Session November 30 2013



http://www.redbubble.com/people/wildplaces/works/2526707-byron-beach-and-bike

"What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind."
by TNT

Surf songs - she coudln't pin it down, but it kept her thinking about the waves - how you ride waves of all kinds. Sometimes you wipe out. It's the balance you keep when you ride a board. It was religious. What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind. "Jesus walks on water, he doesn't need a board, he looks like Captain Nemo but folk's just call him Lord. All the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. The sunrise is splended, the sea is glorified, but when you surf with Jesus, your soul is sanctified." That's it. She thought, I'll stick the words into an envelope and send it to the Beach Boys. She smiled as the boy on the bike with the basket passed her. His pals are Buddha and Krishna from long ago, because the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. That's it. It was done.

http://blog.africageographic.com/africa-geographic-blog/wildlife/wildlife-and-nature/are-zoos-good-or-bad/

"She felt inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug."
by RMAF

An Unhuman Hug.
The little girl went to Scripps Aquarium thinking she would quietly wander through the water world exhibit. Once she saw the floating hippo rubbing up on the glass next to her, time ceased to exist for her. She sat there studying the huge animal and felt it studying her. Then mental telepathy took over like a heavy opaque fog. She felt an inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug.



http://dinotoyforum.proboards.com/thread/3466

"I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get."
by CC
Garrh! Garrh! said Martin. Since he had become a Tyrannosaurus Rex, his speech problems had intensified. But his finicky tastes were, thankfully, a thing of the past. He had eaten his son Wilbur, his wife Doreen, and the entire Nielsen family next door, including their cat, all raw. He was proud of going all raw, and felt stronger and better for it. A VW pulled up and his old friend Henry got out. Henry looked at the yard and saw the big T. Rex standing there. "Haargh," said Martin, trying to call his friend to come closer. Martin was perpetually hungry these days. "I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get." He was on his way back to the VW when Martin caught up with him.




http://www.cathyhartphotography.com/about/

"She left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home."
by PV

By now Frederick would have received the package. She was cozy and far away from the disaster zone. It was nice to have a minimum of distractions. The Alaskan pilot probably thought she was a bit bonkers, but as he unloaded her carefully chosen gear he realized that this women knew what she was doing. She even had a Malamute companion, for gosh's sake. After the plane left, Diane allowed herself a bit of reflection. The plane would pick her up in a week, more then enough time to ensure the movements of the wheels of justice to have begun - be they legal or cosmic. Frederick's downfall would be a long awaited comeuppance, one definitely cheered by the neighbors and those he had hoodwinked. Diange giggled. She had left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home. She hoped he got home early and it had not lost its freshness. Mitzie had perked her ears and nose up when Diane left the pile of shit on the counter.




http://www.travelization.net/2012/10/true-joy-of-thanksgiving-day-wallpapers.html

"There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month."
by LJD

There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month. No-one - not anyone - seemed to care. Indian women were dressing as Pilgrims and Pilgrim women were dressing as men. Letty was angry with Patty due to her lack of commitment in dressing as a man. After another swig of moonshine, Letty said, "How many times do I need to tell you that coal from the fire ring is what you need to draw sideburns or a mustache. If you do not want to go all the way, then you shouldn't play!"

Session November 16 2013




http://www.realistnews.net/Thread-5000-year-old-ufo-vimana-discovered-in-afghanistan-c2c-with-stephen-quayle

"Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through."
by PV

Finding the signal location was not easy, but they had traced it down to this cave in the Himalayas. Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through. The fax seemed straightforward, a bit jerky as if it had been sent under duress. The words were misspelled.

"Help mie, I need food and water, have been hier fer dayz. Stupid machine! xxxxx Sorey, bad manners. Please. I be small and hareless - is cold. Sincerely, sincerely, E.T.'s bruther."



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2234862/Tennis-ball-sized-Chinese-UFOs-India-edge.html

"Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she could live with it."
by TNT

I was at the Chinese-Myanmar (Burmese) border. I wanted to take a photo of my step dad Carl in his new outfit. He looked real snazzy and was grinning ear to ear. He looked like a movie star, I thought. He thought so, too, obviously. He was looking around at the other tourists to see them looking at him as he posed. Suddenly a guy in military uniform (maybe a general or higher status) came up to us and told me to quit taking photographs. It wasn't allowed, he said in Burmese. Then a tourist lady rushed up and kissed the Oriental general knocking off his hat. His hat hit her in the eye. Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she said she could live with it. The general tried to grab my camera but being short I held it up above his head. We laughed at that. He became really angry then and yelled at us in some Oriental language. He sounded like Donald Duck, and maybe we were stoned but it was hilarious. They tried to throw us in jail with the lady who kissed the general (the one with the black eye) until I explained that my step father was a famous TV actor and I was a lawyer.



http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/toy-story/images/33230429/title/strange-things-photo

"He felt like he'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning."
by RMAF

Toy Story
The Tinker Toy Twins loved to jump out of their storage cylinder whenver their boy owner left his room for school or went to bed for the night. The Tinker Toy Twins were ruffians, they would sock and box, they would slip and hit, they would romp and stomp until the moment the boy came through the door or woke up from sleeping. Then the Tinker Toy Twins would freeze, still and silent, to play the ruse of being wooden toys. Due to all the yelling and fighting, they both felt like they'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning.

http://downloadfree-hdwallpapers.blogspot.com/2012/11/amazing-moths-with-multiple.html

"She had mixed feelings about going home too early."
by BG

She had mixed feelings about going home too early. There was so much to do and she didn't want to leave the others with all the clean-up work. On the other hand, she had calculated and knew it would be the day, so she didn't want to miss getting home to see. Her conscience got the better of her so she stayed a little while longer and did a few more chores around the butterfly conservatory. She was by far the most conscientious of her fellow biologists. They always seemed to expect her to do more than her share when they completed a project. This time she had her own side project and was anxious to see the outcome, so she did leave to get home. However, when she got there she wasn't early - she was late. Her project had already made its transformation. It became a bizarre-looking moth, not a butterfly.

http://sivers.org/mystery

"Lulu McPhulu hated her name."
by CC

She decided she wanted to be a nun when she was three. Her parents, who had a bizarre sense of humor, disapproved. They were practising Pagans and cound not grasp how their liberally raised daughter would gravitate to a rigid schedule, uncomfortable clothing and a loss of personal identity. But she grew up, never wavering in her decision, and the day came when she would take her place in the convent. Lulu got out of the car and walked away into her new life as Sister Debbie. Lulu McPhulu hated her name, but "Sister Debbie" was what they called her and she couldn't change it.

http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/feminist_art_base/gallery/Nancy_Floyd.php?i=2551

"Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners confusion."
by AD

Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners, and was quite surprised when, even though he had been on earth for only two weeks, he had a date with the woman named Aria, an army recruiter. She was really nice for a carbon-based lower life form. We went out and had a normal earthling date - dinner, movies, a drive. I was surprised and nervous when after this date she took me to her home and told me to wait outside her room for a minute. Then she told me to come in and she was holding a rifle. Why? I asked. She told me, "You are an alien and I hate aliens. My father Estiban was an alien."

Session August 10 2013

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"Why did they do it? No one would ever know."

by CC

Melba was perplexed. She put down the newspaper and shook her head. Yet another cruise ship was in distress. Toxic germs sickening hundreds, plumbing backed up. Some of them even hit rocks and fall over sideways. Yet Don and Shirley Puckernutt, her sensible neighbors, had just made reservations on the Super Funliner! Then the phone rang. Melba picked it up. "Shirley, good morning!," she said, feeling a little guilty. "How are you?"  Shirley sounded tired. "Oh, Melba, I need to ask you a favor."  "Sure, Shirley. What's up?" said Melba. "Well, we have a hydroponic garden of...unusual... gourmet... mushrooms in our basement. Would you be willing to watch them while we're gone? I"ll show you how." "OK, Shirley," I said. And that's how it happened that 70 federal drug enforcement agents were chasing me through a cornfield three days later. I outran them easily since the mushrooms I'd been nibbling gave me truly amazing powers. So as I ran down the corn row, I was wondering about Don and Shirley on their cruise ship. It wasn't like them. Why did they do it? No one would ever know.

"Once you have begun this, take care to continue."

by CC

Lin-Wa Seikonan had received the knowledge of healing in a single burst of cosmic awareness between 3 and 4 a.m. on an August night 30 years ago. By now, she had forgotten most of it and was desperately hiding her ignorance by re-reading all of her old books. But very little made sense to her anymore. Well, she thought, I'll just have to make stuff up now. So she decided to create the Lin-Wa Bouncing Energy Pulsators, and needed people willing to test them. Ted and Moira Niftle were down and out and thought they could benefit both from the energy pulses and the $15 each that Lin-Wa paid them for the test. "Once you have begun this, take care to continue," barked Lin-Wa. The Niftles began to pulse and the energy balls started to move. Pretty soon they were at the edge of the park and disappeared behind the trees. Lin-Wa raced after them but tripped on a root and fell. When she got up, there was no sign of the energy balls. She knew she had lost her prototypes and $30 too. It was a bad day.

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"Ive got to admit, it all looked pretty messy."
by PV

Cecil was upset. After all, "oink oink"? What a demoralizing mask for the costume ball. Never trust a cat to be the Master of Ceremonies. I was hoping for something more dignified - Sherlock Holmes stalwart sleuthing canine conjuror. Of course, it could have been really bad, unimaginably worse. The luck of the straw draw for Master of Ceremonies could have fallen to Slith instead of Robespierre, the insufferable. Good thing there were a lot of blank pieces of papers at that part as well. For when Slith, the slimeworm, slipped a glutinous tentacle into the bowler's maw - I've got to admit, it all looked pretty messy. But I'm glad, at least I don't have to fly.

"Angelica could not make up her mind."
by PV

Good God, Hinda Ga Ra was roaring a camel's roar, and it didn't seem to affect anyone around. The mounts were stolid, thousands were kneeling, processions were coming from the horizon accompanied by a rainbow of dancers. Why do I, only I, hear Hinda Ba Ra, speaking across a gulf of time into the future of those gathered here? Angelica listened in and out of this time, frantically sorting destinies. Wasn't she the mogul princess, or maybe even a casteless dreaming drudge off the streets of Mumbai? A crystallization of selves was assembling and the final trigger was herself. Angelica could not make up her mind.

"Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?"
by AD

My friend Sasha and I have always wanted to be marine biologists and work with aquatic wildlife. After 10 years at college with our Masters Degrees, we finally made it. "Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?" For days we were trying to get a seal onto land for a study on mating behaviors,  and this was a very healthy looking female. We tried everything to get it onto land, using bait, even scaring it. We had been here for a week and it hadn't moved at all. Sasha had nearly gone mad from the stress and decided to net the creature when a bald, scrawny-looking man in his 50s swam out and grabbed it by the head and pulled it out of the water. It turned out to be a statue. The guy was a professional sculptor and puppeteer and had put it in the ocean to see if anyone else thought it was real. Sasha is in court on trial for assault with a deadly weapon after beating the man up with his own model.


"It didn't bother him, though everyone else seemed upset."

by AD

We were tired of Benjamin's smoking everywhere he went. No matter what he seemed to be sucking on a cigarette held permanently under his waxed handlebar moustache. We even had jokes that he slept with it like a baby and he used it like a candle at night. We were sick of the choking fumes on a bird watch we had Nigel make a cigarette using animal scat. He handed it to Benjamin. "Here," he said, handing it to him. "This is my own secret blend of tobacco." Benjamin switches it out with his cigarette and lights up. After a couple of deep puffs he looks up and says, "Very nice, very nice indeed. Magnificent, really." After seeing the disgusted looks on the people around him, he worried about his smoking habits.

Session August 24, 2013

http://www.habeeb.com/funny.photos.html

The sun would come up again tomorrow.
by BG
Morris the mule was finally fed up with his owners inconsideration. He amicably hauled all sorts of cargo around in his wagon and made a fair bit of change for the guy. He usually treated Morris quite well. Morris always had enough to eat and drink and was always given enough rest time. He was given pretty good veterinary care too. But little incidents like this one were becoming more and more frequent. The wagon driver that his owners paired him up with would not be tolerated by Morris any more. He would find someone to get him down when night time came. The sun would come up again tomorrow and Morris would be gone. He was going to find a better wagon somewhere else.

http://whattodowithfreetime.blogspot.com/2013/04/unusual-free-time-activities.htm

Run, she cried. It's right behind you.
by CC

The day could have been better, Emilio thought. Marty was in a lousy mood and the sun had disappeared behind heavy clouds. He pulled his jacket close and looked at Marty in her kerchief and light sweater. They were an odd couple for sure. He was 30 and a devoted bodybuilder, and she - well, he had met her in Wal-Mart when he was shopping for Metamucil. There was something strange about her, belying her frumpy looks. He knew there was more to her than met the eye, and it made him jittery sometimes. Then it happened. She snatched a loaf of bread from a passerby's grocery bag and tore into it with her powerful teeth. She was snarling like a tiger. He heard someone come up to him. "Run," she cried, "It's right behind you!" Aw, heck, he thought. It's just Marty. He watched as she devoured the loaf, then grew a second head that looked just like his own. Wow, he thought, as he began to run.


http://www.new-paris-ile-de-france.co.uk/attractions-paris/for-the-family/thoiry-78097.html


"Let's not give up too soon," he told her. "Some things just take time."
by PV

You know, Eloise. Yes Bertram, I do. We have been patiently waiting all morning and he hasn't returned. I thought it was the usual temporary fugue - a hole in the imagination - to be filled later after a break and a snack. But the color outside worries me, I haven't seen the maid, what with my back to it all and you can't tell me anything about what's going on beyond the window. Sometimes I wish I weren't so substantial and instead were a flimsy, able to be blown around by any breeze, but -  "Let's not give up too soon," he told her. "Some things just take time." - well that's Bertram with his novel solidity and me with my flighty sonnets. I just hope our creator is not in trouble.

https://www.facebook.com/JasondeMontalkRealEstate

"She sat beneath a tree and decided to wait it out."
by AD

Julia Everheart's music teacher, Mr. Hoss, was late for her vocal lessons. It was unlike him to be late for anything so she sat beneath a tree and decided to wait it out. People tease her about having Mr. Hoss as a teacher since at most times they see him as strange. It is true he has done some wierd things over the years like shave all but the bottom of the back of his head and draw eyes on the middle of the back of his head, or wearing a bathing suit and cap on cold days and lots of other strange things. But she didn't see him as weird, more as unique. She heard a car honking and turned to the sound to see Mr. Hoss on an old bike with a rather large front wheel and a little wheel in the back. She now thinks he is the most bizarre person she has ever met for what sane person would ride a bike when there were cars.

Session October 19, 2013

http://www.fourwinds10.net/siterun_data/space/ufo_and_aliens_orbs/stargates/news.php?q=1325800278

"His spirits rose with every step he took."
by CC

No-one could penetrate the Buddha's bubble. It repelled demons, dancing girls, snakes and Pan. Buddha just sat there calmly enjoying his bowl of porridge. Life was good in the bubble. There was sunshine, and flowers floated in the air. He could sit here forever, in this eternal golden moment, his mind humming with bliss. He couldn't even feel his feet. But...was it sacriligious to feel these twinges of boredom? He didn't want to go out dancing or battle demons, but he didn't really want to just sit here forever, even if it was pretty fine. He stretched out one leg and looked around. The bubble glowed while everything beyond it looked dark and dangerous. Tangled undergrowth teemed with undesireables. He stretched out his other leg, set down his porridge, and stood up. It was time for a change. When he stepped out of the bubble he felt cold and vulnerable, but he knew that was just part of being in this world. He would adapt. And now he could take scenic walks and visit with friends again. His spirits rose with every step he took.

"They danced until their legs gave out and then they fell asleep on the floor."
by TT

Fred told me Noni died. We were staying at a hotel in Kuala Lumpur at the time. Noni was our chaperone in high school, whom we always ditched. Now it seems Noni had ditched us. We walked outside the hotel to find a Grand Procession. I asked, what is this parade for? Finally someone told me "It's Noni day and we are celebrating. The mask is traditional." We told them we were friends of Noni and they said, great - you can join us. So we followed the procession and everyone danced the Noni dance until their legs gave out and they fell asleep on the floor. We woke up with terrible hangovers and cried for several hours over Noni. We wondered what she died of and decided she died of rabies from the fruit bats that live in the attic. Poor old Noni - our beloved chaperone. It's the end of our adolescence. We really must behave from now on.

"Just act surprised when she tells you"

by RMAF

My adult daugher and I were in the belly of a plane sitting inside her car when the big door flung open and the car rolled out into space over Princeton University. My daughter told me "On the good side, Mom, Dad no longer has to finance my education at the university. We'll be making quite a splash there on our own."  I howled to the wind, "Ohhhhhh, that's nice, dearrrrr!" 



Session November 2 2013

http://kootation.com/ancient-city-jordan.html

They proceeded cautiously down the stairwell.
by PV

Dr. Witherspoon and his timorous assistant were ahead of me. I felt great, enervated, yet they proceeded cautiously down the stairwell. I knew Petra's history, so the mysteries were an added benefit, but they shook Dr. Witherspoon's academic heart. This wasn't supposed to happen. God did not play dice with the universe. but apparently he had. The recently excavated room was definitely a surprise, for across the frieze on the wall marched a troop of smurfs, giggling and pointing.



http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Saylor.org's_Ancient_Civilizations_of_the_World/Ancient_Egypt

"This brings up the next question," Norman said. "Why?" by TT

Napoleon and his talking horse Norman were sightseeing. It was Napoleon's day off from conquering Egypt. His soldiers were watching belly dancers and smoking hookahs in Cairo. Nobody knew Napoleon Bonaparte's horse could talk. Napoleon always chose the most gentle horse because Napoleon wasn't a good rider. In fact he didn't like horses, but since Norman spoke French with a British accent - something that Napoleon found rather strange - Napoleon found himself spending more time with Norman than his generals. Napoleon discussed his suspicions of Josephine. He wrote her ever day. She never wrote back. He suspected she had another lover and that is why she was anxious for him to go to Egypt. Norman didn't know Josephine and didn't understand why Napoleon was jealous. He wasn't about to blow his cover with Napoleon. So he asked what Napoleon would do next. "I think I'll blow the nose off the Sphinx."  "This brings up the next question," Norman said. "Why?"



http://www.travelwizard.com/middleeast/vacation-packages/syria-vacation-packages/syria-jordan-ancient-civilizations-14-days-ck/

 "Who could have foreseen it? None of them wanted to take responsibility."
by RMAF

I just don't understand it. Last night we saw six people out here with shovels. But what did they do with all the sand and stone? Who could have foreseen it? None of them sleeping and snoring under the arch this morning with their worn down shovels laying alongside of them wanted to take any responsibiity.

thetruthbehindthescenes.wordpress.com

"When the dust cleared, they all saw what had happened."
by CC

Fritz, Waldo and Jurgen stood silently by the pod named Neuberger Station. It had been a rough landing on Titan but the pod survived, and they had avoided the ice volcano, which made everyone happy. But when the dust cleared, they all saw what had happened. They had landed near a large shopping plaza set up by the Titans for offworld visitors. They looked up to see a door open and an arm beckon to them. "Aye, come on up," they heard telepathically. " We have anything you could ever want here." Then they were caught in a tractor beam and hauled up to a MacDonalds.