of long grasses, rimmed by majestic mountains, beckoned to them. Hand in hand they walked out into the plain, until Betsy pulled back and started stamping her feet. Suddenly she turned into a bull, snorting and pawing the earth. "Look at what he's done to me," she cried.  "Right," said Johnson. "You're not a cow at all." "I never should have skipped school," she bellowed. "Let's not be hasty," he said. "It's not all your fault.I wanted to go, too. And now we can start our herd!"

http://londoniscool.com/5-very-strange-places-to-take-a-date-in-london

"He had dissected frogs in biology class, but this? It was too much!"
by TNT

It was cold. The piano was made of stone. Whose idea was it to put that stone piano over his grave? He couldn't play it even if he wanted to, which he certainly didn't. Tombstones glittered in the moonlight all around him. Now the grave robbers were digging him up to cut him into pieces, for goodness sake! Was there no peace? He had dissected frogs in biology class, but this? It was too much. Was it his punishment for having died of asphyxiation by carbon monoxide in the garage after his violinist ran away with the tuba player?  Heaven was too far to go and Hell was playing a stone piano for an audience of tombstones.



http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/25/arts/design/mystery-of-a-nazi-photographer-solved-by-online-readers.html?_r=0

"Marion put her head in her hands and cried." by PV

She saw him off at the train station. There were a lot of people applauding. What if, what if, he had not gone to art school? What if he had ended up at a monastery, just think, Adolph might have gone all the way to Rome. And then the crusades would have been a success. She could even hear the tanks rolling through the Saracen lines. He would have been a leader anywhere. But what if his art work had been successful? Already she could see his universal motif of the happy face - oh, dear, isn't life strange? Marion put her head in her hands and cried.

http://www.greencountryshowcase.com/2013/11/traditional-unusual-restaurants-visit/

"He was suspicious of the intentions of the French."
by BG

Chan was retiring and wanted to move out of the city to someplace more peaceful and scenic. He searched the Internet for hours and hours, and finally decided on a company to assist him in his move. The name of the firm was a bit unusual - "Joie d'Vivre" - but he did think that they would be a good fit for finding the right spot for him. A thinking outside the box type of company! So he explained what he wanted: a compact home, lots of windows, modern amenities and he wanted it located perhaps near the seaside or in the country and above all he must have a view. He wanted to see far and wide from all those windows. So he took the next step, contracted "Joie d'Vivre" and waited. Several months later they notified him that it was almost ready. They sent a car for him, and as they drove up to the house, he gasped. After all that research he had never had second thoughts, and now he found he was suspicious of the intentions of the French.

Session March 15, 2014



"Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try."
by BG

The voyage had started out wonderfully: a true adventure of a lifetime! There were years of careful planning and calculating, scrimping and saving, and finally the time had come. After all aspects had been considered, the date was chosen and they weighed anchor. The weather was perfect - calm water and clear skies. Excitement was in the air. They approached the longitude and latitude they had agreed upon, but found nothing on the horizon. What was amiss? Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try. They set their sights a few degrees to starboard and increased the speed a few knots. Soon they were successful. Full speed ahead, batten down the hatches and fire those cannons! Their lifetime dream of a pirate attack became a reality.



http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_727_17-photographs-from-history-that-would-explain-everything/

"Wow," said Marlene. "You amaze me time and again."
 by PV

Yes, yes. I know we all thought a group of skinny, splintery Druids made Stonehenge for their indestructible calendar. But really, my dear boy, did you have to create such an apparition of the actual deed? You will  set back thousands of years of carefully crafted Druidic traditions presided over by that personification of wisdom residing in many ancient beings. Yes, I know we are ready for a change but you are sending us back to galloping, flying cherubs. Honestly, how can we ever be serious? Marlene stamps her feet before the smiling Buddha-like baby sitting in the manger. "Wow," said Marlene. "You amaze me time and again."



http://horrorsnotdead.com/wpress/2011/the-chronicles-of-horror-movie-night-demon-wind-1990/

"They both brought umbrellas and felt more secure with them."
by CC

Doug bought the Little Debbies at his neighborhood Safeway. Well, it was fate, pure and simple. He never asked why he was lucky customer #49 who got the tainted package of junk food. He accepted his fate, and fortunately so did his elderly sister Lorna, though he suspected that was due to her blindness. But she could hear just fine, and when the green ooze had started pouring out from his eyes and lips, congealing on his face like mounds of nutty peanut butter, she heard him bellowing in surprise and consternation. She was the first person to get zapped by the electromagnetic rays that crackled out from the palms of his hands. Fortunately, his developing powers were still weak, and she wasn't badly hurt, though the book case into which she had been flung was considerably disarrayed. Picking herself up from the floor, she said, "Doug, it's not like you to be so energetic. I fear something is wrong."  "Hunggh, Hunghhaba, ba ba ga," said Doug. "That's it," said Lorna. "We're taking you to the doctor." She headed for the door, then stopped. "I hear rain. Is it raining, Doug?" "Unghh gubaba," said Doug. "Well, something tells me you won't like getting wet," she told him. She went to the front door and rummaged around. When they went out, they both brought umbrellas, and felt more secure with them.

http://www.topdesignmag.com/incredible-photos-moments/

"The question hung over them like a loaded pistol."
by RMAF

The question hung over them like a loaded pistol. What was the blankety-blank idiotic captain of this ship doing when he smashed into the dock??

http://stuffkit.com/amazing-mixed-up-photographs-from-around-the-world.htm

"The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them."
by TNT

The man held the globe of the full moon over the city as if he let it go it might crash and explode. The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them. But the man held up the full moon in defiance. If the Sultan didn't renounce his bogus claims - yes - he would let go of the moon and it would destroy the city and all civilization. "It's either THAT or quit trying to bully and push us around!" he told the Sultan. The Sultan sighed and woke up from his empirical dream. He certainly didn't wish to argue with a man that could hold up the moon.