Session August 30 2014

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"He ate noodle soup for breakfast every morning."

by PV

They actually were an outstanding act. Frederick did little directing for Sebastian could even respond to the slightest of hints. Sebastian himself could easily note and respond to the temperament of an audience. They were usually applauding in a standing ovation. Last week's performance with Brund, a particularly disastrous Burro, had everyone weeping and cheering - especially when Brund pulled a recalcitrant Sebastian across the fairground floor to face a menacing rat in gladitorial costume waving a spiked ball. Sebastian really didn't fake it. The last time they'd done - Fenx - their trained rat had a little too energetically swing the ball and the bloody thing had hit Sebastian on the nose. 

But today was the last straw. Frederick knew Sebastian. Always he ate noodle soup for breakfast every morning and yet this morning Sebastian had to eat porridge with some unidentified chunks of dubious carrion in it. Bah!

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"Elmer shouted "She stole it from me, that's how she got it!"

by BG

Elmer could not believe his good fortune. He lifted off and was flying with all his might to get away from all those moving machines with humans in them. They were dangerous. They had no qualms about smacking into any carrier pigeon that was flying too low and got in their way. He had spent days weaving in and out between them, looking for Gertrude when she went missing. He had almost given up, but decided to go out one more time. It was nearing the end of the day. There were a few others from the flock sitting about watching the machines pass back and forth. Most sat perched on tall poles and sat chatting among themselves and keeping clear of the busy area. Elmer was sitting down a bit closer, watching all the movement, when he spotted a bird on the ground. He swooped down. It was Gertrude. She was flatter than flat, without a smidgeon of life. What a shame! But, there it was right beside her. The machines had not even stopped to investigate. Herbert saw it too, but Elmer maneuvered down and scooped it up. Herbert yelled, "Why are you taking Gertrude's package?" Elmer shouted "She stole it from me! That's how she got it! It's mine and I am so overdue on delivering it.

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"He was either too early or too late."

by CC

Mr Buford Mouse kept a big clock on his wall. There were so many things to do, and so few hours in the day! He wanted to be healthy, he wanted to do the right thing, and he wanted most of all to be on time. However, it was incredibly important to start the day off right, even if it ate into his schedule later. He always started with a cup of tea. He loved his tea, he even loved lapping the cream out of the bowl, particularly with Rufus the cat sitting so politely beneath the tea-table. Rufus was porcelain now. The other Rufus, the bad Rufus, had been gone since summer. Buford had little to do with that, but he was sentimental, and when he could pilfer the tiny cat from the little girl’s room, he did. And now he quite liked his morning teatime with Rufus. Suddenly he remembered the clock! Oh my goodness, how the time had gotten away from him. All the other mice would be laughing at him when he arrived at the cheese tasting. No matter how he tried, he was either too early or too late. 

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"She was too afraid to open the door."

by RMAF

Mzzz Currie was the curator of the animal museum. The place was loaded with stuffed animals and other related objects. The evening before, when Mzzz Currie left the museum, the stuffed lion was on the bed on display. But something strange must have happened during the night. Before she unlocked the double doors she could hear a lion ferociously roaring. So she peeked through the crack between the doors and screamed Ye Gods! It's alive! She was too afraid to open the door. The only thing she could think of was the inebriated old geezer taxidermist Mr. Al Ways Goofingup must have given the lion a shot of anaesthetic instead of a shot of euthanasia. She hung the "Museum is Closed Today" sign on the doors and took the day off. She was a master at procrastinating. She did it every year on her taxes. 

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"Could there really be a hell?"

by RC

Sally and David were not your plain, follow the herd, type of couple. No, they had to do almost everything differently, adding their particular distinctive style. Now, this was mostly driven by Sally, but David was more than happy to comply with her wishes. Sally really enjoyed doing something in a way that no one else had ever done it. When she wanted to get married in a most unusual place and manner, he didn’t object, even though for him this was a little over the top.

Sally just loved this one place in the woods not far from town, and the beautiful sculpted rock formations. She said to  herself “No one that I know of has ever gotten married in a setting like that, especially in the way I will do it. She excitedly set up everything, and by necessity the wedding party and guest list had to be small. But, not too many of their friends (of which there were not many) were eager to traipse up the mountain anyway.

On the day of the wedding, their good friend and minister, Scott, stood on the main rock bluff, while Sally, David, and a courageous friend, Daisy, stood a ways off on a very small pedestal-like rock that wouldn’t have fit everyone. David had tried to get her to select a rock which was a little larger—and a little easier to scale get onto (to say nothing about a little less dangerous), but Sally would not budge from her original plan.

Everything went splendid until Scott said those classic words, “You may now kiss the bride”. David turned only a little, very carefully, but Daisy was eager to see the kiss and turned just a little bit too far. Her shoulder bumped Sally very lightly, but it was enough to cause Sally to reposition her foot in order to maintain her balance. Unfortunately, there was nothing there where she tried to put her foot down—while extending her neck for David’s kiss.

The last thing they all saw was Sally dropping away, over the cliff. Her face had an expression of dazed realization. Her first thought was Oh, well, we will never be joining those miserable people who divorce after a few years”. Her next thought was “Could there really be a hell?” And, as she plummeted quite a ways and was about to reach the bottom, she thought “They had better have some interesting activities there, if there is!”

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"He poured a drink and went to the window to watch the sunset."

by TT

The man was yelling. Perhaps he was stuck in the mailbox trying to retrieve a letter he had not meant to send. Perhaps he had received a phone call that had cleared up the matter and now he regretted what he had said. Perhaps the man thought he could reach the mail in the dark of the mailbox. Or maybe he had sent the wrong box and had to retrieve it before it was sent, or was it sent to the wrong address? Was it a token of his affection for someone special who had told him this morning that she was attracted to another? Well, maybe, or maybe not. Maybe he was merely stuck in there because he was an idiot. It was just too humiliating and painful to observe the man's struggle to retrieve the upper part of his imprisoned anatomy. Especially his head, where the flap had made retreat impossible. An hour or two passed. He signed, poured himself another drink and went to the other window to watch the sunset.