Session July 1 2017

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Each flower will have its own intricate relationship with sunlight.
by MD

Harold had always looked up to his brother, Bob, both literally and figuratively. As children, the two had been inseparable, but when puberty hit, Bob's burgeoning height made Harold a little jealous. Especially since Harold himself was abnormally short. At times he wondered if they might have had different fathers. His mother only smiled enigmatically when he questioned her about it.

The jealousy abated for Harold when it became obvious that Bob's height gave him no athletic advantages (except being able to change the net on the basketball hoop), and Harold had certainly inherited the brains in the family. So Harold pursued a career in business, and supported his brother financially and as a caretaker. 

After several years of this, Harold began to resent Bob. Not only was he tired of craning his neck to converse with his brother, he began to harbor the impression that Bob was always looking down on him - figuratively as well as literally. It bothered Harold so much that one day he confronted Bob, stared up into his brother's eyes, and said "I'm tired of being your sole support and I'm sick of the way you're always looking down on me."

Bob met his brother's gaze, but he couldn't accomplish this without looking down. "I get it," he told Harold, "but it's like my guru always tells me, 'Each flower will have its own intricate relationship with sunlight.'"

Harold snorted. "Well, I'm getting out of your shadow right now. Tell your guru (who, by the way, serves you by my largess) the gravy train has stopped and you both have to get off." With that, Harold gripped his briefcase, turned and strode away. It was the last time the brothers saw each other.

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I did not know at the time it was classified information.

By CC

Lucinda Barrow had been inducted into the FBI as a secretary three months before being assigned to a new, high security department. She was dismayed that her boss, Matthew Hoerner, seemed to be an old school macho pig who kept looking at her “that” way. She thought back to her college days; it nearly set her brain on fire that someone like him could even exist anymore. Wasn’t there some genetic program they could use to eliminate that kind of man? she fumed. But clearly it wasn’t available yet, and she needed this job so set about doing it as best she could, without responding to him. 

Matthew Hoerner, on the other hand, did not consider himself to be attracted to her at all. He considered her to be a security risk. Sure enough, five months later she blew it. “I did not know at the time it was classified information,” she told him tearfully in his office. “That man at the coffee shop seemed so interested in it!” Suddenly she felt a strong attraction to her boss blossom in her heart, and was instantly confused. She didn’t know what to do anymore, but she knew she loved him! 

The next day she was both fired and forced to enter the witness protection program. She ended up named Bertha Kramer, “wife” of Benjamin Kramer, who was really Troy Matthews, a gay man who couldn’t really stomach being anywhere near her, but was grateful enough to play his role.  Matthew wouldn’t even come to their wedding, which made Bertha cry. What a fool she had been! But she put on a happy face anyway, because it was a pretty wedding, she loved the dress and hair style they had given her, and you just had to have the right attitude for things to work out well.

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No therapist could help him.
by RMAF

Some people say that Anthony Don Robert Eugene - "Skippy" for short - was a goof off. The reason why he had so many different names is because he had so many different personalities. 

He was fifty-five years old and still living with his mother and living off his mother's social security check because he thought working a job took up too much of his precious sports on TV and beer time. He has been divorced six times. Every time he told his mother that it was his wife's fault. 

He fathered a dozen known children and some others - but "Skippy" wasn't counting. He was not paying any child support, either. Thus - is how he got his name "Skippy." 

So when he was not at home mooching off his poor and worried mother, he went to the lake to hide out from all his ex wives and the police. He couldn't afford a boat so he made a fake swan to float around in. 

He has been to dozens of therapists but since he never listened or paid his therapists' bills they declined his visits as a total waste of their time. It was OK with "Skippy" that no therapist could help him, because he knew and his other personalities knew in their hearts that there was nothing wrong with them - it was the rest of the world that was all messed up!

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They decided to break away, form their own business, and get married.
by BG

We met this couple while I was on vacation in Baja. Nice folks, seemed quite like regular honeymooners that one would find in the nice beach and sun atmosphere found in this part of the world. They were staying in a cabana about six or seven palm trees down the beach from us and pretty much kept to their newlywed selves. 

However, the resort scheduled a big event with a barbeque, music and dancing, games and a big bonfire and fireworks to end the evening, so we had an opportunity to meet the people. 

Well, you would never guess, but when we all sat down together, they introduced themselves as Romy and Julio. Hmmm. Just wait, it gets better! They did indeed confirm our suspicions that they had just gotten married. They added that they felt so fortunate. Of course we asked why, so for the rest of the evening we got the full story. They started out by saying they decided to break away, form their own business, and get married, which sounded pretty average, but as they expounded upon these key points we discovered that they just should have passed out copies of the book - yes, that's the one, Shakespeare, you guessed it - Romeo and Juliet. You never know, right?