Session January 18, 2014

http://reelfoto.blogspot.com/2011/07/edward-s-curtis-first-americans.html

"She felt judged, and she didn't like it one bit."
by PV

Ever since she put the Ancestors' basket on her head, she felt judged and she didn't like it one bit. There was so much jabbering, you'd think after all those years of being dead they'd have sorted it out. Maybe death as a hermit would be better, and she would only be listening to wind in the reeds, the creaking of pine branches and the slurping sounds of the waters on clay rich shores. If this was the stir she created standing by the town's central tower, what might they say if she were to stroll down the causeway in Kabul's airport? Talk about culture shock to the spirits! Mohammed had it easy.



http://designbeep.com/2012/05/15/10-flickr-groups-for-vintage-photography-inspiration/

"Warren threw his cap against the wall in frustration."
by LJD

Josh announced with a lisp, "The glee festival is next week in L.A. and I will NOT go looking like a fool!" Warren, always feeling like the last to know anything, threw his cap against the wall in frustration, saying "I was on my knees this morning praying 'Jesus use me.' Well, am I invited or not? We can take a trip to the beauty supply to buy wigs and go as something like - how about "The Faith Tones?"  After Josh, Warren and Zack took a trip to the beauty supply they experienced a beautiful conversion, and began to laugh as they looked in the mirror. Those 3 big smiles completed their transformation into a very beliveable religious singing group.

http://www.screenjunkies.com

"It will never be the right time, so why wait?"
by BG

It will never be the right time, so why wait? Higby had dreamt of being able to just go right up to a total stranger who just happened to be in the area minding their own business. Would it be OK to ask permission to get together to make a spur of the moment memento of this fine day at the park? Being in the same place at the same time just had to mean it was destined to happen. Would it be OK to ask "Why are you at the park today?" Hopefully, yes. So Higby took a deep breath, mustered up as much courge as possible, motioned to his photographer, shuffled over to the blonde, and asked, "Can I have my photo taken with you?"

http://www.royalcollection.org.uk/event/exhibition-talk-for-groups-the-queen-60-photographs-for-60-years

"She didn't even care that they were wet."
by TNT

Mrs. Higgins Hat and the Fish
It was a fine day for sitting in the park and feeding the fish in the little pond. She wore her flowered dress and a plaid coat. On her head was her father's bowler had and her husband's broad-shaded working hat. That's the way she kept them - one over - one under - to fit over her hairdo, which was monumental under the hats. She didn't like her hair to blow around or hairs to fall over her ears. She watched the fish and fed them tiny crumbs. They swarmed up and over the banks to nibble her offerings. As she looked up, the fish made a pattern in the sky. They swam neatly. She liked seeing the fish up there. She didn't even care if they were wet. They roared above her. My goodness! Fishing in the sky was the next thing to do. She would get a fishing pole from her closet. Her father and husband had left one there. She would get those roaring little fish down and eat them for dinner.

http://www.geoffreyrickaby.com/photography/oshkosh-photography-group-%E2%80%93-first-national-bank-photo-shoot-extended

"Then the storm blew out all the lights."
by CC

Millie was a good shot, and she had been thinking about whom to shoot since noon. Would it be Arturo, who stole her paycheck, or Geraldo, who stood her up? She decided to shoot both of them. Just then a squawk from her weather alert radio advised her that a tornado was bearing down on town. Time to get busy. She went out to the curb where the old Pinto was nestled next to a fire hydrant. She scraped the parking tickets off the windshield and into the gutter, then climbed into the car and took off. On the freeway she could see the tornado approaching so she sped up, weaving between cars, until she reached the offramp and pulled into the parking lot of the Whiskey Jug tavern. She went in, looking for either Arturo or Geraldo, but they were both at the bar, drinking. They turned to look at her with expressions of shock and dismay. She aimed her pistol carefully, then the storm blew out all the lights. That's all it took to ruin her aim, and give both men a chance to race out of the bar. Millie watched the men get picked up by the tornado. They were swirling around in the air with the Pinto. She smiled and poured herself a drink.

http://izismile.com/tags/strange+trees/

"Moonlight fell on them in a misty blue glow."
by RMAF

Nobody would believe me, but in the early evening moonlight fell on the trees in a misty blue glow and strange things happened. As soon as all the hikers left that part of the forest, all the trees down in the hollow began to sing their repertoir of tree songs - It's Apple Blossom Time, Tom Dooley, September Song, Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me, Autumn Leaves, I Love Paris in Springtime.

Session January 4 2014

http://longstreet.typepad.com/books/2010/12/when-.html

"They demand and receive total obedience."
by PV

Either something was completely awry, or I was witnessing an unprecedented conclave. Someone was minding the kitchen for sure and after that hiatus the maestroes would enter and put the finishing touches on the culinary delights being served in the heart of the bush to the King and Queen in celebration of their gracing the outback with their presence. From their relaxed stances in this photograph it was obvious to us, with regard to the cooks, that they demand and receive total obedience.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1198572/Find-odd-place-lie-face--Is-pointless-internet-craze-yet.html

"She anointed the Cherub and then had second thoughts."
by CC

Valerie had gone out for a walk. The season was turning and it was a little brisk outside, but she never minded the chill. It was the Cherub that had her worried. She thought about the Cherub incessantly. It upset her so much that she had taken to drinking, eating chips and then suspending herself over path markers until she burped. Once she burped, things always seemed so much better. One day she came home and went to the closet where the Cherub lived. It glowered at her from the birdcage in which she kept it. But today was the big day. She took the cage out of the closet, causing the Cherub to rub its eyes and blink. She opened the cage and took it out, setting in on a tufted ottoman. Taking a vial of peppermint oil from a nearby drawer, she anointed the Cherub and then had second thoughts as it suddenly grew 8 feet tall and hit its head on the ceiling, knocking itself out. When it fell, it broke Valerie's favorite lamp.

http://www.iup.edu/page.aspx?id=110230

"She opened the door and found a large praying mantis looking in at her."
By RMAF

The States 1-1-2014. In Colorado, Legalization of Marijuana.
It's bad enough seeing a large praying mantis but after attending a festive celebration of the Merry Weed party, I was not smoking the drug but my fellow pot smokers were blowing it all over the enclosed room. I was a second hand smoker, and that was enough for me. I went into the bathroom to throw up the lousy, greasy marijuana-laced cookies. When I opened the bathroom door, I saw two large praying mantis' dressed up in freaky Dance of the Dead costumes. I screeched in horror "Oh my God! What Pandora's box have the pot-smoking law-passers just opened up for nearly anyone to try?"

Session December 21, 2013

http://www.wwwebfun.com/funny-and-strange-sleeping-positions

"They were preparing for trouble."
by PV

I know it's that time of the year - fall, getting ready for winter - and nuts! I'm an expert pine conist. I can bite and drop hundreds of cones a day. My main problem is that after stashing the cones in perfect hiding places, I forget where I put them. Horror of horrors! My nearest of relations had been super busy despite their endless chattering. It was the arrival of those vagabond revelers from the south - those garishly tufted bandits who disdained working in the heights but instead - stole- yes stole our hard won gains. I'd warned Eliza about the upcoming battle. They were preparing for trouble. Still, what else could I do on this warm, fall day beneath a stripped pine? Snooze while one can, rest before going into the breach. A little early to sing, "I just go nuts at Christmas."



hotfunparadise.blogspot.com

 "There had never been so many of them in one place before."
by RMAF

I'm the girl in cowgirl boots, braids and cowgirl hat in Campo, California where my husband and I live on 40 mountainous acres out in ranchland country. My husband has a bulldozer and two tractors. He feels very in control and powerful riding upon the metal monsters. He loves to bury and cover things up - motorcycles, bikes, furniture, old rocks and bones, trash, dead farm animals, deceased pets, old trees, used barn straw - you know, everything he thinks we don't need anymore. But when I found this skeleton with his very nasty and bad stepfather's ring still on the fingerbone, he had gone too far. I tried to tell the very nasty and bad stepfather he should be nicer to us, but he would never listen to me.

http://www.worldfishingnetwork.com/community/post/conservation-of-wild-salmon-and-the-salmon-feedlot-boycott

"July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit."
by CC

Richard and Paul had married the same woman. Richard knew her as Linda while Paul called her Tilly. Her real name was Hortense but she liked playing the name game. And she liked playing the husband game too. One day she made a mistake with her calendar and both Richard and Paul met her at Starbucks for an espresso. Richard was upset at first but Paul thought it was a hoot. They ended up being good friends and didn't spend much time with Hortense. She turned to gardening in frustration and planted a plum tree early in the year. Paul and Richard were going out to Home Depot together and they started fishing too. They were spending all their free time together. Hortense felt bad, as if her little game had been turned against her. She brooded until summer. July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit. Then she packed her bags and left. Richard and Paul came home with a huge fish and found her gone. They baked a plum pie to go with the fish. It wasn't any good. Without Hortense, they didn't feel united in friendship any longer. Richard left. Paul threw out the leftovers which went smelly overnight. A feral cat knocked over the trashcan and finished off the fish. He was the reincarnation of a socialist English professor and wine snob who cheated on his wife. Somewhere in his tiny wildcat brain he thought Pinot Grigio would go well with this.

Session December 7, 2013

http://blog.allstate.com/wildfire-prevention-preparing-your-home/

"The odor got stronger on the porch as he knocked on the door."

by CC

Mac opened his window and sniffed. The wisteria was blooming and he loved the elusive scent. It reminded him of his years in Santa Fe - how every little hacienda was buried in wisteria vines from May to midsummer, when the heat knocked them back. He had been a firefighter then, and fought on the big Jimez Wilderness blaze. He was thinking about the beauty of the fire blossoming into rosettes of red and pink and yellow. He loved fire even more than he loved wisteria or Santa Fe. He smiled, thinking of the secret book he kept with newspaper articles and photographs of all the fires he had set.

Suddenly his reverie was broken by a noxious and foul odor that wafted in from the house next door. The Feathernoughts again! Those chemistry freaks were cooking up another disgusting Golem. He slammed the window shut and put on his gear. Shouldering the flame thrower, he went out onto the porch and crossed the lawn to the Feathernought's little saltbox. The odor got sronger on the porch as he knocked on the door. The door swung open. The Golem looked at him quizzically as he raised the flame thrower. Someday he would have to figure out how to put a camera on one of these.



http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2010/06/nasa_introduces_unfortunately_named_face_in_space_program.php

"He was a fighter, and he wanted war."
by GS

He was a fighter, and he wanted war. At first all had been rosy with bloody battles and sneak attacks, but then he was picked for the Checkmate Project. His assignment: Penetrate the enemy defense and detonate the X-Bomb. Suddenly he developed a conscience and wavered in his committment to destruction. The consequences had become unacceptable and he needed to find an exit which did not get him arrested for treason. The idea finally developed in his troubled mind. He would "accidentally" press his emergency eject button right after taking off so the X-bomb would detonate on impact in the ocean rather than over an innocent civilian population. When the big day arrived he was ready. The telescopic images of his ejection showed him smiling with satisfaction as he watched the remote explosion from the plane's crash into the ocean. After the court martial he was executed by firing squad for treason.



http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2013/05/08/the-wildplaces-cosplay-photography-project-first-batch-of-pictures/wild-places-10/

"Nothing had ever been so fulfilling."
By PV

Skeets looked askance down the slope. Her boots were hurting. Never thought that cross dressing would pose shoe problems, she thought that was behind her. But men's feet were different from women's. And her/his hair would not behave, not a usual thought for a guy. And the rest of the getup necessary for this adventure - well, usually in putting together a B grade movie there were oddities, but this was worse than mixing Finnegan's Wake and Walter Mitty. Still, the pay was good, and, unless one is a born comic, it is hard to get used to the idea that for a long moment in time, one was a complete ass. What would Jane Austen have thought? His existential diet had really changed. Nothing had ever been so fulfilling.



Session November 30 2013



http://www.redbubble.com/people/wildplaces/works/2526707-byron-beach-and-bike

"What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind."
by TNT

Surf songs - she coudln't pin it down, but it kept her thinking about the waves - how you ride waves of all kinds. Sometimes you wipe out. It's the balance you keep when you ride a board. It was religious. What was that song, she wondered? She couldn't get it out of her mind. "Jesus walks on water, he doesn't need a board, he looks like Captain Nemo but folk's just call him Lord. All the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. The sunrise is splended, the sea is glorified, but when you surf with Jesus, your soul is sanctified." That's it. She thought, I'll stick the words into an envelope and send it to the Beach Boys. She smiled as the boy on the bike with the basket passed her. His pals are Buddha and Krishna from long ago, because the Saints are surfers, One with the Cosmic Flow. That's it. It was done.

http://blog.africageographic.com/africa-geographic-blog/wildlife/wildlife-and-nature/are-zoos-good-or-bad/

"She felt inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug."
by RMAF

An Unhuman Hug.
The little girl went to Scripps Aquarium thinking she would quietly wander through the water world exhibit. Once she saw the floating hippo rubbing up on the glass next to her, time ceased to exist for her. She sat there studying the huge animal and felt it studying her. Then mental telepathy took over like a heavy opaque fog. She felt an inner peacefulness envelope her like a warm hug.



http://dinotoyforum.proboards.com/thread/3466

"I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get."
by CC
Garrh! Garrh! said Martin. Since he had become a Tyrannosaurus Rex, his speech problems had intensified. But his finicky tastes were, thankfully, a thing of the past. He had eaten his son Wilbur, his wife Doreen, and the entire Nielsen family next door, including their cat, all raw. He was proud of going all raw, and felt stronger and better for it. A VW pulled up and his old friend Henry got out. Henry looked at the yard and saw the big T. Rex standing there. "Haargh," said Martin, trying to call his friend to come closer. Martin was perpetually hungry these days. "I don't get it," said Henry. "There's a lot going on that I don't get." He was on his way back to the VW when Martin caught up with him.




http://www.cathyhartphotography.com/about/

"She left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home."
by PV

By now Frederick would have received the package. She was cozy and far away from the disaster zone. It was nice to have a minimum of distractions. The Alaskan pilot probably thought she was a bit bonkers, but as he unloaded her carefully chosen gear he realized that this women knew what she was doing. She even had a Malamute companion, for gosh's sake. After the plane left, Diane allowed herself a bit of reflection. The plane would pick her up in a week, more then enough time to ensure the movements of the wheels of justice to have begun - be they legal or cosmic. Frederick's downfall would be a long awaited comeuppance, one definitely cheered by the neighbors and those he had hoodwinked. Diange giggled. She had left it on the counter hoping he would see it when he came home. She hoped he got home early and it had not lost its freshness. Mitzie had perked her ears and nose up when Diane left the pile of shit on the counter.




http://www.travelization.net/2012/10/true-joy-of-thanksgiving-day-wallpapers.html

"There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month."
by LJD

There had been a number of suspicious incidents over the past month. No-one - not anyone - seemed to care. Indian women were dressing as Pilgrims and Pilgrim women were dressing as men. Letty was angry with Patty due to her lack of commitment in dressing as a man. After another swig of moonshine, Letty said, "How many times do I need to tell you that coal from the fire ring is what you need to draw sideburns or a mustache. If you do not want to go all the way, then you shouldn't play!"

Session November 16 2013




http://www.realistnews.net/Thread-5000-year-old-ufo-vimana-discovered-in-afghanistan-c2c-with-stephen-quayle

"Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through."
by PV

Finding the signal location was not easy, but they had traced it down to this cave in the Himalayas. Twenty four hours had passed since the fax first came through. The fax seemed straightforward, a bit jerky as if it had been sent under duress. The words were misspelled.

"Help mie, I need food and water, have been hier fer dayz. Stupid machine! xxxxx Sorey, bad manners. Please. I be small and hareless - is cold. Sincerely, sincerely, E.T.'s bruther."



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2234862/Tennis-ball-sized-Chinese-UFOs-India-edge.html

"Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she could live with it."
by TNT

I was at the Chinese-Myanmar (Burmese) border. I wanted to take a photo of my step dad Carl in his new outfit. He looked real snazzy and was grinning ear to ear. He looked like a movie star, I thought. He thought so, too, obviously. He was looking around at the other tourists to see them looking at him as he posed. Suddenly a guy in military uniform (maybe a general or higher status) came up to us and told me to quit taking photographs. It wasn't allowed, he said in Burmese. Then a tourist lady rushed up and kissed the Oriental general knocking off his hat. His hat hit her in the eye. Her right eye bothered her more than her left but she said she could live with it. The general tried to grab my camera but being short I held it up above his head. We laughed at that. He became really angry then and yelled at us in some Oriental language. He sounded like Donald Duck, and maybe we were stoned but it was hilarious. They tried to throw us in jail with the lady who kissed the general (the one with the black eye) until I explained that my step father was a famous TV actor and I was a lawyer.



http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/toy-story/images/33230429/title/strange-things-photo

"He felt like he'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning."
by RMAF

Toy Story
The Tinker Toy Twins loved to jump out of their storage cylinder whenver their boy owner left his room for school or went to bed for the night. The Tinker Toy Twins were ruffians, they would sock and box, they would slip and hit, they would romp and stomp until the moment the boy came through the door or woke up from sleeping. Then the Tinker Toy Twins would freeze, still and silent, to play the ruse of being wooden toys. Due to all the yelling and fighting, they both felt like they'd aged a hundred years since yesterday morning.

http://downloadfree-hdwallpapers.blogspot.com/2012/11/amazing-moths-with-multiple.html

"She had mixed feelings about going home too early."
by BG

She had mixed feelings about going home too early. There was so much to do and she didn't want to leave the others with all the clean-up work. On the other hand, she had calculated and knew it would be the day, so she didn't want to miss getting home to see. Her conscience got the better of her so she stayed a little while longer and did a few more chores around the butterfly conservatory. She was by far the most conscientious of her fellow biologists. They always seemed to expect her to do more than her share when they completed a project. This time she had her own side project and was anxious to see the outcome, so she did leave to get home. However, when she got there she wasn't early - she was late. Her project had already made its transformation. It became a bizarre-looking moth, not a butterfly.

http://sivers.org/mystery

"Lulu McPhulu hated her name."
by CC

She decided she wanted to be a nun when she was three. Her parents, who had a bizarre sense of humor, disapproved. They were practising Pagans and cound not grasp how their liberally raised daughter would gravitate to a rigid schedule, uncomfortable clothing and a loss of personal identity. But she grew up, never wavering in her decision, and the day came when she would take her place in the convent. Lulu got out of the car and walked away into her new life as Sister Debbie. Lulu McPhulu hated her name, but "Sister Debbie" was what they called her and she couldn't change it.

http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/feminist_art_base/gallery/Nancy_Floyd.php?i=2551

"Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners confusion."
by AD

Formerly of Mars, Vaulon Dkdk Stenpil always introduced himself as Albanian to spare his listeners, and was quite surprised when, even though he had been on earth for only two weeks, he had a date with the woman named Aria, an army recruiter. She was really nice for a carbon-based lower life form. We went out and had a normal earthling date - dinner, movies, a drive. I was surprised and nervous when after this date she took me to her home and told me to wait outside her room for a minute. Then she told me to come in and she was holding a rifle. Why? I asked. She told me, "You are an alien and I hate aliens. My father Estiban was an alien."

Session August 10 2013

Add caption

"Why did they do it? No one would ever know."

by CC

Melba was perplexed. She put down the newspaper and shook her head. Yet another cruise ship was in distress. Toxic germs sickening hundreds, plumbing backed up. Some of them even hit rocks and fall over sideways. Yet Don and Shirley Puckernutt, her sensible neighbors, had just made reservations on the Super Funliner! Then the phone rang. Melba picked it up. "Shirley, good morning!," she said, feeling a little guilty. "How are you?"  Shirley sounded tired. "Oh, Melba, I need to ask you a favor."  "Sure, Shirley. What's up?" said Melba. "Well, we have a hydroponic garden of...unusual... gourmet... mushrooms in our basement. Would you be willing to watch them while we're gone? I"ll show you how." "OK, Shirley," I said. And that's how it happened that 70 federal drug enforcement agents were chasing me through a cornfield three days later. I outran them easily since the mushrooms I'd been nibbling gave me truly amazing powers. So as I ran down the corn row, I was wondering about Don and Shirley on their cruise ship. It wasn't like them. Why did they do it? No one would ever know.

"Once you have begun this, take care to continue."

by CC

Lin-Wa Seikonan had received the knowledge of healing in a single burst of cosmic awareness between 3 and 4 a.m. on an August night 30 years ago. By now, she had forgotten most of it and was desperately hiding her ignorance by re-reading all of her old books. But very little made sense to her anymore. Well, she thought, I'll just have to make stuff up now. So she decided to create the Lin-Wa Bouncing Energy Pulsators, and needed people willing to test them. Ted and Moira Niftle were down and out and thought they could benefit both from the energy pulses and the $15 each that Lin-Wa paid them for the test. "Once you have begun this, take care to continue," barked Lin-Wa. The Niftles began to pulse and the energy balls started to move. Pretty soon they were at the edge of the park and disappeared behind the trees. Lin-Wa raced after them but tripped on a root and fell. When she got up, there was no sign of the energy balls. She knew she had lost her prototypes and $30 too. It was a bad day.

Add caption

"Ive got to admit, it all looked pretty messy."
by PV

Cecil was upset. After all, "oink oink"? What a demoralizing mask for the costume ball. Never trust a cat to be the Master of Ceremonies. I was hoping for something more dignified - Sherlock Holmes stalwart sleuthing canine conjuror. Of course, it could have been really bad, unimaginably worse. The luck of the straw draw for Master of Ceremonies could have fallen to Slith instead of Robespierre, the insufferable. Good thing there were a lot of blank pieces of papers at that part as well. For when Slith, the slimeworm, slipped a glutinous tentacle into the bowler's maw - I've got to admit, it all looked pretty messy. But I'm glad, at least I don't have to fly.

"Angelica could not make up her mind."
by PV

Good God, Hinda Ga Ra was roaring a camel's roar, and it didn't seem to affect anyone around. The mounts were stolid, thousands were kneeling, processions were coming from the horizon accompanied by a rainbow of dancers. Why do I, only I, hear Hinda Ba Ra, speaking across a gulf of time into the future of those gathered here? Angelica listened in and out of this time, frantically sorting destinies. Wasn't she the mogul princess, or maybe even a casteless dreaming drudge off the streets of Mumbai? A crystallization of selves was assembling and the final trigger was herself. Angelica could not make up her mind.

"Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?"
by AD

My friend Sasha and I have always wanted to be marine biologists and work with aquatic wildlife. After 10 years at college with our Masters Degrees, we finally made it. "Let's just cancel it," she said. "Who needs this stress?" For days we were trying to get a seal onto land for a study on mating behaviors,  and this was a very healthy looking female. We tried everything to get it onto land, using bait, even scaring it. We had been here for a week and it hadn't moved at all. Sasha had nearly gone mad from the stress and decided to net the creature when a bald, scrawny-looking man in his 50s swam out and grabbed it by the head and pulled it out of the water. It turned out to be a statue. The guy was a professional sculptor and puppeteer and had put it in the ocean to see if anyone else thought it was real. Sasha is in court on trial for assault with a deadly weapon after beating the man up with his own model.


"It didn't bother him, though everyone else seemed upset."

by AD

We were tired of Benjamin's smoking everywhere he went. No matter what he seemed to be sucking on a cigarette held permanently under his waxed handlebar moustache. We even had jokes that he slept with it like a baby and he used it like a candle at night. We were sick of the choking fumes on a bird watch we had Nigel make a cigarette using animal scat. He handed it to Benjamin. "Here," he said, handing it to him. "This is my own secret blend of tobacco." Benjamin switches it out with his cigarette and lights up. After a couple of deep puffs he looks up and says, "Very nice, very nice indeed. Magnificent, really." After seeing the disgusted looks on the people around him, he worried about his smoking habits.