Session August 25, 2018

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If your brain is on overload you can’t find happiness.

By CC

He had graduated college in 1982 with a degree in philosophy. Now he had just retired from Dunkin Donuts after an exceptionally long career at the drive-through window, where he had plumbed the very depths of philosophy in concise bursts of thought for so many years. It was time to write his book.

On the first day of retirement he hauled some of his old philosophy texts to a local Starbucks, feeling a sense of liberation. He had worn his best slacks and cardigan over a Banana Republic shirt. After so many years in the Dunkin uniform, he was not quite sure what a real philosopher should look like, but surely this would do for now. He found a tiny table by a window and balanced his coffee cup on top of the stack of books. Then he sat down, absorbing the view of trees outside the window (THIS was retirement!), and made the fateful move of crossing his legs.

When the table jostled. the hot coffee spilled down over the books and dripped mockingly onto his slacks. He sat there blankly for a moment, then, like a blitzkrieg of genius, a concise burst of thought arrived in his mind:  If your brain is on overload you cannot find happiness! He sat back and smiled. How very true! It was all worth it. Books could be replaced, even his slacks, if it came to that. But the wit and brilliance of his mind was a power to be treasured. He glanced around, wondering what impact he made on the other customers, but everyone studiously ignored him. 

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I hope you’re having a great day!

By BG

Ralph was on the Fun Committee at work. The employees chosen to be on the committee were charged with creating events to boost the morale of their co-workers. Sometimes it was easy and fun to plan things to do. They arranged for hot dogs at lunch on opening day of baseball season, got little flags for everyone for Flag Day in June, and just this month served everyone banana splits because someone found out it was National Banana Split Day. Next month, however, would be more of a challenge. They had voted to do a workshop day where each person was allotted a 20 minute time period to lead a little talk or presentation on how to keep your spirits up, think positive, and succeed in the tough work-a-day world with work hours increasing and vacation days getting cut. Ralph was okay with planning things, but getting up in front of people was not something he was looking forward to. He planned to start out by saying, “I hope you’re having a great day!” and realized he could add some audio-visual aids to keep his public speaking dread at bay. He would do his whole talk to the music of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and use smiley faces. After that it really ended being the Fun Committee.

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Little sunshine penetrated the Dismal Swamp’s trees and thickets.

By CT

They named her Sunshine when she was born. As she grew, her parents called her our Little Sunshine. The name stuck, so that even the townspeople called her Little Sunshine.

She hated it; oh yeah, she did. She couldn’t wait to grow up, move away, and change her name to something…hmmm…ADULT.

She wandered the bordering forests of the town, heedless of the warnings to avoid the Dismal Swamp. 

One morning, her walk took her straight to the swamp. Little Sunshine penetrated the Dismal Swamp’s trees and thickets. She tramped through the overgrown forest for an hour or more. She climbed over fallen trees, slogged through murky waters, and sweltered in the humid underbrush.

At the far edge of the swamp, she found a beautiful manor. She walked towards the front door, which opened invitingly. She stepped through the door into a wide room decorated in soft shades of white, gray and charcoal. A stairwell led to the second floor.

“Hello? Is anybody home?”

The manor answered and said, “You’re home, Little Sunshine. Be welcome.”

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I knew immediately that the question involved was a theoretical truth.

By TNT

The question? The question had one solution – one answer. But it wasn’t the answer or the solution that bothered me so much as the fact that every answer had a hundred more questions within the answer. That meant it had to be a theoretical truth – not an actual answer.

This made the quiz more difficult. It took five men in suits and ties to research and brainstorm. They each came to different doors to provide a theory that sounded truthful.  Each one of them assured me of their own sincerity, academic resources and mental acumen to solve this. Their combined efforts were indeed creditable. 

But each one contradicted the basic premise of the question. It was a conundrum, a paradox, an allegory that revolved around the truth without ever touching upon the fundamental point of truth when you could say “Aha!” or “Eureka!,” “Excelsior!” or whatever they say when a point is expostulated in extreme poignancy of revelation.

No, nothing like this had ever been discussed before and for good reason that there seemed to be no answer, no theory, no truth that could stand up and declare itself as the ultimate definitive answer.  So they decided it was unresolvable and could not be discovered by logic or reason. 

But of course there was an answer! They had overlooked one thing! They ignored it and completely misunderstood the reality of Natural instinct and emotional connection – yes, it had to be solved by a woman. It was simply the simplest truth of all. 

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The man is unable to take this path because he is frozen in sorrow.

By RMAF

A fellow climber from our rock climbing club, Solomon Nomolad – we nick-named him “Muscles” – was grief-stricken so we went out climbing to get his mind off his pet goldfish – Goldie’s - demise. 

Halfway up Tower Rock, Sol was unable to continue his rock climbing path because he was frozen in sorrow. Fellow climbers knew this was a terrifying thing to freeze up while climbing. We tried to urge him on, but to no avail. 

So I said, “Sol, when we get down I’ll get you a dozen goldfish!” Another climber said “I’ll buy you a new, bigger fish tank.” Another said, “I’ll buy you a new filter and colored gravel!” Another said “I’ll buy you some seaweed, a thermometer and cleaner fish for your tank!”

Sol was crying over his lost goldfish, Goldie. He took his hand off the rock and took the photo of Goldie out of his shoe and kissed it. He said, “I’ll be seeing you soon!” He let go of his other grip and fell, yelling “Goldie, I’ll be seeing you sooooooooon!”

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“Let me go!” she cried. “I have children at home!”

by MD

There’s a price to be paid for being beautiful, I can tell you. Followed everywhere, the object of everyone’s affection….it’s a rough life. After I reached maturity and laid my first nest of eggs, I began to grow more cautious – never wandering too far afield of that cluster of eggs, yet knowing instinctively I could not – in fact should not – attempt to monitor the hatching and burgeoning growth of my first family. Somehow, though, I wanted to be a part of it all, letting my little babies know I was there for them, instructing them in the difficult art of swallowing large prey whole and alive, and how to slither out of the old skin and feel comfortable in the new one. 

I was there for the first part. From under a rock I watched as my tiny, squirming hatchlings wriggled their way out of the shell and attempted their first, awkward coils. There were eleven of them hatched and I was absorbed in watching the twelfth egg pulsate and roll when it happened. As I crawled towards the egg to assist my tiny offspring inside, I failed to notice the young man crouched nearby, also watching this hatchling drama unfold. As I emerged from under the rock I saw him. He stepped back, obviously overcome by my beauty. Before I could beat a retreat, he swooped down and scooped me up, smitten, I’m sure, with my sinuous grace and my intricate scale-patterned skin.

“Let me go,” I cried. “I have children at home!”

The young man gaped in surprise at my words – few people, other than Adam and Eve, are privileged to hear a snake talk – but times were desperate and I did what I must to save my family. 

He absorbed the shock of my words as we made eye contact. Then again, I’m sure in recognition of my great beauty, he kissed me goodbye and put me down to return to my duties as a mother. 

Thank you, kind sir. May you be blessed to find a woman of your own whose beauty equals mine.