Session December 21, 2013

http://www.wwwebfun.com/funny-and-strange-sleeping-positions

"They were preparing for trouble."
by PV

I know it's that time of the year - fall, getting ready for winter - and nuts! I'm an expert pine conist. I can bite and drop hundreds of cones a day. My main problem is that after stashing the cones in perfect hiding places, I forget where I put them. Horror of horrors! My nearest of relations had been super busy despite their endless chattering. It was the arrival of those vagabond revelers from the south - those garishly tufted bandits who disdained working in the heights but instead - stole- yes stole our hard won gains. I'd warned Eliza about the upcoming battle. They were preparing for trouble. Still, what else could I do on this warm, fall day beneath a stripped pine? Snooze while one can, rest before going into the breach. A little early to sing, "I just go nuts at Christmas."



hotfunparadise.blogspot.com

 "There had never been so many of them in one place before."
by RMAF

I'm the girl in cowgirl boots, braids and cowgirl hat in Campo, California where my husband and I live on 40 mountainous acres out in ranchland country. My husband has a bulldozer and two tractors. He feels very in control and powerful riding upon the metal monsters. He loves to bury and cover things up - motorcycles, bikes, furniture, old rocks and bones, trash, dead farm animals, deceased pets, old trees, used barn straw - you know, everything he thinks we don't need anymore. But when I found this skeleton with his very nasty and bad stepfather's ring still on the fingerbone, he had gone too far. I tried to tell the very nasty and bad stepfather he should be nicer to us, but he would never listen to me.

http://www.worldfishingnetwork.com/community/post/conservation-of-wild-salmon-and-the-salmon-feedlot-boycott

"July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit."
by CC

Richard and Paul had married the same woman. Richard knew her as Linda while Paul called her Tilly. Her real name was Hortense but she liked playing the name game. And she liked playing the husband game too. One day she made a mistake with her calendar and both Richard and Paul met her at Starbucks for an espresso. Richard was upset at first but Paul thought it was a hoot. They ended up being good friends and didn't spend much time with Hortense. She turned to gardening in frustration and planted a plum tree early in the year. Paul and Richard were going out to Home Depot together and they started fishing too. They were spending all their free time together. Hortense felt bad, as if her little game had been turned against her. She brooded until summer. July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit. Then she packed her bags and left. Richard and Paul came home with a huge fish and found her gone. They baked a plum pie to go with the fish. It wasn't any good. Without Hortense, they didn't feel united in friendship any longer. Richard left. Paul threw out the leftovers which went smelly overnight. A feral cat knocked over the trashcan and finished off the fish. He was the reincarnation of a socialist English professor and wine snob who cheated on his wife. Somewhere in his tiny wildcat brain he thought Pinot Grigio would go well with this.

Session December 7, 2013

http://blog.allstate.com/wildfire-prevention-preparing-your-home/

"The odor got stronger on the porch as he knocked on the door."

by CC

Mac opened his window and sniffed. The wisteria was blooming and he loved the elusive scent. It reminded him of his years in Santa Fe - how every little hacienda was buried in wisteria vines from May to midsummer, when the heat knocked them back. He had been a firefighter then, and fought on the big Jimez Wilderness blaze. He was thinking about the beauty of the fire blossoming into rosettes of red and pink and yellow. He loved fire even more than he loved wisteria or Santa Fe. He smiled, thinking of the secret book he kept with newspaper articles and photographs of all the fires he had set.

Suddenly his reverie was broken by a noxious and foul odor that wafted in from the house next door. The Feathernoughts again! Those chemistry freaks were cooking up another disgusting Golem. He slammed the window shut and put on his gear. Shouldering the flame thrower, he went out onto the porch and crossed the lawn to the Feathernought's little saltbox. The odor got sronger on the porch as he knocked on the door. The door swung open. The Golem looked at him quizzically as he raised the flame thrower. Someday he would have to figure out how to put a camera on one of these.



http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2010/06/nasa_introduces_unfortunately_named_face_in_space_program.php

"He was a fighter, and he wanted war."
by GS

He was a fighter, and he wanted war. At first all had been rosy with bloody battles and sneak attacks, but then he was picked for the Checkmate Project. His assignment: Penetrate the enemy defense and detonate the X-Bomb. Suddenly he developed a conscience and wavered in his committment to destruction. The consequences had become unacceptable and he needed to find an exit which did not get him arrested for treason. The idea finally developed in his troubled mind. He would "accidentally" press his emergency eject button right after taking off so the X-bomb would detonate on impact in the ocean rather than over an innocent civilian population. When the big day arrived he was ready. The telescopic images of his ejection showed him smiling with satisfaction as he watched the remote explosion from the plane's crash into the ocean. After the court martial he was executed by firing squad for treason.



http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2013/05/08/the-wildplaces-cosplay-photography-project-first-batch-of-pictures/wild-places-10/

"Nothing had ever been so fulfilling."
By PV

Skeets looked askance down the slope. Her boots were hurting. Never thought that cross dressing would pose shoe problems, she thought that was behind her. But men's feet were different from women's. And her/his hair would not behave, not a usual thought for a guy. And the rest of the getup necessary for this adventure - well, usually in putting together a B grade movie there were oddities, but this was worse than mixing Finnegan's Wake and Walter Mitty. Still, the pay was good, and, unless one is a born comic, it is hard to get used to the idea that for a long moment in time, one was a complete ass. What would Jane Austen have thought? His existential diet had really changed. Nothing had ever been so fulfilling.



Session November 30 2013



http://www.redbubble.com/people/wildplaces/works/2526707-byron-beach-and-bike

"What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind."
by TNT

Surf songs - she coudln't pin it down, but it kept her thinking about the waves - how you ride waves of all kinds. Sometimes you wipe out. It's the balance you keep when you ride a board. It was religious. What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind. "Jesus walks on water, he doesn't need a board, he looks like Captain Nemo but folk's just call him Lord. All the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. The sunrise is splended, the sea is glorified, but when you surf with Jesus, your soul is sanctified." That's it. She thought, I'll stick the words into an envelope and send it to the Beach Boys. She smiled as the boy on the bike with the basket passed her. His pals are Buddha and Krishna from long ago, because the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. That's it. It was done.

http://blog.africageographic.com/africa-geographic-blog/wildlife/wildlife-and-nature/are-zoos-good-or-bad/

"She felt inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug."
by RMAF

An Unhuman Hug.
The little girl went to Scripps Aquarium thinking she would quietly wander through the water world exhibit. Once she saw the floating hippo rubbing up on the glass next to her, time ceased to exist for her. She sat there studying the huge animal and felt it studying her. Then mental telepathy took over like a heavy opaque fog. She felt an inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug.



http://dinotoyforum.proboards.com/thread/3466

"I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get."
by CC
Garrh! Garrh! said Martin. Since he had become a Tyrannosaurus Rex, his speech problems had intensified. But his finicky tastes were, thankfully, a thing of the past. He had eaten his son Wilbur, his wife Doreen, and the entire Nielsen family next door, including their cat, all raw. He was proud of going all raw, and felt stronger and better for it. A VW pulled up and his old friend Henry got out. Henry looked at the yard and saw the big T. Rex standing there. "Haargh," said Martin, trying to call his friend to come closer. Martin was perpetually hungry these days. "I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get." He was on his way back to the VW when Martin caught up with him.




http://www.cathyhartphotography.com/about/

"She left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home."
by PV

By now Frederick would have received the package. She was cozy and far away from the disaster zone. It was nice to have a minimum of distractions. The Alaskan pilot probably thought she was a bit bonkers, but as he unloaded her carefully chosen gear he realized that this women knew what she was doing. She even had a Malamute companion, for gosh's sake. After the plane left, Diane allowed herself a bit of reflection. The plane would pick her up in a week, more then enough time to ensure the movements of the wheels of justice to have begun - be they legal or cosmic. Frederick's downfall would be a long awaited comeuppance, one definitely cheered by the neighbors and those he had hoodwinked. Diange giggled. She had left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home. She hoped he got home early and it had not lost its freshness. Mitzie had perked her ears and nose up when Diane left the pile of shit on the counter.




http://www.travelization.net/2012/10/true-joy-of-thanksgiving-day-wallpapers.html

"There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month."
by LJD

There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month. No-one - not anyone - seemed to care. Indian women were dressing as Pilgrims and Pilgrim women were dressing as men. Letty was angry with Patty due to her lack of commitment in dressing as a man. After another swig of moonshine, Letty said, "How many times do I need to tell you that coal from the fire ring is what you need to draw sideburns or a mustache. If you do not want to go all the way, then you shouldn't play!"

Session November 16 2013




http://www.realistnews.net/Thread-5000-year-old-ufo-vimana-discovered-in-afghanistan-c2c-with-stephen-quayle

"Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through."
by PV

Finding the signal location was not easy, but they had traced it down to this cave in the Himalayas. Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through. The fax seemed straightforward, a bit jerky as if it had been sent under duress. The words were misspelled.

"Help mie, I need food and water, have been hier fer dayz. Stupid machine! xxxxx Sorey, bad manners. Please. I be small and hareless - is cold. Sincerely, sincerely, E.T.'s bruther."



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2234862/Tennis-ball-sized-Chinese-UFOs-India-edge.html

"Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she could live with it."
by TNT

I was at the Chinese-Myanmar (Burmese) border. I wanted to take a photo of my step dad Carl in his new outfit. He looked real snazzy and was grinning ear to ear. He looked like a movie star, I thought. He thought so, too, obviously. He was looking around at the other tourists to see them looking at him as he posed. Suddenly a guy in military uniform (maybe a general or higher status) came up to us and told me to quit taking photographs. It wasn't allowed, he said in Burmese. Then a tourist lady rushed up and kissed the Oriental general knocking off his hat. His hat hit her in the eye. Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she said she could live with it. The general tried to grab my camera but being short I held it up above his head. We laughed at that. He became really angry then and yelled at us in some Oriental language. He sounded like Donald Duck, and maybe we were stoned but it was hilarious. They tried to throw us in jail with the lady who kissed the general (the one with the black eye) until I explained that my step father was a famous TV actor and I was a lawyer.



http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/toy-story/images/33230429/title/strange-things-photo

"He felt like he'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning."
by RMAF

Toy Story
The Tinker Toy Twins loved to jump out of their storage cylinder whenver their boy owner left his room for school or went to bed for the night. The Tinker Toy Twins were ruffians, they would sock and box, they would slip and hit, they would romp and stomp until the moment the boy came through the door or woke up from sleeping. Then the Tinker Toy Twins would freeze, still and silent, to play the ruse of being wooden toys. Due to all the yelling and fighting, they both felt like they'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning.

http://downloadfree-hdwallpapers.blogspot.com/2012/11/amazing-moths-with-multiple.html

"She had mixed feelings about going home too early."
by BG

She had mixed feelings about going home too early. There was so much to do and she didn't want to leave the others with all the clean-up work. On the other hand, she had calculated and knew it would be the day, so she didn't want to miss getting home to see. Her conscience got the better of her so she stayed a little while longer and did a few more chores around the butterfly conservatory. She was by far the most conscientious of her fellow biologists. They always seemed to expect her to do more than her share when they completed a project. This time she had her own side project and was anxious to see the outcome, so she did leave to get home. However, when she got there she wasn't early - she was late. Her project had already made its transformation. It became a bizarre-looking moth, not a butterfly.

http://sivers.org/mystery

"Lulu McPhulu hated her name."
by CC

She decided she wanted to be a nun when she was three. Her parents, who had a bizarre sense of humor, disapproved. They were practising Pagans and cound not grasp how their liberally raised daughter would gravitate to a rigid schedule, uncomfortable clothing and a loss of personal identity. But she grew up, never wavering in her decision, and the day came when she would take her place in the convent. Lulu got out of the car and walked away into her new life as Sister Debbie. Lulu McPhulu hated her name, but "Sister Debbie" was what they called her and she couldn't change it.

http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/feminist_art_base/gallery/Nancy_Floyd.php?i=2551

"Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners confusion."
by AD

Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners, and was quite surprised when, even though he had been on earth for only two weeks, he had a date with the woman named Aria, an army recruiter. She was really nice for a carbon-based lower life form. We went out and had a normal earthling date - dinner, movies, a drive. I was surprised and nervous when after this date she took me to her home and told me to wait outside her room for a minute. Then she told me to come in and she was holding a rifle. Why? I asked. She told me, "You are an alien and I hate aliens. My father Estiban was an alien."

Session August 10 2013

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"Why did they do it? No one would ever know."

by CC

Melba was perplexed. She put down the newspaper and shook her head. Yet another cruise ship was in distress. Toxic germs sickening hundreds, plumbing backed up. Some of them even hit rocks and fall over sideways. Yet Don and Shirley Puckernutt, her sensible neighbors, had just made reservations on the Super Funliner! Then the phone rang. Melba picked it up. "Shirley, good morning!," she said, feeling a little guilty. "How are you?"  Shirley sounded tired. "Oh, Melba, I need to ask you a favor."  "Sure, Shirley. What's up?" said Melba. "Well, we have a hydroponic garden of...unusual... gourmet... mushrooms in our basement. Would you be willing to watch them while we're gone? I"ll show you how." "OK, Shirley," I said. And that's how it happened that 70 federal drug enforcement agents were chasing me through a cornfield three days later. I outran them easily since the mushrooms I'd been nibbling gave me truly amazing powers. So as I ran down the corn row, I was wondering about Don and Shirley on their cruise ship. It wasn't like them. Why did they do it? No one would ever know.

"Once you have begun this, take care to continue."

by CC

Lin-Wa Seikonan had received the knowledge of healing in a single burst of cosmic awareness between 3 and 4 a.m. on an August night 30 years ago. By now, she had forgotten most of it and was desperately hiding her ignorance by re-reading all of her old books. But very little made sense to her anymore. Well, she thought, I'll just have to make stuff up now. So she decided to create the Lin-Wa Bouncing Energy Pulsators, and needed people willing to test them. Ted and Moira Niftle were down and out and thought they could benefit both from the energy pulses and the $15 each that Lin-Wa paid them for the test. "Once you have begun this, take care to continue," barked Lin-Wa. The Niftles began to pulse and the energy balls started to move. Pretty soon they were at the edge of the park and disappeared behind the trees. Lin-Wa raced after them but tripped on a root and fell. When she got up, there was no sign of the energy balls. She knew she had lost her prototypes and $30 too. It was a bad day.

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"Ive got to admit, it all looked pretty messy."
by PV

Cecil was upset. After all, "oink oink"? What a demoralizing mask for the costume ball. Never trust a cat to be the Master of Ceremonies. I was hoping for something more dignified - Sherlock Holmes stalwart sleuthing canine conjuror. Of course, it could have been really bad, unimaginably worse. The luck of the straw draw for Master of Ceremonies could have fallen to Slith instead of Robespierre, the insufferable. Good thing there were a lot of blank pieces of papers at that part as well. For when Slith, the slimeworm, slipped a glutinous tentacle into the bowler's maw - I've got to admit, it all looked pretty messy. But I'm glad, at least I don't have to fly.

"Angelica could not make up her mind."
by PV

Good God, Hinda Ga Ra was roaring a camel's roar, and it didn't seem to affect anyone around. The mounts were stolid, thousands were kneeling, processions were coming from the horizon accompanied by a rainbow of dancers. Why do I, only I, hear Hinda Ba Ra, speaking across a gulf of time into the future of those gathered here? Angelica listened in and out of this time, frantically sorting destinies. Wasn't she the mogul princess, or maybe even a casteless dreaming drudge off the streets of Mumbai? A crystallization of selves was assembling and the final trigger was herself. Angelica could not make up her mind.

"Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?"
by AD

My friend Sasha and I have always wanted to be marine biologists and work with aquatic wildlife. After 10 years at college with our Masters Degrees, we finally made it. "Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?" For days we were trying to get a seal onto land for a study on mating behaviors,  and this was a very healthy looking female. We tried everything to get it onto land, using bait, even scaring it. We had been here for a week and it hadn't moved at all. Sasha had nearly gone mad from the stress and decided to net the creature when a bald, scrawny-looking man in his 50s swam out and grabbed it by the head and pulled it out of the water. It turned out to be a statue. The guy was a professional sculptor and puppeteer and had put it in the ocean to see if anyone else thought it was real. Sasha is in court on trial for assault with a deadly weapon after beating the man up with his own model.


"It didn't bother him, though everyone else seemed upset."

by AD

We were tired of Benjamin's smoking everywhere he went. No matter what he seemed to be sucking on a cigarette held permanently under his waxed handlebar moustache. We even had jokes that he slept with it like a baby and he used it like a candle at night. We were sick of the choking fumes on a bird watch we had Nigel make a cigarette using animal scat. He handed it to Benjamin. "Here," he said, handing it to him. "This is my own secret blend of tobacco." Benjamin switches it out with his cigarette and lights up. After a couple of deep puffs he looks up and says, "Very nice, very nice indeed. Magnificent, really." After seeing the disgusted looks on the people around him, he worried about his smoking habits.

Session August 24, 2013

http://www.habeeb.com/funny.photos.html

The sun would come up again tomorrow.
by BG
Morris the mule was finally fed up with his owners inconsideration. He amicably hauled all sorts of cargo around in his wagon and made a fair bit of change for the guy. He usually treated Morris quite well. Morris always had enough to eat and drink and was always given enough rest time. He was given pretty good veterinary care too. But little incidents like this one were becoming more and more frequent. The wagon driver that his owners paired him up with would not be tolerated by Morris any more. He would find someone to get him down when night time came. The sun would come up again tomorrow and Morris would be gone. He was going to find a better wagon somewhere else.

http://whattodowithfreetime.blogspot.com/2013/04/unusual-free-time-activities.htm

Run, she cried. It's right behind you.
by CC

The day could have been better, Emilio thought. Marty was in a lousy mood and the sun had disappeared behind heavy clouds. He pulled his jacket close and looked at Marty in her kerchief and light sweater. They were an odd couple for sure. He was 30 and a devoted bodybuilder, and she - well, he had met her in Wal-Mart when he was shopping for Metamucil. There was something strange about her, belying her frumpy looks. He knew there was more to her than met the eye, and it made him jittery sometimes. Then it happened. She snatched a loaf of bread from a passerby's grocery bag and tore into it with her powerful teeth. She was snarling like a tiger. He heard someone come up to him. "Run," she cried, "It's right behind you!" Aw, heck, he thought. It's just Marty. He watched as she devoured the loaf, then grew a second head that looked just like his own. Wow, he thought, as he began to run.


http://www.new-paris-ile-de-france.co.uk/attractions-paris/for-the-family/thoiry-78097.html


"Let's not give up too soon," he told her. "Some things just take time."
by PV

You know, Eloise. Yes Bertram, I do. We have been patiently waiting all morning and he hasn't returned. I thought it was the usual temporary fugue - a hole in the imagination - to be filled later after a break and a snack. But the color outside worries me, I haven't seen the maid, what with my back to it all and you can't tell me anything about what's going on beyond the window. Sometimes I wish I weren't so substantial and instead were a flimsy, able to be blown around by any breeze, but -  "Let's not give up too soon," he told her. "Some things just take time." - well that's Bertram with his novel solidity and me with my flighty sonnets. I just hope our creator is not in trouble.

https://www.facebook.com/JasondeMontalkRealEstate

"She sat beneath a tree and decided to wait it out."
by AD

Julia Everheart's music teacher, Mr. Hoss, was late for her vocal lessons. It was unlike him to be late for anything so she sat beneath a tree and decided to wait it out. People tease her about having Mr. Hoss as a teacher since at most times they see him as strange. It is true he has done some wierd things over the years like shave all but the bottom of the back of his head and draw eyes on the middle of the back of his head, or wearing a bathing suit and cap on cold days and lots of other strange things. But she didn't see him as weird, more as unique. She heard a car honking and turned to the sound to see Mr. Hoss on an old bike with a rather large front wheel and a little wheel in the back. She now thinks he is the most bizarre person she has ever met for what sane person would ride a bike when there were cars.

Session October 19, 2013

http://www.fourwinds10.net/siterun_data/space/ufo_and_aliens_orbs/stargates/news.php?q=1325800278

"His spirits rose with every step he took."
by CC

No-one could penetrate the Buddha's bubble. It repelled demons, dancing girls, snakes and Pan. Buddha just sat there calmly enjoying his bowl of porridge. Life was good in the bubble. There was sunshine, and flowers floated in the air. He could sit here forever, in this eternal golden moment, his mind humming with bliss. He couldn't even feel his feet. But...was it sacriligious to feel these twinges of boredom? He didn't want to go out dancing or battle demons, but he didn't really want to just sit here forever, even if it was pretty fine. He stretched out one leg and looked around. The bubble glowed while everything beyond it looked dark and dangerous. Tangled undergrowth teemed with undesireables. He stretched out his other leg, set down his porridge, and stood up. It was time for a change. When he stepped out of the bubble he felt cold and vulnerable, but he knew that was just part of being in this world. He would adapt. And now he could take scenic walks and visit with friends again. His spirits rose with every step he took.

"They danced until their legs gave out and then they fell asleep on the floor."
by TT

Fred told me Noni died. We were staying at a hotel in Kuala Lumpur at the time. Noni was our chaperone in high school, whom we always ditched. Now it seems Noni had ditched us. We walked outside the hotel to find a Grand Procession. I asked, what is this parade for? Finally someone told me "It's Noni day and we are celebrating. The mask is traditional." We told them we were friends of Noni and they said, great - you can join us. So we followed the procession and everyone danced the Noni dance until their legs gave out and they fell asleep on the floor. We woke up with terrible hangovers and cried for several hours over Noni. We wondered what she died of and decided she died of rabies from the fruit bats that live in the attic. Poor old Noni - our beloved chaperone. It's the end of our adolescence. We really must behave from now on.

"Just act surprised when she tells you"

by RMAF

My adult daugher and I were in the belly of a plane sitting inside her car when the big door flung open and the car rolled out into space over Princeton University. My daughter told me "On the good side, Mom, Dad no longer has to finance my education at the university. We'll be making quite a splash there on our own."  I howled to the wind, "Ohhhhhh, that's nice, dearrrrr!" 



Session November 2 2013

http://kootation.com/ancient-city-jordan.html

They proceeded cautiously down the stairwell.
by PV

Dr. Witherspoon and his timorous assistant were ahead of me. I felt great, enervated, yet they proceeded cautiously down the stairwell. I knew Petra's history, so the mysteries were an added benefit, but they shook Dr. Witherspoon's academic heart. This wasn't supposed to happen. God did not play dice with the universe. but apparently he had. The recently excavated room was definitely a surprise, for across the frieze on the wall marched a troop of smurfs, giggling and pointing.



http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Saylor.org's_Ancient_Civilizations_of_the_World/Ancient_Egypt

"This brings up the next question," Norman said. "Why?" by TT

Napoleon and his talking horse Norman were sightseeing. It was Napoleon's day off from conquering Egypt. His soldiers were watching belly dancers and smoking hookahs in Cairo. Nobody knew Napoleon Bonaparte's horse could talk. Napoleon always chose the most gentle horse because Napoleon wasn't a good rider. In fact he didn't like horses, but since Norman spoke French with a British accent - something that Napoleon found rather strange - Napoleon found himself spending more time with Norman than his generals. Napoleon discussed his suspicions of Josephine. He wrote her ever day. She never wrote back. He suspected she had another lover and that is why she was anxious for him to go to Egypt. Norman didn't know Josephine and didn't understand why Napoleon was jealous. He wasn't about to blow his cover with Napoleon. So he asked what Napoleon would do next. "I think I'll blow the nose off the Sphinx."  "This brings up the next question," Norman said. "Why?"



http://www.travelwizard.com/middleeast/vacation-packages/syria-vacation-packages/syria-jordan-ancient-civilizations-14-days-ck/

 "Who could have foreseen it? None of them wanted to take responsibility."
by RMAF

I just don't understand it. Last night we saw six people out here with shovels. But what did they do with all the sand and stone? Who could have foreseen it? None of them sleeping and snoring under the arch this morning with their worn down shovels laying alongside of them wanted to take any responsibiity.

thetruthbehindthescenes.wordpress.com

"When the dust cleared, they all saw what had happened."
by CC

Fritz, Waldo and Jurgen stood silently by the pod named Neuberger Station. It had been a rough landing on Titan but the pod survived, and they had avoided the ice volcano, which made everyone happy. But when the dust cleared, they all saw what had happened. They had landed near a large shopping plaza set up by the Titans for offworld visitors. They looked up to see a door open and an arm beckon to them. "Aye, come on up," they heard telepathically. " We have anything you could ever want here." Then they were caught in a tractor beam and hauled up to a MacDonalds.

Session October 5 2013

http://www.123rf.com/photo_5640031_lifestyle-of-ancient-people-in-the-skins-of-wild-animals.html

"If only she would change her mind!"
by PV

So it's a hot time in old town tonight! What was our crime? We were born into lower society - you know, rats and other unmentionables, the dregs of God. But, the pillars - that's us - underlying society, unmentionable morter upon which the exalted edifices of it all shines. Now if we had not acquired minds we'd not know of our calculated demises. Rats against the beauties of the cosmos. Damn! But my whiskers are getting singed - if only I had cultivated pet status, but who wants a pet rat on a soap box exhorting his brethren to claw up for their rights? Still, would I give my fleas more than short shrift? If only she would change her mind!

http://www.fropki.com/most-unusual-locations-for-doing-these-activities-vt50157-4.html

"He gave her a terrible headache and left her feeling irritable and mean spirited."
by TT

Joe is my nemesis, my nightmare, my test and trial. His energy is limitless. He creates ingenious attention-grabbing devices. In fact I think of contacting the CIA to recommend him as an agent of subversion and low-tech sabotage. He talks 30 words a second, all nonsense. I try to escape and to ignore him but he gives me terrible headaches that make irritation a minor emotional complaint compared to the crisis of explosive frustrations and panic. After I have abused him verbally and called him every mean epithet that I can conjure, I lapse into fluent gibberish and unspeakable anguish. Mean-spirited, I watch him on the edge of that cliff without a rope and hope that he'll remain there forever.

http://www.wanderlustimages.com/gallery/Stock/wildlife/bh-2.JPG.php

"There wasn't enough to go around. Someone would have to do without."
by RMAF

Mr. Big Stud long horn sheep only fell in lust with one of his darling, dancing damsels that mating season. All the rest of the females could not get pregnant that year. I guess one could say he was a one woman man.

http://romaniadacia.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/getae-dacians-brought-to-life-part-3-history/dacians-dacian-women-ancient-people-ritual-romanians/

"We luxuriate in the intense glory of the moment."
by CC

Liana sat in the center of the circle where she had spread her picnic blanket. Finally she had come by herself to the park to do what she desired for a change. She felt stronger somehow, doing as she pleased. Looking around, she thought to herself, gosh, I'm glad I wore white today! A line of white-gowned women began circling her, chanting doo-lally, woo-lally, shu-lally bong bong bong. Liana wondered if they were practising for a show. They began walking faster and faster until suddenly Smith Street Park disappeared and Liana found herself sitting on a broad grassy plan near stacked hay bales against which leaned spears and shields. Her picnic basket had become drums and jugs of aromatic wine. Finally she had to interrupt. What are you doing? What have you done? One woman stopped to look at her placidly. "We luxuriate in the intense glory of the moment." Another said, "None of us know who we really are."

Session September 21, 2013



http://emorfes.com/2010/01/10/amazing-magical-realism-photography/


Nobody believed us.
By PV

I wasn't sure why Sally Wu was pouring tea into my breast pocket. It was obviously a methodical attempt to break my concentration, to spirit me into a whimsical here and now, devoid of concern for larger issues. It did pull me away from battling the insectoid hordes holding my Captain father prisoner, but I segregated my mind and I was once again covered in ichor, snipping my sword through repulsive denizens from the bowels of the hive portals. I relished my father's joy as he took command of the warp ship and eased us out into a luminous nebula. It was a good idea of Sally's and I achieved transformation - but nobody believed us at the soiree we attended later. What Alphonse the cat was pouncing on during our slash and cut interlude was anybody's guess.

http://wrightandleft.blogspot.com/2013/01/on-vocations-contentment-and-hating-cats.html#!/2013/01/on-vocations-contentment-and-hating-cats.html

She had not felt well ever since it happened.
by CC

Moana was miffed. He had been irritable for most of his life, in fact, ever since the moment he realized his mother was one teat short and the other kittens invariably shut him out. He was irritated when Lucy, the little girl who adopted him, thought he was a female and named him Moana. Moana, for crap's sake, he thought. One day Lucy called for him with such revolting sweetness that he ran over to her and bit her hard on the ankle. She had not felt well ever since it happened. But he didn't care. In fact, it gave him pleasure, though he would not give himself the satisfaction of showing it.

Session July 27 2013

http://www.boostinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/04_cute_animals_squirrel.jpg

"They must also perform acts of mortification every day."
by LJD

Speaking in Rabbit, Grandpa Shack sniffed a comment. "It is the story of the life of a rabbit. A) Run for cover, B) Never look back, C) Do not be concerned with your brother, your mother or the like.  For it is the call of the Wild Dog, and we must perform acts of moritification every day. I have seen headless rabbits, rabbit foot key chains, rabbit shishkebobs in the garden. Mortification is a constant for us. The next life will be different, I have no doubt. I have seen the signs in the Summer Moon."

http://xaxor.com/funny-pics/39044-funny-more-animals-acting-like-humans.html

"It wouldn't be a problem, he would see to that."
by PV

Pretty bleak out, the bloody fog had really closed in. A depressing fourth of July, no early picnickers with their screaming kids gamboling ahead of them, turning somersaults over dewy grass sparkled by a benevolent sun. Sylvester was stolid, he usually was stolid, grinding away unimaginable thoughts within that bird brain of his. Well, he'd been in pickles before, but no picnickers meant no leftovers, ipso facto no scurrying plump mice too heedless in their own greed to sense their immanent demise from the heavens. Sylvester turned one eye towards me. It wouldn't be a problem, he would see to that. "It is a true dilemma Thaddeus. Remember those hobos with the stolen turkey by the tracks? Well, they ought to be so stuffed now as to be incapable of discretionary thought. So you, Thaddeus, have to puff yourself up beyond the fire, becoming Thaddeus the Immense, the Colossus of Rhodes in the oaks, a bigger than life railroad cop descending on those stealing freeloaders. I will make the appropriate noises. When they have fled, we will have silence; almost all the consequent scurrying will be by our tiny, furry friends. We will have a feast.

http://www.creative-journeys.com/unusual-summer-festivals-around-the-world/

"They would have to press forward without assurance."
by CC

Eldon knew it was down here, deep in the muck at the bottom of the pond. He kept rubbing his finger where the wedding ring had been not an hour ago. He has slipped and fallen into the pond to a chorus of hoots from diners on the patio at the restaurant where he and Milly had been eating before he decided to take a stroll. He did have awful indigestion, but that wasn't why he had left the table. No, he had been a little upset by her black lipstick. He didn't like black. She had stiffened and said "It's grape, stupid." So maybe falling into the pond wasn't really an accident. He stripped to his underwear and borrowed a snorkeling mask from a kid who had been watching. He might find the ring, or he might not. She might turn into a different woman, or not. They would have to press forward without assurance.

https://www.facebook.com/StrangeandInterestingThings

"Such is life, he thought."
by BG

Frank was really put out by that company and all the policy changes they were recently moving forward with. He wished he'd never agreed to a contract for so many years. He just didn't want to make so many personal changes to accomodate the new concepts that they wanted him to work with. In the past, his work representing them had always been so pleasant. He brought a smile to people's faces when they saw him in advertisement. Now, what were they thinking when they decided to branch off in a new direction? Such is life, he thought. He guessed they just had to go with the flow and change with the times, but, really now, the new name was just so unimaginative. Zombiosity! Argh!

http://emorfes.com/2010/01/10/amazing-magical-realism-photography/

"He wouldn't return, no matter what they said."
By PR

After 10 years of searching he had finally found her...the one he had nearly given up on. With his heart beaming with emotion, he took her into his arms. Looking into her eyes, he knew that she could never leave her home. As his head began to spin with ideas a new feeling began to grow inside of him, profound and full of resolve. Neither joy nor despair gripped him now. There was only one absolute: Being with her. He could hear the voices of all of those close to him, all their advice and well wishes. But as he followed her into the great sea, he knew. He wouldn't return, no matter what they said.

http://xaxor.com/photography/30708-interesting-photo-manipulations-part-13.html

"When I'm sure I can trust your intentions, I'll get out of your way."
by RMAF

Sixtuplets fighting amongst themselves. When we're sure we can trust your intentions, we'll get out of your way. But until then, you three eggheads can remain sitting in the back row, where you belong!

http://www.etherealspirit101.blogspot.com/

"The end came quicker than expected."
by AD

Lucy P. Chevalier was a woman of many talents. She was a skilled  fashion designer who also did cover girl work for longer than any woman before her. A skilled artist, professional dancer  and photographer, she modeled most of her original work and her original designs sold very quickly for large amounts. She planned to do this work until the end of her life. The end came quicker than expected. This was the last photo taken of her. The moment of her death came when a group of hungry sea gulls pushed her over the railing trying to grab the lunch she packed, sending her crashing in shallow waters four stories below. She doesn't look so lovely now.