Session January 31, 2015

http://www.chroniclebooks.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/3egg2.jpg

“It’s not hard to shoplift,” Ricky told his brother. “I’ll show you how later.”

By RC

“It’s not hard to shoplift,” Ricky told his brother. “I’ll show you how later.” He actually whispered this as he looked at the book in front of the librarian’s desk. An egg is colorful, the title of the page stated, and below were so many different eggs to prove the point; polka-dotted eggs, blue eggs, yellow eggs, gray eggs, and about every other color, including of course brown eggs. There was everything but striped eggs. The book was only part of the display which the library was hosting, including the real thing: eggs of every description.

Now, Ricky was not really interested in eggs, but he wanted to prove to his little brother just how easy it was to shoplift. At the moment, the librarian was talking to everyone who had gathered from the surrounding farming community about the eggs.

It wasn’t long before the gathering kind of broke up a little and people drifted away. That was when Ricky went into action. With no one noticing him, a dozen eggs went inside his tee-shirt, and then he tucked it into his pants.

“See?” he said. “So easy, like taking candy from a baby.” Just then, a rather rotund lady who had just come in rushed up to the front to see the exhibit, passing Ricky as she did so. Naturally, he backed up from the counter. But then the lady gasped.

“Some of them are gone!” she said. It so happened that she was the major donor of the eggs. As she backed up in panic, she bumped into Ricky, and he heard a kind of sickly cracking sound. After that, a liquid began to run down his pants.

“So easy,” his brother Fred, muttered. “So easy.”

http://payload168.cargocollective.com/1/9/300327/5678599/dog_o.JPG

"I want to be a dentist," he told her. "I knew it when I was just a kid."
by GS

His dog-walking job didn't pay much, but he met lots of women who were attracted by the dog, so he kept at it. Conversations sometimes led to phone numbers, and then occasionally to dates, and once even to a tryst. Nevertheless he had other ambitions.  Today's encounter with a dental assistant walking a Doberman next to his 8 pound mutt reminded him that "I want to be a dentist," he told her. "I knew it was when I was just a kid." That revelation titillated the Doberman's minder so she invited him for coffee. With her encouragement stemming from her similar childhood fantasy, he soon graduated from dental assistant school and approached his ultimate goal. Unfortunately a late night visit included the Doberman's mangling his hand, and ending all hope of a dental career!

http://www.nsmbl.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/King-of-Herrings-Ten-Eccentric-and-Unique-Organisms-600x400-300x200.jpg

"I hate Monopoly," she whined. "It's such a boring game. Don't you play cards?"
by PV

Some beginnings are just strange. Albert was on a cruise ship filled with individuals seeking variety in their lives. The card table in front held a stack of games - Clue, Easy Money. Across from him sat a stunning blond. She looked up to him evidently hoping for an interesting Daddy Warbucks. "I hate Monopoly," she whined. "It's such a boring game. Don't you play cards?" "As a matter of fact, I do," he replied.  "My favorite game is Fish, but in my eccentricity I opted for something more realistic. In fact, if you look to the shoreline you will see my bragging deck in my crews' hands."

http://www.top10pot.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Michel-Lotito.jpg

Nobody told them they couldn’t go out that way, so they did.

By CC

Arturo ate a lot of metal. He was convinced it aided his machismo, but he had enough sense to keep those kind of thoughts to himself. It was difficult enough to eat the metal without anyone noticing, so he had to resort to secret eating at times. One day he was late to work, and found himself sitting behind a motorcycle with flashing yellow lights, beyond which were 30 cyclists, their little behinds pumping for all they were worth, clad in bright geometric designs. Arturo watched them glumly for a moment, but suddenly he caught the flashing sunlight as it bounced off 60 wheels with rotating spokes. He became unspeakably hungry as he recognized the feast before him. Suddenly the cyclists turned in mass, like a flock of sparrows, or a swarming hive of bees, and raced up a side road. Nobody told them they couldn’t go out that way, so they did. Arturo took the opportunity and raced around the motorcycle to the front of the pod of cycles. He leaped out of his car, threw a cyclist to the ground and began chomping on the spokes of his bike’s wheels. It was good. He enjoyed the crunch between his teeth. He was feeling stronger. His left eye had become enormous already, a clear sign of positive changes. He would have taken down another bike but the herd had passed already.

http://anyasgarden.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/13-Interesting-Facts-about-Dreams-bubbles.jpg

"They drove recklessly through town, eventually crashing into a line of mailboxes."
by RF

There was a new mode of transportation in the world developed by the Bazooka Bubble Gum company - huge bubbles to glide through the air on. These modes of transportation were delightful to look at but really hard to keep your balance on and steer. The inevitable was bound to happen. Teresa, Barbara, Rose and Christina got hit by a gust of wind. They drove recklessly through town, eventually crashing into a line of mailboxes. Christina said to her flying friends "I wonder if I go back to the car dealer if I could buy my old car back."

http://designtaxi.com/userfiles/articles/101968/thumb/shutterstock_78730003.jpg

"Larry saw a cop at the corner and ran into a shop to hide."
by TT

Larry saw a cop at the corner and ran into a shop to hide. Fortunately, it was a shop that had novelty items. Larry ran into a booth for changing clothes. He grabbed a wig and make-up. But his clothes! They would certainly mark him. He couldn't be arrested again. What would his parents say? But there were no clothes that would look like he was a normal shopper. So he applied as much make-up as he could, even fluffing the wig so when the cop ordered "Come out of there!" he emerged in balloons and sashayed to the elevator music. To the astonishment of the cop and the shopkeeper, the other clients applauded as he wiggled his fanny and winked at the cop. The cop was so embarrassed that he backed out of the shop with a red face.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y3xq4 E5RVE/T9YQhm7FDZI/AAAAAAAAAPo/sKUoSEPgrSw/s1600/most+amazing+pictures-4.jpg

"She loved her privacy more than she loved Norman."
by BG

Clarabelle gave him a big smooch on the kisser. Winter was coming and she wanted to be on her way. She had a brand new hollow in an old oak tree that she wanted to fix up and settle into for hibernation. She wanted to quickly whisk away before he asked to accompany her. She loved her privacy more than she loved Norman.