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“It’s not in your repertoire,” he told her. “Why don’t you learn something new?”
by RC
Felicia was your
ordinary, large Siamese cat—at least, she thought that she was ordinary enough.
She had never done anything out of the usual for cats, although she liked to
attack unsuspecting animals and people from high spots, leaping, Kamakazi style
upon them all unawares and creating havoc. Other than that, she was a plain
nobody, or so she thought.
One day Felicia spotted
Terry, the gray tabby, standing on tiptoe and singing at the top of his voice.
The strange thing is that his voice did not sound so cat-like; it was almost
operatic. Well, Felcia thought she would try this, and she warmed up her vocal
chords. Terry stopped, dropped to four paws, and got a very irritated look on
his puss. He shook his head and turned up his little nose. “please do not sing;
i t just sounds like you’re trying to copy me and doing a poor job of it.” Then
Terry noticed Felicia’s disappointment, and became more encouraging. “It’s not
in your repertoire,” he told her. “Why don’t you learn something new?”
So, Felicia did try
something new. Her mistress, Miss Pingham, had this pale pink parasole, of
which she was very fond, and she took it with her everytime they went to the
beach. The next time they all went
there, Felicia got an idea in her head. She would show Terry, and Miss Pingham
as well, how indispensible she was as a pet and how clever! She waited until
Miss Pingham decided to go for a swim, and then she carried out her plan—sort
of. She had to work at it quite a few times before she got it right. But when
Miss Pingham came back to lie down—well, you can imagine her surprise! She was
so surprised and delighted that she went out and bought a matching parasole for
Felicia.
After that, every time
they went to the beach, Terry sang opera for Miss Pingham and Felicia simply
basked under her parasole.
"The old woman turned back from the window, shaking her head
in sorrow. She had seen it all before."
By CC
The Sunflower Elder Abuse Avoidance Society had arranged for
the warehousing of several hundred octogenarians unfortunate enough to have
neither homes of their own nor friends interested in taking them in. But these
octos were a resilient group and decided to make the best of it, even though
their allowances were only $5 per week. They pooled their money and began
having bacon cook-offs in the morning and then placed a Wal-Mart croquet set in
the back yard. Life was good. But there were some of the elders who preferred
their own company, like Sadie McDonagle and Lydia Smallweathers. Lydia had been
allowed to keep a pet parakeet named Lucius. Lydia doted over Lucius and the
rest of the crew bought birdseed for him out of the pooled money. Sadie, who
had no pets, sat at the window in her narrow cell and watched feral cats come
and go. Cats gave her such pleasure. She had lived with several hundred of them
before the evil social workers dragged her here. so she took a poignant
pleasure watching the still-free feline population, vicariously enjoying their
antics. They were wild, and did what they wanted. She admired that. One in
particular she had taken to calling Jailbird, because the cat dragged old socks
and candy wrappers into the bushes behind the warehouse. She knew it stole, and
hoped it would steal better stuff, perhaps something she herself could in turn
pilfer and maybe sell. One day Jailbird dragged an umbrella past her windows,
and then lay relaxing in its shade. As he relaxed, Jailbird burped up a few
parakeet feathers. The old woman turned back from the window, shaking her head
in sorrow. She had seen it all before.
"The dinner table was spread with good food and choice wine, but no one felt like eating."
by TNT
I love the nightlife, myself. So it was a shock to me and my life-style to be suddenly taken in a box to the beach with the kids! Actually, they hid me in the box in order to kidnap me. I meowed loudly but no-one heard. It was dark in the box which was fine. I settled down and slept.
When we were at the beach they let me out and I walked around the big sandbox with a huge bath that was positively frightful. There were big splashes; someone screamed and everyone headed for shore. Some of those who were bathing in the big bath called the "ocean" were on boards. They said someone had lost an arm to a shark. There was blood all over. That night the table was spread with good food and choice wine, but no one felt like eating. The kids, in all the excitement, had forgotten me at the beach.
That's how I became a beach bum. I had to fight the seagulls for food - but seagulls are stupid (and delicious). The kids came back to the beach to look for me, but it was too late. I had gone feral.
"Soup is often the starter for a full course meal, and sometimes it is the meal itself."
by BG
Carol and her family were out at the desert for another picnic. As usual they had brought all their pets, too. these excursions were an elaborate affair for her family, not just the usual sandwiches and chips. They carried everything they could possibly want out to their favorite spot. Chairs, tables, shade and all the utensils and provisions to cook their meal. They set everything up, even shade for the cats and dogs. For their meal, soup is often the starter for a full course meal, and sometimes it is the meal itself. That was followed by elaborate desserts and coffee. Then they all reposed in the shade and napped or chatted for a while before returning home at dusk.
"He was tired before he even got out of bed."
by GS
He was tired before he even got out of bed, so the plans for the day became just a trip to the beach. Last night he had hunted small mammals somewhat successfully, so he felt he had earned some more rest than the few hours before dawn. The beach was very appealing since it was only a short walk away, and the litter box was all around him as well. Sometimes a stray dog came too close but Growler had no fear. He had repelled all dogs with his sharp claws his whole life. Then he fell asleep under his umbrella, but remained watchful, so when the photographer approached he lifted his head but felt no threat, so remained supine. Nothing would be allowed to intrude on his luxuriant laziness today!
"Amanda was agoraphobic and Ted was claustrophobic, otherwise they had much in common."
by PV
Actually, the beach was the right place, provided one had essential accoutrements. Ted was even happy standing in the pouring rain without an umbrella. He didn't mind getting wet, feeling so free. Amanda was most happy in a tightly closed room with dense curtains, but today with a cloudy sky they were in a good compromise, for Amanda was agoraphobic and Ted was claustrophobic, otherwise they had much in common. They were often happy playing Blindman's Bluff simultaneously - how they did it, I am unsure.
"It didn't take three guesses for Elisabeth to figure it out."
by RMAF
It didn't take three guesses for Elisabeth to figure it out; if she keeps the excessive sun off her body, keeps her hair groomed, wears a pleasant grin, blinks her golden eyes real pretty, purrs in the millionaire's ear at certain times of shared affection, she could stay "sitting pretty" on the luxurious warmed sands of Acapulco, Mexico.
