Session August 16 2014

http://funguerilla.com/images/funny-images/pets/pets10.jpg

"I don't want to go," Belle pleaded with Archie.
by PV

Archie nonchalantly licked himself as his significant other looked at him in distress. Fidgeting, wrestling with unfamiliar protuberances, sweating - who ever heard of a feline sweating? Ever since his superior planned this cockamamie mission to infiltrate the dog's stronghold via the home's irrigation canal, he had his doubts. Now Belle was the best and sharpest of companions and could ride the back of any dog inflicting untold clawed discouragements, but she drew the line at water. "I don't want to go," Belle pleaded with Archie.

http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20101213/640/amazing_old_photographs_640_01.jpg

"He regretted the whole fiasco until his dying day."
by RMAF

Owen Oregon decided years ago that he would leave society behind and go panning for gold, just him and his trusty dog, Ms. Rusty Red. They roamed the vast land for years, looking for gold.  He always made Ms. Rusty Red carry most of his stuff. He always wished he would find a female as good, faithful and loving as his dog. But that never happened for him. He regretted the whole fiasco until his dying day.

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2011/03/b599/08.jpg

"They ran until their legs ached and they gasped for breath."
by CC

They ran until their legs ached and they gasped for breath, then they collapsed into a heap on the ground. They must have run far enough – under the bridge and around the warehouse and out into the country to the back of this manor house. Mick rolled over on his back; he still had the wallet in his fist. Jerry sat up and whistled. “How much did we get?” he asked. Mick fanned out the bills; there was a fat wad of cash in there. Suddenly they heard voices. Scrambling to their feet, they ran up to the back side of the manor house and popped quickly through an open window.

Two young boys in Edwardian clothing looked at them goggle eyed. “What are they, Joffrey?” asked one of them to the other. “I rightly don’t know. But let’s not call Father,” Joffrey replied.

Outside, they could hear men shouting in the yard. Someone came out of the house and said no, they didn’t notice anyone, but the coppers could have a look ‘round to be sure.

“Here,” said Mick, thrusting the wallet at Joffrey. “We’re about the same size. Can we buy your outfits?” 

“Oh, with pleasure,” said Joffrey, stripping off his boots and lace. “Can you believe our luck,” he said to his brother. “Can we have YOUR kit?”

So the boys quickly swapped clothing. Mick and Jerry strolled casually out of the room and headed for the back door. They made it as far as the back fence when they were stopped by the copper.

“There they are,” he shouted to the other men rushing up. “These are the two who just killed their uncle!”

http://www.clippingdesign.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Most-Amazing-Photographs-63.jpg

"She was starting to irritate him"

by TT

Ingrid and Erik were an "item." They had known one another for several years. Only recently she was starting to irritate him. She whistled loud, two-fingered whistles when calling him. It embarrassed him in front of friends and neighbors. Once it startled him so that he fell in the pool with his bicycle. Someone took a photo of this and hung it in an art gallery. That was it! Erik had enough and broke up with Ingrid. Ingrid sniffled a little then whistled and earsplitting whistle right at him. It almost deafened him and he wobbled over to the bicycle and pedaled away as fast as he could. She laughed and went to the bar to pick up a new guy she just met. Everyone knew Ingrid was a slut and they all felt sorry for Erik.

http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20101213/640/amazing_old_photographs_640_32.jpg

"When the alarm rang, all hell broke loose."

by RC

He was finally coming to visit the troops! We really couldn’t believe it, even though we had been told that he wanted to see the action and get a first-hand idea of what we were up against. Personally, I thought it was a little risky for him. After all, he was the big guy and if something happened to him we would all be up that old creek without a paddle. And if the SHTF on that particular day, what would we do with him?

It was a real problem for our commanders, I’ll tell you that! However, they set up a stage in the middle of the encampment so that everyone could see him, and they stationed scouts far out around the camp and a double set of guards in close. We really believed that we had done everything possible.

On the day that he arrived, the troops were all eagerly waiting, sitting on the grass around the stage. Would you believe that no one there had ever seen Bozo the clown before? But, wouldn’t you know it, despite all the precautions of our big shots, the enemy broke through our ranks. The first thing we knew, the bugle was sounding. When the alarm rang all hell broke loose.

Of course, Bozo was speedily escorted out under heavy guard. Oh, did I say that President Lincoln had also come? It seems that he also had never seen Bozo, and after this event the clown was headed south. The President hadn’t wanted to miss his chance. Of course, we also saw that he was okay.

http://www.clippingdesign.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Most-Amazing-Photographs-34.jpg

"He ate it out of desperation."

by GS

Grandpa Chad suggested playing chess in front of a mirror so I could see the opponent's position frontwise as well. Since he is a grandmaster, I followed his advice, and sure enough, my play has improved! Of course, knowing both strategies at once made it a different kind of game. I started reminiscing about my last live opponent, before I had ever been committed. The game had stayed fairly even until I achieved a one-pawn advantage which led to my reaching the back row. On my next turn I would have a Queen and an easy victory! My opponent reached for my pawn and ate it out of desperation! I couldn't find anything in the rules which addressed the situation. It seems HE is the one who should be locked up here. After all, I only went insane from an inability to recover my pawn!

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7pM_IS9ZgRIx1m1tVuGj2OUOfP-ZvNDSdx3s5YkBxCvGqQNLYZxYJt5_Q2h3O58UilfHWrYPL8TgiEkb88WsR-L9vkg3LJ33XIcWVyIgv_wUvanuN0xZSK0IgeZjwxs6unZ2h4XxXkXc/s1600/amazing_animal_bird_photographs_4.jpg

"Well, he said. It's relative."

by BG

(waiting for text)