Session March 23, 2013

http://visboo.com/funny-dogs.html

It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.
by RMAF

It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. I know I shouldn't have had sex with that stuffed toy pug dog but I couldn't control my doggie urges. He was so available, so cuddly, so cute and so warm! And I thought I heard him say that I was so cute!

environmentalgraffiti.com

They never regretted a moment of it, which surprised everyone.
by PV

The party was over. Perhaps they had overdone it a bit. Thankfully the fireworks inside hadn't broken any windows. The heat had blistered the ceilings when the gravity had been increased and the whole cathedral edifice began its descent. The light was still good and most of the revelers were passed out outside. Viewed with horror by the populace trapped along with them in this descent to hell, they never regretted a moment of it, which surprised everyone. Had they no unforgivable sins?

herbmother.com

I haven't found an acceptable alternative
recited by GS
reinterpreted via faulty memory by CC

The child had long ago begun to run free in the gardens. He explored every bush and the crops growing in rows, until of course the crops were fenced off. He was an adventurous eater, and had decimated pretty much everything his parents had tried to grow. Pretty soon he was reduced to scavenging in small side lots and secret patches. As there wasn't much foliage, he learned to nibble dirt. Pretty soon dirt seemed to become his favorite food. His parents did not know what to do with him. His father found it innovative. His mother was less sanguine but still perplexed. "He's not having any other problems, and I haven't found an acceptable alternative," she said.

ballybofeyandstranorlar.com

Strange things were happening around him.
By BG

Strange things were happening around him. It was so hard to not be able to participate in the activities he saw from his position. Even though he pointed and gestured and sometimes offered silent opinions, no one ever took time to notice any activity from his direction. He so wished he was somewhere else, somewhere like that Hogwarts Castle he'd heard whispers about, where it was recognized that all of the portraits had the ability to interact with the living inhabitants and help them make decisions. It wasn't fair, being stuck at the Vatican while all of the ambulatory gathered for a vote of some sort and no one even bothered to clue the portrait contingency in as to what all the commotion was about.

http://www.binau.com/Kent/blog/2009_03_01_archive.html

It wasn't my idea
by CC

"It wasn't my idea," squawked Alicia, flapping her wings and walking on tiptoe as if she were still wearing high heels. Since she had been turned into a turkey five years ago, life had become exponentially worse. Wendy, her former friend, her pretend friend, always kept an unnatural distance now. Don't tell me she's not reacting, thought Alicia angrily. Gobble! Gobble! she shouted before she could stop herself. Damn! It's like having Tourette's, she thought. "As I was saying," she began again, "this was not MY idea, as you know!" It was so hard to enunciate with this darn stubby tounge and the hideous beak. She spoke slowly and took long, elegant steps on her toes. "Yes, now I have slimmer legs and I'm a lot bustier, but I never wanted to be an actual bird." Wendy tutted from her position down the block. "Why don't you come closer, Wendy, I can't hear you half a block away! You act like you're embarrassed to be seen with me now!"

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kissing_dogs_edit_Lycaon.jpg

The last time I saw him.
By TNT

Snacking is a full time occupation for chipmunks. Daryll and Daisy met and kissed their greetings as usual. They divided up the Cheetos while talking about Berty.
"Last time I saw him, he was turned into a pair of sandals."
"Oh, how awful! Tragic!"
"Yes, isn't it? Well, the Indians tanned leather by smoking it over old wood, very old, so old it had no sap left. It becomes tough enough to resist cactus spines and rattlesnake bites. It stays flexible and soft. And if you are hungry, you can eat your sandals like jerky."
"Well, it's not as good as Cheetos."
"Tata, Darling -See you later!"
Kiss, Kiss.

http://miscellaneous-strong.blogspot.com/2010/04/unusual-racing-events.html

As inconsequential as the whole experience might have been, I came to see it as a perfect opportunity.
by AD

As inconsequential as the whole experience might have been, I came to see it as a perfect opportunity. I still live with my Mother, and we have no money, a rotten cot, a little overgrown garden and a pig, but today I will change all of that. The Prince of Spain is having a bull run but with women as the bulls. We are to wear wedding dresses and caps with bull horns, and run a 50 mile race to his palace. He will marry the winner. It has been 48 miles in this race and even though I am a little supersized, as I put it, I ran a hell of a lot faster than the other women! A blond falls back and I take first place. The Prince walks out to me, pulls his hand on my head and says, This race was just a bunch of bull shit! Excuse me, I shout. He pulls the hat over my face and yells, April Fools, and runs off making Daffy Duck noises.

Session March 9, 2013

news.com.au

"As you grow used to this practice, you can start taking more risks."
by RMAF

Beyond the Iron Man Race.  
As you grow used to this practice, you can start taking more risks. First, you have to be a bit coo-coo and an excellent swimmer - or don't do this latest "crazy extreme super sport". You ride your bike up the rocky trail with your surfboard strapped on your sunhat. Then you run over the wall of wet rocks with your surfboard at your side. Then you jog up the 222 steps of the lighthouse while dragging your surfboard over each step. You kiss the light in the lens room, then you go out the door on to the deck. When the next super wave comes, you take a deep breath and jump from the railing with your surfboard. And you hope for some saving miracle to happen.

This is all being filmed by the Society of Super Coo-Coo Extreme Sports so they will know which of the super fools gets the grand award. By the way, the reward is getting all your hospital bills paid or a surfer's memorial circle event at sea.





jimmccormac.blogspot.com

"You don't have to apologize."
By PV

"Ethel, just because you were cavorting away in wild abandon in the absence of coyotes gone to their late afternoon howl..." 

"Well," said Helen, "For once I really understand your hoydenish way - in that time of impertinent tails and saucy ways. And I am not just a vegetating stump spouting our clan's homilies. I, too, shocking as it may seem, was like you and still am in my afternoon dreams. You don't have to apologize."

"Now?" Helen grinned impishly, "That over, I'm ready to play."

http://www.sharonwheatley.com/2011/09/02/a-series-of-unusual-events-blogisode-two/

"That was a strange thing to say, but it made me feel better."
by TT

The child looked bemused. There were plenty of toys to play with, but instead she listened to the psychologist talking to her parents. The psychologist said, "Isn't it extraordinary that children this age still believe in magic? Elves and Santa and the Great Pumpkin or the Easter Bunney."

The child's mother smiled. "I think it's rather extraordinary that adults don't know what children know. Everything is real. It's just in various disguises. You, for instance, you are a well-educated scientist on the outside but really, deep down, aren't you actually a garden gnome?"

It was a strange thing to say but it made her feel better to hear it. It was a fact she hadn't realized.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/62842731@N06/8201638823/

"They didn't know what to do next."
by AD

She was very depressed, why wouldn't she be? Her son had just died. Normal people would just weep and feel lost, but not her. She was one of the last students of the magic arts - however she had lost sight of the true ways and fallen to the dark arts. So she carefully set the date. On that day she drew the transmutational circle and gathered the materials she needed in small amounts. She had carbon, iron, salt, phosporus and a few other elements of the human body, and, in the mix, blood from her and from her husband. She felt it necessary for bringing back her son. She lit the candles and started the ritual. She was into it for a little while when she heard her husband's blood-chilling scream. She ran out horrifed to see him bleeding from missing limbs. She knew alchemy uses the principle of element exchange but didn't expect the price to be this much. They heard a sound and looked at the room she came from. They didn't know what to do next. The thing that was supposed to be her son was not even human.

http://blog.anytrip.com/ten-unusual-places-to-get-married-in-london-have-your-own-royal-wedding

"Some of us may have a lot of power in this world and others of us may have too little."
by CC

The pod hovered gently over the city as Derek observed the huddled masses below. Richard snapped some photographs and turned to Derek:  We ought to keep some kind of record for posterity."

"What posterity," snapped Derek. "I don't intend any posterity."

Well, excuse me, thought Richard. He turned back to the view and snapped more photographs. Some of us may have a lot more power in this world and others of us may have too little, he thought. Suddenly he knew what must be done. He threw his camera at Derek and knocked him out. Then he opened one panel of the pod and threw out the body. "We will have posterity," Derek, he said with finality.

"What did you DO?" cried Tom, who had been in the back of the pod. Richard picked up his camera and said, "Derek was going to kill us all! He didn't want posterity!"

"What are you saying? Of course he did. His wife's pregnant!"

"Oh," said Richard. That put a different spin on things. He threw his camera at Tom, knocked him out and tossed the body out of the pod. Then he stood panting from the effort. He just wanted to take photographs! And now he had killed two people. It struck him as farfetched and bizzarre, yet it was real. He had done it.

He took control of the pod and gently set it down in a park. Maybe he could just walk away from all this. His motives had been good, after all. He stepped out of the pod onto fresh green grass, still damp from morning dew, brief moments before the multiple megaton nuclear blast embedded in the pod annihilated half the continent.





http://www.casasugar.com/5-Unusual-Places-Hang-Chandelier-11154055


"Every moment of every day, we have a choice."
by LD

The Shapeshifter, Shy-eeta was captured by the Calvary one sad day. She said with her eyes "every moment of everyday we have a choice - to love or be loved ".

She glanced at the two legged creature who was standing over her and she said to him, "I will be gone by sundown so do not doubt me - there will be a time when you need a ride to a better place and I will only be able to rescue the ones with the mark of LOVE that I can recognize.....

Shy-eeta AHO