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| http://villageofjoy.com/20-unusual-churches-part-i/ |
by A.D.
It was a stupid thing to say. To talk badly about the Baron was bad enough but to tell a secret of his in the hub was worse, and to think that I, the Baron's most trusted knight - who helped build his castle on the side of this mountain in my youth, and brought peace with other lands - was to be banished or executed later for what I said. I knew I had way too many spirits and a little too much ale at the fall festival. But to anger the Baron was worse. I told my family, who lived in the castle, that I loved them and went up to the roof to see what my fate would be. He was up at the edge of the castle, looking over the village.
"So, my dear friend, I must admit that you have angered me about what you told the poeple in the hub about my private life." His voice was calm but you couldn't miss the angry hiss in his tone. "I'm afraid that I must banish you for a year though I have one question."
"Yes my lord," I answered.
"How did you know about my incident with that haca-haca danger on the night of the falfl festival?"
I looked at him and grinned and laughed. I couldn't hold it back.
"What's so funny?"
"Well, that haca-haca dancer bearing your child is my little sister."
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"Ralph pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and ate it."
by CC
She sat in the chair holding Ralph's cat Boris in her arms. Her defiant look said it all. He'd been a fool to think she was just an ordinary kid.
"What did you do with his ...fur?" sputtered Ralph.
"Removed it," said the girl.
He rummaged in his pocket for his wallet. "I hired you to give him a bath, not skin him alive," he said angrily. "I'm not going to pay you the full amount."
"Oh?" she asked. "He's clean. That's what you wanted. That's what you got."
He thrust a dollar bill at her. She pulled out a small pocketknife and snapped it open. "Don't insult me," she said quietly, and brought the knife to the cat's neck. "I just see a little spot I missed," she said under her breath.
Boris looked ar Ralph with an inscrutable expression."What do you want," he stammered. "Just tell me."
"I want you to eat your money. That's how I feel about it. That's what I want." She jiggled the knife at the cat's neck.
Ralph pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and ate it. The girl lowered the knife and said, "Purrfect."
"Of course it was illegal."
by PV
It had taken a long time and countless letters which - thank God - are still private. He must have had thousands of excited, tight-lipped volunteers. The postman staggered under the load of daily envelopes. The stock of the educational company rose daily in response to the requests from all over the country. In the basement, the snick-snick of letter openers was constant, akin to rushing train wheels over the rail joints.
And then they were ready for this statement of reflective absurdity and outrage. It was amazing what it took to get Washington to listen. He'd miss that gull-dropping-spotted island.
Of course it was illegal.
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by TT
"Pomona, are your ready?" Mother always said this as she handed me my satchel. The answer was ceremonial and had no bearing on wether I was or not. "I walk the edges of the world and represent the Divine Goddess as her human reflection."
"Very well, daughter - you may go out and live the life of a human teenager, but do not forget yourself, your immortal, mutable soul incarnate."
"Thank you, Mother. I am ready. Bless me that I will be worthy of this duty."
"Go, daughter, with my blessings."
I would swing my books over my shoulder and run for the bus. The other children glared at me. They pushed me out of my seat, pinched me black and blue. I did not cry. I am a Goddess inside. Outside, when I look in the window at my reflection, I see a fat nerd with glasses, unruly hair, crooked teeth and big ears. These kids will be sorry. Next week the bus will crash and they will all die. Good.
It's time to change schools again.
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by GS
I pondered the meaning of love as I sat on my simple, monastic bed with my boon companion's large paw on my shoulder. We had been together since childhood, and he was definitely aging much faster than I. Our love has been intense and all-important. Will I be able to live without him? I cannot imagine how I may spend my time not including his participation.
My parents are hoping I can turn to more human compansionship once he is gone. Some might say it's a weakness to depend entirely on a four-legged companion, but I have always felt I had all the love I needed and thus shunned the company of humans.
I will either have to adapt to a different world, or take my own life when Hammer no longer breathes. My father has even consulted a psychiatrist to develop a plan to keep me alive after the inevitable demise. Hammer has already lived longer than normal, but he is showing signs of aging beyond the ability of medical science to counteract. To be, or not to be, that is my question as well.
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| http://www.jaffamood.com/weird-people-in-the-past/ |
by BG
If I could do it over again, I would not have antagonized my Mother's great uncle Ebert whenver he showed up to visit on family gathering holidays. Understandably, he was a hard person to get along with. His sensitivity to people's reactions to his appearance always had him on the defensive. It should never have been that way. We should have encouraged him to embrace the other side of his heritage instead of trying to get him to confirm to the norms of our side of the family. Looking back, I now realize that it would have been a great learning experience for us if we 'd all gotten to know his perspective on being the son of a human mom and a dad that was a wookie.
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