Session December 21, 2013

http://www.wwwebfun.com/funny-and-strange-sleeping-positions

"They were preparing for trouble."
by PV

I know it's that time of the year - fall, getting ready for winter - and nuts! I'm an expert pine conist. I can bite and drop hundreds of cones a day. My main problem is that after stashing the cones in perfect hiding places, I forget where I put them. Horror of horrors! My nearest of relations had been super busy despite their endless chattering. It was the arrival of those vagabond revelers from the south - those garishly tufted bandits who disdained working in the heights but instead - stole- yes stole our hard won gains. I'd warned Eliza about the upcoming battle. They were preparing for trouble. Still, what else could I do on this warm, fall day beneath a stripped pine? Snooze while one can, rest before going into the breach. A little early to sing, "I just go nuts at Christmas."



hotfunparadise.blogspot.com

 "There had never been so many of them in one place before."
by RMAF

I'm the girl in cowgirl boots, braids and cowgirl hat in Campo, California where my husband and I live on 40 mountainous acres out in ranchland country. My husband has a bulldozer and two tractors. He feels very in control and powerful riding upon the metal monsters. He loves to bury and cover things up - motorcycles, bikes, furniture, old rocks and bones, trash, dead farm animals, deceased pets, old trees, used barn straw - you know, everything he thinks we don't need anymore. But when I found this skeleton with his very nasty and bad stepfather's ring still on the fingerbone, he had gone too far. I tried to tell the very nasty and bad stepfather he should be nicer to us, but he would never listen to me.

http://www.worldfishingnetwork.com/community/post/conservation-of-wild-salmon-and-the-salmon-feedlot-boycott

"July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit."
by CC

Richard and Paul had married the same woman. Richard knew her as Linda while Paul called her Tilly. Her real name was Hortense but she liked playing the name game. And she liked playing the husband game too. One day she made a mistake with her calendar and both Richard and Paul met her at Starbucks for an espresso. Richard was upset at first but Paul thought it was a hoot. They ended up being good friends and didn't spend much time with Hortense. She turned to gardening in frustration and planted a plum tree early in the year. Paul and Richard were going out to Home Depot together and they started fishing too. They were spending all their free time together. Hortense felt bad, as if her little game had been turned against her. She brooded until summer. July had passed before the plum tree bore any fruit. Then she packed her bags and left. Richard and Paul came home with a huge fish and found her gone. They baked a plum pie to go with the fish. It wasn't any good. Without Hortense, they didn't feel united in friendship any longer. Richard left. Paul threw out the leftovers which went smelly overnight. A feral cat knocked over the trashcan and finished off the fish. He was the reincarnation of a socialist English professor and wine snob who cheated on his wife. Somewhere in his tiny wildcat brain he thought Pinot Grigio would go well with this.

Session December 7, 2013

http://blog.allstate.com/wildfire-prevention-preparing-your-home/

"The odor got stronger on the porch as he knocked on the door."

by CC

Mac opened his window and sniffed. The wisteria was blooming and he loved the elusive scent. It reminded him of his years in Santa Fe - how every little hacienda was buried in wisteria vines from May to midsummer, when the heat knocked them back. He had been a firefighter then, and fought on the big Jimez Wilderness blaze. He was thinking about the beauty of the fire blossoming into rosettes of red and pink and yellow. He loved fire even more than he loved wisteria or Santa Fe. He smiled, thinking of the secret book he kept with newspaper articles and photographs of all the fires he had set.

Suddenly his reverie was broken by a noxious and foul odor that wafted in from the house next door. The Feathernoughts again! Those chemistry freaks were cooking up another disgusting Golem. He slammed the window shut and put on his gear. Shouldering the flame thrower, he went out onto the porch and crossed the lawn to the Feathernought's little saltbox. The odor got sronger on the porch as he knocked on the door. The door swung open. The Golem looked at him quizzically as he raised the flame thrower. Someday he would have to figure out how to put a camera on one of these.



http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2010/06/nasa_introduces_unfortunately_named_face_in_space_program.php

"He was a fighter, and he wanted war."
by GS

He was a fighter, and he wanted war. At first all had been rosy with bloody battles and sneak attacks, but then he was picked for the Checkmate Project. His assignment: Penetrate the enemy defense and detonate the X-Bomb. Suddenly he developed a conscience and wavered in his committment to destruction. The consequences had become unacceptable and he needed to find an exit which did not get him arrested for treason. The idea finally developed in his troubled mind. He would "accidentally" press his emergency eject button right after taking off so the X-bomb would detonate on impact in the ocean rather than over an innocent civilian population. When the big day arrived he was ready. The telescopic images of his ejection showed him smiling with satisfaction as he watched the remote explosion from the plane's crash into the ocean. After the court martial he was executed by firing squad for treason.



http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2013/05/08/the-wildplaces-cosplay-photography-project-first-batch-of-pictures/wild-places-10/

"Nothing had ever been so fulfilling."
By PV

Skeets looked askance down the slope. Her boots were hurting. Never thought that cross dressing would pose shoe problems, she thought that was behind her. But men's feet were different from women's. And her/his hair would not behave, not a usual thought for a guy. And the rest of the getup necessary for this adventure - well, usually in putting together a B grade movie there were oddities, but this was worse than mixing Finnegan's Wake and Walter Mitty. Still, the pay was good, and, unless one is a born comic, it is hard to get used to the idea that for a long moment in time, one was a complete ass. What would Jane Austen have thought? His existential diet had really changed. Nothing had ever been so fulfilling.