Session August 29, 2015

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 “It’s not rocket science, after all,” he said to the crowd. “If we can do it, so can you.”

by RC

Dave and Joe were more or less average eighteen year olds, willing to try anything once and sure that whatever bad happened to anyone else, it wouldn’t touch them. They were always trying something new, something dangerous, and something no one had ever done before.

When they came up with their last exploit, I have to say, it was a doozy! It involved scaling a very high rock wall, but not the way rock climbers normally did so. It so happened that this rock wall had been carved out by some ancient Indians in the southwest long ago. They had put some very strange lines of holes in it. Later on, someone had conceived the idea of fastening a giant chain in each of the major holes, as a means of getting back and forth. They had also added boards, where the wall was less than substantial for foot support. Since there was a mine at the top of the mountain of rock, Dave supposed that was why someone had done this.

Anyway he and Joe decided that they could capitalize on this setup for profit. Besides adventure and fun, they were always thinking about how they could turn a buck. I think that it is quite amazing they got anyone up there on the wall with them, but then there are always the gullible sorts; and the promise of gold at the end of the rainbow—or in this case, the end of the catwalk—will often cause a person to jettison good sense.

When they had their group, all went well, until it came to the last two turns. At the first, the sight of the boards was a bit too much for some of them. “Come on,” Dave yelled back. He couldn’t quite understand their reluctance. He went back to the group, as he and Joe were a ways ahead.

“It’s not rocket science, after all,” he said to the crowd. “If we can do it, so can you.” With that, he started out again, ahead of everyone—just him and Joes. One particular board, however, proved not to be capable of supporting their weight, and just when they were changing grips from one chain link to another.

The group watched for a long time as their bodies plummeted to the canyon floor beneath. They made hardly any discernible splash from this elevation.

“I think the boy was right,” someone said casually. “If he can do it, we can too. I think I’ll just find my way back down to ‘terra firma’.” But he was not alone. It seems that everyone had decided that they didn’t really care for gold after all.

“You can’t take it with you,” one of them commented.

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"Louis and Luisa married on Valentine's Day and divorced on the Fourth of July."
by TNT

At first their marriage seemed ideal - it was very romantic. She wore white and he wore red and everyone wore a carnation of red or white on their hats or lapels. He brought his two children from his former marriage as flower children throwing white and red rose petals on the carpet. She brought her toddler who was just beginning to walk and talk. He was a bright little lad who smiled at everybody. Very charming. Their marriage was blessed by the Grandparents on both sides. 

Their honeymoon in Florida was wonderful except her toddler climbed over the railings  and went to pet the crocodiles. He wasn't a bit afraid. Everyone said how brave he was when the crocodiles ate his legs. The toddler died, of course, and that is why Louis and Luisa divorced. Luisa blamed Louis for not saving her boy. He was only concerned about his own children who almost followed the toddler into the crocodile exhibit.

Luisa said it was apparent Louis only cared about his own children and not hers so when they divorced each other on July 4th scarcely five months later - they set off fireworks to celebrate the divorce. He wore white and she wore black. The Grandparents on both sides cursed each other and the ensuing brawl was recorded in the newspapers.

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"She plugged her ears with her fingers as the engine roared."
by PV

It was almost deathly quiet over the fjords. It had been a simple exercise, they thought. The lift had been engaged, but the rock resisted. Even its groaning seemed like earthly torture. We all knew the rock had to be removed to eliminate danger to the log railway below. Geneva was next to the pneumatics. She plugged her ears with her fingers as the engined roared, straining. the rest of the crew got impatient and ran to the edge of the rock mass. Their jumping up and down on it made no difference. Geneva shouted, "Once more everyone!" A scream tore through the rock - crack - more screaming. To this day, she doesn't know how they all survived as the rock shot out beneath them like a squirted pumpkin seed.

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I am so happy!
by RMAF

"I am so happy! Once again, I outswam the whales and fishermen! Spraying the cooking spray all over my body really helps with my swimming speed!

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"Don’t forget me! she cried out the window as the car pulled away from the curb."

By CC

Sergei lifted his binoculars and watched the dust trail of the motorcade as it wound down the narrow Tibetan road. Curse this frozen outpost with its stupid little red-robed monks trotting around casually like it was a day at the beach. Sergei’s ribs shivered under the thin regulation undershirt he wore beneath his uniform. Curse his stupid assistant Mai Yei WuFang! “Don’t forget me!” she cried out the window as the car pulled away from the curb. The stupid girl! Sergei kept scanning the horizon until he was sure the officials were gone. Thank God they hadn’t heard her.

He spun around, and caught her quickly lowering the binoculars. “They forgot me again,” she whined at him through the open window.

“Close that window now,” he barked at her, his mouth still in the tight little frown it had worn all morning. Now and then he felt a little guilty at being so rigid with a dumb country girl, but today he was furious. She could have jeopardized his career! And he just had to get promoted out of this hole.

Inside she sat facing the wall, radiating misery. He would have to straighten her out. “WuFang,” he said with stern authority, “They did not forget you. They don’t even know you. They wouldn’t take you with them if you paid them a billion yuan. Nobody likes you, WuFang. You are a just weak willed woman swayed by emotion. You lack a sense of duty.”

WuFang spun around and cried, “You the stupid one!” She threw her cup of hot tea in Sergei’s face. He sputtered and backed away. She stood up and threw her wooden stool at him, too, causing him to back out of the building. He could feel his scalded face freezing in the bitterly cold noonday air. Then he saw a dust trail in the distance. Oh, no – they were coming back!

He ran inside and tried to swat WuFang but she darted away like a mouse, too quick for him. He dried his face, straightened his uniform and went outside.

The Commandant drove up and leaned out his window. A blast of warm air heated the patio where Sergei stood at attention. “Comrad Sergei,” the Commandant said amiably, “Can you believe it! We forgot WuFang!” A back door in the transport opened while the girl scuttled out of the building and climbed in. “I think our brains froze up here,” said the Commandant as the window rolled up. “Try to stay warm, Sergei.”  He could hear them laughing as the window snicked shut.

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"Harold went to the movies by himself every week."
by GS

The trip had been going well for weeks. The scenery through the Ozarks was magnificent, and the less-traveled side roads had little traffic. At lunchtime one day I stopped in the only shady spot on the crumbling dirt road. My bus was probably too large to ever be there, but I enjoy adventure. 

Suddenly a truck appeared behind me and nearly went over the edge as it slid to a stop. A man got out the passenger side and came to my window. He introduced himself and requested assistance getting his vehicle back on the road since he would be late for the matinee if he were stuck there. Harold went to the movies by himself every week, and didn't let road mishaps deter him, he explained. 

I was dubious about my ability to help but he explained how to use his come-along so I gave it a try. 

As we slowly winched him back on the road, the anchor tree came out by the roots and Harold and the truck went over the edge to the river far below. His movie going streak had just ended with a grand finale!