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| http://andrewtheplanner.blogspot.com/2007/10/unusual-things-on-wikipedia.html |
By CC
Jared Peabottom could never do anything right, but when his mother's house sank into the ground, he smirked. This one wasn't his fault. His conscience was clear, and he felt good. Of course this morning he had broken his windshield with his dentures - not many could manage that, he thought ruefully, suddenly embarrassed by his toothless smile. Inside, he could hear the old bat squawking angrily as she climbed over her furniture towards the door. He was glad the house was gone, as now his whole sordid life history could be razed to the ground. Yet - there were some good times, too. He remembered holding the cat under the water in the grand old clawfooted bath tub. Now, that was nice. This morning his pleasure was laced with nostalgia.
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by PV
Then, in a flash of decision, the answer came to him. I've treated her badly. Her neglect was all the more abject than her scattered companions - they had retired into the indifferent neglect so common to their species once their mistresses were drawn away by real world distractions and the business of growing up. She still had the indrawn breath of 'what have I done, how did I fail, was I not there all the time, accepting in his moments of rage and laughter? Oh, why was I ever made with more than sawdust for brains?' She was not alone in this question put by so many that she envied - who were really in the same state when their carefully arranged supports fell away. I began to wash her face of the miniscule tears which had gathered there.
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by GS
I knew I could not just pretend that everything was OK. If I failed my creative writing class I would probably be expelled since I was already on academic probation after last semester's abysmal grades. Throwing myself at the professor's feet, I begged for mercy. She hesitated momentarily, then hustled me to her car and we drove off together. She offered me a deal: I would help murder her husband, and she would change my grade from F to B+. I hesitated only a moment. I knew her husband was a real SOB who abused his employees, so had no real compunctions about luring him to his death. It went off without a hitch and she shot him behind the county dump where I had convinced him to come. When the police started questioning everyone, we were ready. We had arranged for our alibis in full detail so they corroborated each other. We felt very safe until the police discovered my changed grade. When they read my assignments they knew I did not deserve a B+ so they kept digging until it all blew apart. Our abili was disproved and we are awaiting trial. At least I now have lots of time to practice creative writing.
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| http://laughpls.blogspot.com/2010/10/funny-animals.html |
by RMAF
Nuclear warheads are in circulation in the world. Most of the people are very concerned about it. And even the animals, too. This prairie dog has taken to drinking alcohol to help him forget about the war mongers plans to do harm to the human race, innocent animals and nature.
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By TT
Lester and MacKenzie grew up together. When Lester (who was a real pig) decided to go into a monastery and renounce the world with all the goodies that the farmer's son would bring him. He told MacKenzie (his boxer friend) about his decision. MacKenzie didn't think much of the idea. He said, "ochre cloth is the traditional garb of the renunciant." MacKenzie thought food was next to godliness and ochre wasn't a good color for Lester's complexion. Although they remained friends, they parted ways and Lester became a thin, priggish pig with an ochre colored robe and wired bifocals. The last time they met they were spiritually divergent and couldn't agree on ecclesiastical or ecumenical propriety. They quarreled and never saw one another again.
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| http://www.leisuremartini.com/die/ |
by AD
William made everyone swear an oath of loyalty to him and to admit that his family were the best farmers on this side of Ireland. William is part of the Riley family. They have red hair that glows like red flames and dress in rich shades of green and always have a large harvest, even in times of famine. They always carry a a pipe held tight in their teeth. They were liked by many but they are short people, rarely growing over five feet. Because of this they were annoyed with the same two words for the last four centuries. They have been called "hobbits" and "leprechauns." Well, if William is Leprechaun, then he has found the biggest piece of Irish gold on this side of Ireland.
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