Session May 18 2013

http://jetsetta.com/travel/utterly-unusual-vending-machines-of-asia/

"On the distant horizon the erupting volcano was barely visible to us."
by RMAF

On the distant horizon the erupting volcano was barely visible to us. We knew the hot lava was coming because the highly intelligent robotic coca cola machine stood up and began walking away from the volcanic eruption. We all followed the robot hoping it would know the way to safety.

http://www.aquiziam.com/strange-places-people-live.html

"I said to myself: "what ought a boy to do who has stolen a green watermelon?"
by PV

You get a lot of unanswered questions spending time on an offshore platform. We are a pretty close-knit bunch, each of us for the most part adept at scooting around each others' idiosyncracies - so, one night we talked about stealing, everying from snatching a sister's life savers off her dresser, to grand theft. It is paradoxical that a strange sort of approval follows anything grand in scale, however heinous. So here I was, staring at the bright moon in a gigantic melon patch, luscious globes everywhere. And I said to myself, "What ought a boy to do who has stolen a green watermelon?" I remembed what an older (much older) friend, who had a melon patch, once said: "You know, stolen fruit tastes best." So I ate the melon.

http://blog.rampantphoto.com/post/659821600/years-ago-before-i-really-got-into-photography-a

"Now, yes, I have a ten thousand times worse decision to make."
by TT

"I'm the one. I ordered the forest to be turned into chipboard and more softee tissues. I am CEO of the large corporate conglomerate that manufactures many products using timber. We have almost taken all the trees out of the Northwest and the Southwest of the U.S. We buy raw material from Japan who exploit islands and large areas in Indonesia. Many animals have gone extinct because of the devastation. I made billions of dollars and gave quite a few jobs away to big machinery. Loss of habitat, loss of jobs. Now, yes, I have a ten thousand times worse decision to make. Climate change is my favorite hobby - disasters in particular fascinate me. I enjoy reading the newspaper about them and imagining how desperation affects these people. This is my own little hellish perversion.

http://www.tweakwindows.nl/wallpapers/animals/4732/Eekhoorn.html

"Staring at my reflection."
by CC

I'm staring at my reflection and liking it. It suits me, this full-cheeked gravitas. Greed is good, or so I hear. But pretty soon I've got to let it all go. Can I, though?  It's so tempting to just hang on to it all. I wish someone would take my picture like this. I'd like to hang a copy of it in my hole. Mrs. Munk would be impressed. Tail, up! I look sort of Chinese this way, don't you think?

http://www.foodandwine.com/slideshows/andrew-zimmern-wild-seafood-adventures\

"I saw a nuisance that I was trying to learn to respect."
by AD

I saw a nuisance that I was trying to learn to respect. I saw a man born on these islands when I went there for a fishing trip. The man's name was Vega, or "Bright Star." He looks to the moon and stars for hours on end and takes up the strength and skills of animals. The raw power of a bear, the eye of a hawk, he swims in the extremely powerful ocean currents with the ease of a sea lion. His skill is amazing and he should pass down his skills to the next generation, but I wish he would stop stealing the fish off my line for his dinner. What he had eaten off my line could have given me a day's worth of California Rolls.

weird_stuff_cool_crazy_offbeat_only_in_africa_200907241502163503.jpg

"I've learned not to fight to be right"
by GS

I had a feeling there were too many of us to make it to the picnic in Marvin's old pickup, but they were determined to try anyway! When the truck's frame broke loudly we all cheered. I've learned not to fight to be right.

Session: May 4, 2013



http://andrewtheplanner.blogspot.com/2007/10/unusual-things-on-wikipedia.html

 This morning his pleasure was laced with nostalgia.
By CC

Jared Peabottom could never do anything right, but when his mother's house sank into the ground, he smirked. This one wasn't his fault. His conscience was clear, and he felt good. Of course this morning he had broken his windshield with his dentures - not many could manage that, he thought ruefully, suddenly embarrassed by his toothless smile. Inside, he could hear the old bat squawking angrily as she climbed over her furniture towards the door. He was glad the house was gone, as now his whole sordid life history could be razed to the ground. Yet - there were some good times, too. He remembered holding the cat under the water in the grand old clawfooted bath tub. Now, that was nice. This morning his pleasure was laced with nostalgia.

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/avril-lavigne/images/7087805/title/avril-lavignes-unusual-photoshot-photo

"Then, in a flash of decision, the answer came to him."
by PV

Then, in a flash of decision, the answer came to him. I've treated her badly. Her neglect was all the more abject than her scattered companions - they had retired into the indifferent neglect so common to their species once their mistresses were drawn away by real world distractions and the business of growing up. She still had the indrawn breath of 'what have I done, how did I fail, was I not there all the time, accepting in his moments of rage and laughter? Oh, why was I ever made with more than sawdust for brains?' She was not alone in this question put by so many that she envied - who were really in the same state when their carefully arranged supports fell away. I began to wash her face of the miniscule tears which had gathered there.

http://www.leisuremartini.com/die/

"So did they then think up between them the full details of an alibi?"
by GS

I knew I could not just pretend that everything was OK. If I failed my creative writing class I would probably be expelled since I was already on academic probation after last semester's abysmal grades. Throwing myself at the professor's feet, I begged for mercy. She hesitated momentarily, then hustled me to her car and we drove off together. She offered me a deal: I would help murder her husband, and she would change my grade from F to B+. I hesitated only a moment. I knew her husband was a real SOB who abused his employees, so had no real compunctions about luring him to his death. It went off without a hitch and she shot him behind the county dump where I had convinced him to come. When the police started questioning everyone, we were ready. We had arranged for our alibis in full detail so they corroborated each other. We felt very safe until the police discovered my changed grade. When they read my assignments they knew I did not deserve a B+ so they kept digging until it all blew apart. Our abili was disproved and we are awaiting trial. At least I now have lots of time to practice creative writing.

http://laughpls.blogspot.com/2010/10/funny-animals.html

"Nuclear warheads are in circulation in the world."
by RMAF

Nuclear warheads are in circulation in the world. Most of the people are very concerned about it. And even the animals, too. This prairie dog has taken to drinking alcohol to help him forget about the war mongers plans to do harm to the human race, innocent animals and nature.

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/animal-odd-couples-gallery-1.15654

"Ochre cloth is the traditional garb of the renunciant."
By TT

Lester and MacKenzie grew up together. When Lester (who was a real pig) decided to go into a monastery and renounce the world with all the goodies that the farmer's son would bring him. He told MacKenzie (his boxer friend) about his decision. MacKenzie didn't think much of the idea. He said, "ochre cloth is the traditional garb of the renunciant." MacKenzie thought food was next to godliness and ochre wasn't a good color for Lester's complexion. Although they remained friends, they parted ways and Lester became a thin, priggish pig with an ochre colored robe and wired bifocals. The last time they met they were spiritually divergent and couldn't agree on ecclesiastical or ecumenical propriety. They quarreled and never saw one another again.




http://www.leisuremartini.com/die/

 "William made everyone swear an oath of loyalty to him."
by AD

William made everyone swear an oath of loyalty to him and to admit that his family were the best farmers on this side of Ireland. William is part of the Riley family. They have red hair that glows like red flames and dress in rich shades of green and always have a large harvest, even in times of famine. They always carry a a pipe held tight in their teeth. They were liked by many but they are short people, rarely growing over five feet. Because of this they were annoyed with the same two words for the last four centuries. They have been called "hobbits" and "leprechauns." Well, if William is Leprechaun, then he has found the biggest piece of Irish gold on this side of Ireland.