Session December 3 2016

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“If you’re smart, you’ll get out of here with me,” he said.

By CC

They had worked for years on time travel. Deep in the basement of Trent’s house, their laboratory whirred and bubbled, condensed and extruded, emitting the occasional bang that shook the house. However, since they had slain their parents a decade ago, as twin 6 year olds, they now had the place to themselves.

At least they thought they had slain them. It was their first time travel experiment in the precipitator. It was quite possible that they had succeeded, though, and just sent them somewhere. Neither Trent nor Kent ever thought much about that. It dimmed their enthusiasm for the Grand Experiment coming this very night, after a decade of intense study and lab work.

The time came when they stood in the precipitator themselves. Of course it had been reworked and refined many times since the parental extinction event. So it was much safer. “You ready,” asked Kent tersely. “Yah,” replied Trent succinctly.

Suddenly they found themselves in the Galapagos inside of bird bodies. “Hey are these seagulls? They don’t look like seagulls,” Kent said, but it came out “Waack  waack waack.” He looked at Trent in amazement. Maybe that wasn’t even Trent. He had no way of knowing. The other bird perked up, said “Waaack waaack waaack,” and took off flying.

Of course it really was Trent. He had an idea. “If you’re smart, you’ll get out of here with me,” he said to what he thought was Kent. Of course it didn’t come out that way. But he lifted up and flew over the bay towards the boat he saw on the horizon. Unfortunately it was a Galleon. No more Minecraft for them. No more hands either.

Suddenly a fish leaped far below. Never had Trent seen anything so enticing. He just had to have it! He dove down quickly and floated on the surface of the ocean. Pretty soon a flotilla of his kind had joined him. One of them was probably Kent. But maybe not. Anyway, the fish were plentiful and Trent soon had a full belly.

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We need an arbiter who is not on anyone's side.

by MD

It certainly wasn't what anyone would term a match made in heaven. Ian, a lifelong bachelor who had devoted his life to hunting, came late to the realization that it would be a fitting finish to his sunset years to have a helpmate by his side. For her part, Bambi recognized that her life in the circus was not a fulfilling one, and it was time for a life change. So the match-up which was acquired for them through "e-harmony" seemed ideal.

Because both parties were of advanced years, Ian and Bambi determined to skip the courtship part of their relationship and proceed directly to the wedding. That's when the problems began. When Ian viewed Bambi in her bridal finery, his first instinct was to return to his car for his hunting rifle. When Bambi spied Ian's headgear, she was horrified by the loss of avian life which its embellishments represented. But the guests were in place, the music started, the minister waiting at the altar. 

The bride and groom joined hands and Ian plastered a sardonic smirk on his face. "We need an arbiter who is not on anyone's side," he whispered to his bride. 

"Ya got that right," she replied. Directly after the ceremony, the two went on-line to research arbitration services. They are still searching.

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He steered her out of the elevator and started talking to distract her.

by RMAF

He steered her out of the elevator and started talking to distract her. And Cupid shot it's invisible arrow through both of their hearts and before they knew it, they were slow and close dancing in the park. Instant true and warm love is rare. It can strike almost anywhere. And it struck them today - a bolt of awesome lightning seen far away beyond the city skyscrapers.

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They could have been mistaken for businessmen

By RC

Ernie and Sam were partners, and when I say “Partners,” I am not indicating any larger relationship between them, except that they really were inseparable. Ernie was wheelchair-bound, and although his chair was motorized, he preferred that Sam push him. This was not usually a problem for his partner, because Sam was an obliging fellow. Besides, they both thought that the speed of the chair was minimal, at best, and liked to see how fast they could go when they had a suitable surface. Sam was very muscular and had loved to race from his youth, but now he had no car, so the wheelchair was his “vehicle” for the purpose.

Now, quite often when the two went out, they could have been mistaken for businessmen. Sam wore a suit and tie and Ernie at least had a pair of slacks and a sport coat. And they would buy all the cool gadgets for running an office—this was Ernie’s obsession; he had literally ever modern piece of equipment for faxing, copying, calling, word processing—you name it.

But on one particularly cold day, they were dressed casually, and Sam had put on his running shoes, because he had an idea; he intended to break all previous speed records. You see, a new Walmart had come into town, and this one was reputedly the largest and grandest ever yet put in. One isle was a full eighth of a mile long. However, Ernie was just as excited as Sam, because not being able to get out of that chair, except to sleep, really built up a lot of tension. It was the very definition of boring.

Of course, they were asked when it was over to leave the store and never come back—in fact, the request was accompanied with the threat to call the police on sight.  Ernie thought that was all right, because they had broken the speed record for wheelchairs many times over; besides, they would come incognito the next time.

Sam, on the other hand, from his prone position on the floor behind the chair, his fingers gripping the lower bar, muttered, “Just go, Ernie. I’m fine right here. But, try not to break any records on the way home.”

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Everyone was busy, so I went to the movie alone.

By TT

The bus wasn't running - they were all on strike. Most people who had motorcycles and bicycles went to school or work mingling in the traffic that day. Everyone was busy so I went to the movies alone. As I walked down the street I noticed two strange gentlemen. One had a carriage whip and a rope around the other man's neck. 

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"We are performing street artists and this is our Act."

"What act?" I said.

"I'm the horse and I'm the driver," they said in unison. "We are making a statement about public transportation, you see."

"Oh, how is that?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?"

I scratched my head. 

At that moment the man with the rope around his neck shook his head, picked up his baskets and walked off awhile. The other man sat with his whip and rope in hand on the bus stop. The bus still didn't arrive. I went to the movie. One of the street actors was there as well. We smiled and nodded at each other but didn't speak.