Session December 29, 2018

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Sometimes it works against our comfort to further the greater good.

By MD

Clyde was the most chauvinistic, sanctimonious, condescending man I’d ever met. But I was new to the job, he was my supervisor, and I knew I’d have to keep my mouth shut to keep my job. So it surprised me when he started flirting with me – not in an aggressive or obnoxious way; mind you – but actually gallant, in an almost chivalric way. Of course I was suspicious.

When he asked me out to dinner, I was torn. Should I go? I thought about it and finally I came up with a possible solution. 

“I’ll tell you what,” I said to Clyde. “I’ll have dinner with you if you can beat me at arm wrestling.” Clyde was surprised, but he agreed..

As we seated ourselves on opposite sides of the table and locked eyes, Clyde said “Sometimes it works against our comfort to further the greater good.”

“Go!” I cried. In mere seconds, I flattened his forearm on the table and held it there as I smiled at him. “I win!”

“You stupid bitch,” Clyde sneered. “You’re fired.”

“No, actually,” I replied to Clyde. “You’re fired. You didn’t know it, but I’m your bosses wife. I’m here undercover, and it’s my pleasure to put an end to your tenure here.” I smiled beguilingly at him. “Sometimes it works against our comfort to further the greater good. That’s my hubby’s favorite phrase too.”

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I packed one of my mother's suitcases and I went away.

by BG

Floyd had gone just too far now. I am all for having pets. Some of them can be fun to watch. Some can be enjoyable companions, others are useful to have around the house. Generally, Floyd has been very good about all the work involved in keeping them all healthy, fed and watered. Periodically,  I do pitch in and walk the dogs or feed the fish or water the horses. I enjoy hearing the birds sing and feel special when one of the cats chooses my lap to settle into and purr. But Floyd has now taken leave of his senses.

Last week he went off on a business trip and I was in charge of the menagerie. We had a fine time. They were all good, no mishaps, and I was really finding it pleasant to be surrounded by this animal family he had created. That ended the day Floyd came home from traveling with his newest additions. I am sorry but I see no way that I will ever consider them a part of my household. I advised Floyd that they were to be temporary visitors only and he would have to find them their next destination to visit very fast. I was going to get impatient very soon. 

Then, before a week had even passed, Floyd came home and announced he had a follow up business trip. 

I said "Take them back where you got them."

He said "I can't."

I said "They're not staying with me." I took one look at them staring at me, turned and shook my head "no" at Floyd. Then I packed one of my mother's suitcases and I went away.

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They walked slowly down the hill towards the lake, carrying their lunch bags.

By CT

Jason and Claire worked in the R&D department at the Quill & Ink Factory, Inc.

They were excited to present their newest project, the Retractable Ink Pen – RIP, for short. 

Their manager, Dean Quill, held their precious invention in one hand, pressing the button that retracted the pen point. 

“This will never fly,” he said. “People are used to using quills dipped in ink. They don’t like change. You can come up with something better than this.” He dropped RIP in a trash basket.

Jason and Claire, despondent, returned to their desks. 

“Wanna picnic by the lake?” Jason pointed at his and then her lunch bags. 

“Yeah, okay,” Claire said. 

They walked slowly down the hill towards the lake, carrying their lunch bags and a RIP prototype.

At the lake’s edge, Jason threw their pen into the middle depths, as Claire intoned, “RIP, RIP.”

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Flying driverless vehicles may take to the airways this summer.

By CC

“Flying driverless vehicles may take to the airways this summer,” read the headlines. The woman of the house faced away from the window as she scanned the paper. Behind her, in the mulberry tree, an owl peered over her shoulder and shuddered. No longer interested in watching the woman’s hair for potential movement, the owl retreated into the hole in which it had made its nest a few months ago. The children, who called their mother Hoo, watched her face with concern. Hoo, she called to her children, who all shared the same name, we have a problem. Flying driverless vehicles may take to the airways this summer. And you haven’t even learned how to fly yet. 

Hoo! Said one of them. Huh?  Asked another. No, I meant Hoo generally, Hoo as an exclamation of concern, OK? This is scary!  Hoo! replied the other, I get it. Me too, said another. What’s a vehicle, Hoo asked Hoo. Hoo replied, it’s what those creatures (she turned her head around to face the hole, indicating the house outside it) use to move around. They’ve always crawled before. Now they’ll be up in the air like us. Knocking us out of the sky before we can even find dinner!

Hoo looked at one another in shock. Hoo asked them all, now who’s worried about it? You? Or You?  Hoo, I’m worried, said one, then all the others cried hoo, hoo, hoo. They were scared, all of them. And it was hard work later for Mother Hoo to even get them to jump out of the nest on a trial basis. A year later, half the Hoos were still ensconced,  dependent on their Mother to keep risking her life to bring them food, which didn’t bother her too much as she was tired of laying eggs.

And, as it came to pass, flying driverless vehicles never took to the airways at all, and the upset amongst the Hoos was another example of needless worry caused by groundless fears.

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Geography became the servant of altruistic paternalism.

By RMAF

Seemingly, the U.S.A. has become the servant of altruistic paternalism.