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Those who tamper with (natural) history are usually
frightened by it.
By RMAF
Years ago, “Big Jake” of the northern Montana woods found a
small red baby bear cuddled up against his lifeless momma. The little ball of
fur was crying and hungry.
“Big Jake” tromped through the snow to get a closer look at
the scene. The momma bear had died from the arrow shot into her chest. “Big
Jake” had sympathy for the little critter’s plight. He picked him up talking to
him in his deep, fatherly voice. “You’ll be alright, “Little Red.” I’ll feed
you and help you grow up some and release you back into these woods some day.”
He carried the little fellow for miles until he arrived at his log cabin.
All of “Big Jake’s” friends who came by to visit and see
“Little Red” told “Big Jake” “You are a fool to do this, that sweet little
thing will grow up some day and it will be a huge, mean thing! And when he is
hungry, he may have you for dinner!”
But “Big Jake” seldom ever listened to others’ wisdom for he
was his “own man.”
Like nature does, the little bear grew into a big bear, four
feet taller than 6’5” “Big Jake.” So a few years later, when springtime came,
“Big Jake” looked up and told “Little Red” “It’s time I changed your name to
“Big Red” and it’s time you must go back to your woods.”
“Big Red” stood up on his hind legs and roared louder than
thunder. “No way, “Big Jake,” my human poppa! Now, “Shrimpie,” what’s for
dinner?”
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They saw themselves not as conquerors but as emancipators.
By CC
There was nothing wrong with feeling peppy. She took another
swig, taking care not to drip on her starched nurse’s costume. It took time to
practice the double-fisted guzzling technique, but she didn’t mind, as every
glass made her feel just that much better. This was a product in which she
could believe. The company saw themselves not as conquerors but as
emancipators. And she could get behind that 100 percent.
Later that evening, after her energetic huckstering
performance had ended, she took off the uniform at a dead run on her way to the
bathroom. But when she came out again, she felt even better. What a remarkable
product. She had another two glasses, using the two-fisted technique she had
perfected. She was emancipated from dinner. She was emancipated from all food.
She could sing and dance all night!
The next morning even though she wasn’t working, she put on
the Nurse’s uniform and went out her front door carrying a small red cooler
advertising the miraculous product. A man walked past her, giving her a
pleasant smile. She thrust out a drink towards him and said, “Quality you can
trust!” He took the drink, sipped it and said “This stuff will rot your teeth
and give you diabetes.” Still smiling, he poured the rest on the ground.
She stood stock still on the sidewalk, staring at the man,
unsure whether he had just given her the blow that awakened her mind, or
whether she should throw the other glass of product in his face. Come to think
of it, her teeth did hurt a little bit already. Maybe she should go back home
and work on her résumé.
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So much of our experience depends on our point of view.
By MD
Harold and Gerald’s dad fancied himself a mad scientist. His
boys were his guinea pigs, and there was always something brewing in his brain
which he was sure his sons would love to participate in. And he was right about
that – Harold and Gerald did enjoy being part of their dad’s schemes to
contribute to the betterment of humanity through science.
Until, that is, the day he awoke the boys early and
instructed them to dress in their best clothes and be sure their bow ties were
tied securely around their necks. Obedient as always, the boys complied and
then sat patiently while he placed the darkened goggles over their eyes and
affixed the colander and copper wired helmets to their heads.
“I had you wear your bow ties because you always put them on
crooked,” their dad said. “All boys do. But this invention will take care of
that.” So saying, he hooked Gerald up to the battery and flipped on the switch.
Immediately, his bow tie twitched and shivered until it was perfectly aligned
under Gerald’s chin.
“You’re next, Harold,” the mad scientist dad chortled. What
he didn’t realize was that with the boys sitting so close together, the
electric current had passed from Gerald to Harold and now both boys were
stunned to insensibility. But Harold’s tie was still crooked. “Ah, well,” the dad
sighed, “so much of our experience depends on our point of view. At least my
experiment sort of worked.” He sat staring at the boys for about an hour until
they both came to. “Okay, he said. “Let’s try that again.”
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Plato wrote in The Statesman that Earth’s poles shifted after the gods left the earth.
By BG
Being an avid admirer of Plato’s works and a believer in his wisdom as well, Marvin spent much of his time giving talks about Plato. He went far and wide, speaking in all of the venues in the cities that would engage him for the miniscule fee he charged to help him get by, and then in the countryside where he found little churches or grange meeting houses where he would give his talks for free. Folks all over found him quite a charismatic speaker. A part they particularly liked was when he stated that Plato wrote in The Statesman that Earth’s poles shifted after the gods left the earth. He then brought out his most famous visual aid to demonstrate the change in the Earth. He advised the audience to ponder that thought and gave his Earth a big kiss to end his talk. The crowd went wild with applause. No one “did Plato” like Marvin! He bowed, and offered a glimmer of a smile, then packed the earth off to his next destination.
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Their minds were shackled by superstition and an exaggerated
veneration for the past.
By CT
Rod & Eleanor had planned their holiday to the nth
degree. They would visit their parents’ birthplaces in Kentucky (Rob) and
Vermont (Eleanor), using surface roads only. They felt using freeways would
hinder their explorations. They wanted, as much as possible, to feel the
essences of the past.
They were careful to use routes without double or – horrors!
– triple sixes. If they saw a black cat by the roadside, they crossed
themselves. Any mention of witchery caused them to tremble and cross their
index fingers as a ward-off. Their families would never have been part of such
sorcerous stuff.
Sadly, their minds were shackled by superstition and an
exaggerated veneration for the past.
As they drove along a lovely road with manicured hedges and
trees whispering in the slight breeze, Eleanor startled at the sign she saw and
screamed “Satan’s work!” She became so disturbed that Rod had her admitted to
the nearest hospital. Tranquilizers failed her. She spent the rest of her life
in a mental hospital, staring at a blank wall.
Rod divorced her within two years, married Sarah (his
mistress of five years) and lived unhappily ever after.
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