"Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try."
by BG
The voyage had started out wonderfully: a true adventure of a lifetime! There were years of careful planning and calculating, scrimping and saving, and finally the time had come. After all aspects had been considered, the date was chosen and they weighed anchor. The weather was perfect - calm water and clear skies. Excitement was in the air. They approached the longitude and latitude they had agreed upon, but found nothing on the horizon. What was amiss? Bob and Nancy decided to give it another try. They set their sights a few degrees to starboard and increased the speed a few knots. Soon they were successful. Full speed ahead, batten down the hatches and fire those cannons! Their lifetime dream of a pirate attack became a reality.
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| http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_727_17-photographs-from-history-that-would-explain-everything/ |
by PV
Yes, yes. I know we all thought a group of skinny, splintery Druids made Stonehenge for their indestructible calendar. But really, my dear boy, did you have to create such an apparition of the actual deed? You will set back thousands of years of carefully crafted Druidic traditions presided over by that personification of wisdom residing in many ancient beings. Yes, I know we are ready for a change but you are sending us back to galloping, flying cherubs. Honestly, how can we ever be serious? Marlene stamps her feet before the smiling Buddha-like baby sitting in the manger. "Wow," said Marlene. "You amaze me time and again."
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by CC
Doug bought the Little Debbies at his neighborhood Safeway. Well, it was fate, pure and simple. He never asked why he was lucky customer #49 who got the tainted package of junk food. He accepted his fate, and fortunately so did his elderly sister Lorna, though he suspected that was due to her blindness. But she could hear just fine, and when the green ooze had started pouring out from his eyes and lips, congealing on his face like mounds of nutty peanut butter, she heard him bellowing in surprise and consternation. She was the first person to get zapped by the electromagnetic rays that crackled out from the palms of his hands. Fortunately, his developing powers were still weak, and she wasn't badly hurt, though the book case into which she had been flung was considerably disarrayed. Picking herself up from the floor, she said, "Doug, it's not like you to be so energetic. I fear something is wrong." "Hunggh, Hunghhaba, ba ba ga," said Doug. "That's it," said Lorna. "We're taking you to the doctor." She headed for the door, then stopped. "I hear rain. Is it raining, Doug?" "Unghh gubaba," said Doug. "Well, something tells me you won't like getting wet," she told him. She went to the front door and rummaged around. When they went out, they both brought umbrellas, and felt more secure with them.
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http://www.topdesignmag.com/incredible-photos-moments/
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by RMAF
The question hung over them like a loaded pistol. What was the blankety-blank idiotic captain of this ship doing when he smashed into the dock??
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"The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them."
by TNT
The man held the globe of the full moon over the city as if he let it go it might crash and explode. The Sultan of Brunei claimed suzerainty over them. But the man held up the full moon in defiance. If the Sultan didn't renounce his bogus claims - yes - he would let go of the moon and it would destroy the city and all civilization. "It's either THAT or quit trying to bully and push us around!" he told the Sultan. The Sultan sighed and woke up from his empirical dream. He certainly didn't wish to argue with a man that could hold up the moon.
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